[stevenstwin]

Austin is still "punishing" me for not picking him up on Saturday, and probably also for giving him "inadequate" Christmas presents. He walks by me at school, POINTEDLY ignoring me. I won't play that game. But tonight I found out (via my daughter's Facebook) that he got in a fist fight after school and got both front teeth knocked out. He was smart enough (somewhat to my surprise) to contact his Social Worker, who sent him to the dentist right away. I have a dreadful urge to call him and see if he's okay - but I know that he'd rebuff me at this point. I'd also be tempted to give him trouble for the fighting. And apparently idiot "dad' posted congratulation on the Facebook page saying "way to go" and "i hope the other guy's in the hospital - or the morgue!" (yeah, the other guy is half A's size, and did need a few stitches to his hand, where he cut his knuckles on A's teeth. HA!) He's making his own decisions and choosing his own solutions, so I need to leave him alone and not rush in to help and enable. But I need to post it here to distract me so I don't do it!! (and WHY does a kid who is so afraid of pain - used to call me to rush him to coddle him for every scrape - keep picking fights and getting himself injured??)

[teacher-mom]

Sometimes, in my experience, kids will find a way to cause themselves physical pain to hide or be able to ignore, the emotional pain.* That is one reason kids will cut or burn themselves and this could be the same.* Just a thought.*

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by teacher-mom

Sometimes, in my experience, kids will find a way to cause themselves physical pain to hide or be able to ignore, the emotional pain.* That is one reason kids will cut or burn themselves and this could be the same.* Just a thought.*

Yeah, it's possible. He is an adrenaline junkie - he self medicates with anger and drama. *sigh* So NOT the way I like to live ;-)

[waited2long]

No phone calls...

Would you feel better if you sent him a message via the social worker? Then he can't rebuff you, but you'll know he knows you were thinking of him and care how he is.

Again... no phone calls!!

(Trying to follow yor request and urge you not to call) ((hugs))

[ca-bigsister]

What if you text him and tell him you love him, and are there if he wants to talk? That way you're not rebuffed but I bet he is very lonely now and though he might not be open to you, I bet it would mean a lot to him to know you're still there.

Even though he's acting like a jerk to you, we all still need our mommies.

[AmahMama]

I would post a symapthetic reply on his Facebook. Not necessarily one that condones his actions - and let the FAMILY see it.... let them also see that you love him and are still there for him. If he lied to you (like about all the Christmas issues) he may have lied to them also.... The cloack of secrecy.....

[Lorraine123]

When my oldest son left the house, I knew that any contact I had with him directly would be rejected. So, I text messaged him every other day. Short things that required nothing from him. "I love you", "I'm thinking about you", "Hope all is well". That kind of thing. I didn't say for him to call me or contact me becuase that would have been too much pressure. I didn't mention specific things he had done because that would have made him defensive. I didn't hear from him for months but he knew that I was there and I cared. I was hurt, but I mostly wanted him to know that he was not alone.

[stevenstwin]

Thanks, ladies. I'll do that. I don't know that *I* could be really nice face-to-face right now since he obviously thinks the fight and the broken teeth are "cool" and something to brag about, so a text or Facebook message are definitely safer ;-)