[msyoung21_-.]

i have been in a battle for a year now my relatives were taken and put in foster care because of a death and neglect. The same day they were put in foster care we stepped up to get them as my sister and i at the time were both foster parents and had room for the children. Even though we were foster parents we had to go through a background check again that took 6 weeks for them to come back when they just could of checked with the foster care agency. A day has not went by that we have not called to get in contact with the social worker when she finally came in contact with us it had been almost two month that had gone by it took the social worker almost two more months to meet with us.

We had a visit with the children because the parents visits were stopped because the baby witch was 3months woke screaming through the night and the little boy witch is 2 kicked the dog it was them acting out. Now the little boy has a theripst who said she didn't want relative placement because there is a bond and doesn't the little boy to get set back but we have been having visits for 9 months 2 month for 1 hour, 3 months for 2 hours, and now unsupervised in our home for 3 hours once a week.

The foster mother wants to adopt she filed for defacto even though she knew we were trying to transition the children,the lawyer doesn't want relative placement because he said he has only been keeping in contact with the foster mother that has been feeding them so much stuff, the social worker that is a reunification worker has said she is not in 100 percent agreement with relative placement but it doesn't have anything to do with my husband and i.i

Its been a year and we haven't even got to relative placement in court yet. The mother got pregnant soon after the children were removed and the baby was born in November she has down syndrome and has been placed with me but i haven't been able to get placement with my relatives. They are saying it is all up to the judge even though the children have a bond with us as well as have shown they can adjust in my home. i am a county foster home and they are county foster children the county took so long to attempt to place the children that they created a bond with the foster mother that has four children of her own. She is saying the one year old has dierrea because of stress when she comes to our home and the little boy kicks and yells at her because of coming to our home. We were not in these children's lives before this took place because the parents lived in another town. I need advice on what to do next or what the outcome might be.

i don't know why we are going through this everyone that i talked to says that they don't understand it either please give me some feed back fast.

[waited2long]

I have no advice, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I'm amazed that the kids weren't immediately placed with you or your sister, being licensed Foster homes!! Wow!!!

[thelowlanders]

defacto?

What's that?

[stevenstwin]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. There is NO excuse for not immediately transitioning to relatives, especially ones who are already certified foster parents!! If the foster mom knew that from the start, it takes a lot of nerve for her to file for de facto...but I alwys feel sorry for everyone involved in a mess like this, when it is clearly the SW's fault. I don't know what you can do beyond getting a lawyer and fighting this :-(

[Withay]

lowlanders - defacto is similar to current caretaker status.