[spicedmama]

Today there was a hearing scheduled in the other State, (this is an ICPC relative foster parent placement). In calling the contracted agency's Social Worker, I was told that she did not have all the info. as of yet, but she thinks the goal has been changed to adoption. She thinks the birth mom, (my cousin), has been granted the right to call and/or send cards, letters, and gifts. And she thinks TPR will happen. So, of course, I ask about relinquishment, or my cousin appealing a TPR decision. (I am not in contact with my cousin at the moment due to court order.) Social Worker states that she thinks that my cousin won't relinquish, however, she also thinks that the kids won't be returned to her because she has a lot to prove, (rehab, which she is as of 10/08 been living in a 24 hour facility; getting a real job; and finding a home that is stable for herself; etc.). Okay, I jot all of this down, and she agrees to call me back when she has more information.

I call the Casa Rep. I tell her what the
Social Worker said, and she tells me that she was in court, the Mom did not show, the Case Worker/Social Worker did not show, and the Law Guardian left early. She tops all of this off by telling me that court was adjourned.

I am so totally confused on who is providing me the right information. The Social Worker was sounding as if she really did have the scoop, (sometimes she is not the SW to attend court, they assign others in her building for court, and they report back to her). The CASA Rep. has a history of being very helpful to me and I want to believe her, but what does court adjournment mean?

Please, help me clarify this situation if you can. I know that they both could be providing me with the correct information, but who is sounding more knowledgeable?

[Withay]

I really don't know quite what to say. I would tend to lean towards a combination of what they are both telling you.

Can you ask the child(ren)s cw that you have been dealing with all along (assuming that it is not the sw you mentioned previously)? Is there any way to get hold of a court report?

[ca-bigsister]

In CA, the judges issues a minute order for each case usually. I would think that the CASA's supervisor (a paid person) would be able to get the minute order.

[greenrobin]

Our kids' GAL always talks to us, so I think I'd email him/her and ask. That way, you can get the 3rd side. It will probably match one of the stories.

Not trying to hijack or anything, but our kids' biodad and his cousin share a last name. Both of them have kids in fc and both were in court on the same day, both wearing prison stripes having been brought in from the county jail, back to back hearings. Both were going to TPR. Cousin has 3 kids, we have dad's 2. The judge starts trying to schedule the trials. Turns out both cases have ALL the same attorneys--like 4 for each of the intervening family, the parents, etc. So, even the judge cannot keep the kids straight, let alone the men sitting in front of him.

All of that is a convoluted way of saying maybe the cw or the CASA got your child mixed up with someone of similar name. Sounds loony, I know, but I watched it happen.

[wife2grumpy]

I wold get the recorded tape for that day and watch it, to be honest with you in my own situation I don't know what to believe.

[spicedmama]

The CASA who I spoke with, and am in contact with regularly, is also the Director of the CASA Program in this N.Y.C. Borough. She has been exceedingly helpful to me throughout this venture. The SW whom I spoke with has been working with this case since 09/07. She has been helpful too, but is very young and came into the whole thing very green. She often guesses at what she thinks will happen, so I am still torn, especially with all of her "I think" comments.

[fostapeepz]

My experience has been that our Casa worker is much more honest and informational with us than our caseworkers have been. The caseworkers have a high case load, each case with loads of people they have to interract with. It also seems, to me, that they will often say just enough so as not to have to deal with too many questions or conflict. Our Casa worker represents only our children, and sees them every 2 weeks.

[angleheart]

I have never worked with a CASA rep in my fostering experiences but I would be more apt to take what she says to heart. Case workers God bless them I just don't believe them a lot of the time. I think they tell you what you want to hear in order to keep the kids in a good home or to place them in your home if your good and have a n open bed.

As for mom cleaning up. I had two kids for 9 months. Mom was on meth, she cleaned up got a job and a house and got her kids back. The first 6 months I was sure I would get to adopt them, the cw told me it was the worst house she had ever seen. dad had tried to run mom and kids over with a car, they were cooking in the house, no family to go with the whole bit. Please don't put yourself where I was. I was just so sure they would never go back and sure enough they did.

[spicedmama]

More information: From what I have read of the court pre-preceedings, and from a conversation I had with the Mother, this program is a 12 to 13 month program. I am almost sure, if she stays with it, they will be helping her with housing, employment, etc., plus she has to stay clean. The 1st child was born addicted, and has been abused and neglected in foster care and out. The 2nd child, born this past year, was born addicted. She has never had custody of the 2nd child. He was placed right after discharge into a foster home. It is on record that until 11/08, none of the agency's involved could locate her and she was considered AWOL.

She is my family, and I love her, but I am so mad at her. I am tired of this system, and I just wish that things could be different. I think it's my responsibility to make it as different for these children as I can, but to what avail? I hate thinking that the oldest (most especially) may have to return to what may not be the best situation, and so with that thought, I would like for what the SW says to be true regarding the plan change is to adoption, and the State will pursue TPR. Which is also scary, because from what I have read about that too, anything can happen.