[fostapeepz]

posted this over in another thread, and realized I meant for it to go here, where there seems to be more 'action'.

We are very frustrated. We have twin 5yo girls that we have had with us for over a year. When they came to us their case was supposedly moving towards termination, then it went back and forth from reunification to termination multiple times. Mom just would only ever do just enough of her plan for the team to keep giving her more and more chances. Finally the team had enough of moms mediocre efforts, and filed termination.

Mom also had a baby boy - who was 13mo old at the time that visits were pulled with the girls. HHS pulled the baby because mom was not taking care of his medical needs. He was placed with us. His health improved, his development improved, and he is healthy and happy. The 3 had been having weekly visits, that increased to 4 full days and nights a week, since the baby was born, so they had a bond. Now that they've lived together in our home for the last 6 months, that bond is stronger than ever.

When termination was filed on the girls, the judge asked for the papers on the baby, too. The GAL filed because the judge basically insisted - but she wasn't positive she had a strong enough case. We were supposed to have court in December, but it was continued due to the county atty having another trial that day. Now it is set in March. Well, now the GAL is getting cold feel and trying to change the babies goal from TPR to reunification. She proposed this back in December and the rest of the team shot it down - but now she's pushing it again. I'm really upset - because if it hadn't been for the continuance, we wouldn't be dealing with this right now! She says if they change the goal, they will have to remove the baby so that it doesn't confuse the girls. And yet, she says she doesn't believe for a minute that Mom will actually follow through with a plan to get the baby back, either - so her proposition is just based on putting together a plan that mom will fail, so that she has a stronger case. I do not agree with this. Her proposition will cause trauma to all 3 kids, and could significantly damage the security the girls are finally building with us.

I trust that the caseworker, supervisor, casa worker, and other members of the team will think this through. But in the meantime, I feel very helpless. I checked online to try to find current HHS policy for siblings, and evidently our state doesn't specifically spell it out to keep siblings together. Any suggestions or advice from any of you? I truly believe these kids will all be ours in the end - but I don't see any reason to traumatize them any further than they already have been just to make a case.

[stevenstwin]

I don't know what to tell you, but it sure sounds weird. From all the zillions of threads here about siblings being kept TOGETHER (even if you can't find written documentation of that policy, I think it is pretty universal), I don't think it is likely a judge would allow them to be separated now just to "avoid confusion" - but I'll never understand half the decisions made in this crazy system :-( I offer you my sincere wishes that sanity prevails and the right thing is done here!

Originally Posted by fostapeepz

posted this over in another thread, and realized I meant for it to go here, where there seems to be more 'action'.

We are very frustrated. We have twin 5yo girls that we have had with us for over a year. When they came to us their case was supposedly moving towards termination, then it went back and forth from reunification to termination multiple times. Mom just would only ever do just enough of her plan for the team to keep giving her more and more chances. Finally the team had enough of moms mediocre efforts, and filed termination.

Mom also had a baby boy - who was 13mo old at the time that visits were pulled with the girls. HHS pulled the baby because mom was not taking care of his medical needs. He was placed with us. His health improved, his development improved, and he is healthy and happy. The 3 had been having weekly visits, that increased to 4 full days and nights a week, since the baby was born, so they had a bond. Now that they've lived together in our home for the last 6 months, that bond is stronger than ever.

When termination was filed on the girls, the judge asked for the papers on the baby, too. The GAL filed because the judge basically insisted - but she wasn't positive she had a strong enough case. We were supposed to have court in December, but it was continued due to the county atty having another trial that day. Now it is set in March. Well, now the GAL is getting cold feel and trying to change the babies goal from TPR to reunification. She proposed this back in December and the rest of the team shot it down - but now she's pushing it again. I'm really upset - because if it hadn't been for the continuance, we wouldn't be dealing with this right now! She says if they change the goal, they will have to remove the baby so that it doesn't confuse the girls. And yet, she says she doesn't believe for a minute that Mom will actually follow through with a plan to get the baby back, either - so her proposition is just based on putting together a plan that mom will fail, so that she has a stronger case. I do not agree with this. Her proposition will cause trauma to all 3 kids, and could significantly damage the security the girls are finally building with us.

I trust that the caseworker, supervisor, casa worker, and other members of the team will think this through. But in the meantime, I feel very helpless. I checked online to try to find current HHS policy for siblings, and evidently our state doesn't specifically spell it out to keep siblings together. Any suggestions or advice from any of you? I truly believe these kids will all be ours in the end - but I don't see any reason to traumatize them any further than they already have been just to make a case.

[jllambert]

Did you say you have had the kids 1 year (or at least the girls)? In my state at 1 year foster parents can hire an attorney and file as defacto parents. We just did this and as my attorney explained it...we are ask the court for TPR, and even if the state were to change their plan to RU(in our case they won't) or relative placement we can still request TPR an adoption by us and present our reasons for believing that is what is in the childs best interest. I think that other people on here could explain it better (Boulderbabe is a great person to ask on here), but I thought I would just tell you what I know from my end!
It sounds like a huge mess and like someone is just trying to cover their behind instead of really thinking about what is right for all 3 kids! Good luck!!!

[fostapeepz]

The girls have been here for 15 months, and the baby for 6 of that. I don't think our state recognizes defacto parents, but I will check for sure. I was just hoping and praying that our hhs policy had a clause about keeping siblings together. Many states do. What I found was that most of our states policy is over 10 years old.

I'm torn about bringing an attorney with us if they have another meeting. I did speak to the attorney we will have represent us in the adoption, and filled him in on what's being proposed. On the one hand, I feel like we're at a point where representation is a good idea. But on the other hand, I don't want to stir the pot and make anyone angry with us and end up losing all 3 kids.

Our Casa worker met with the GAL on Thursday, and she was supposed to meet with the County Atty yesterday to see if she could convince him of her stance. We also have a Foster Care Review board meeting on Monday. We weren't initially going to go (I broke my ankle just before Christmas and I'm on crutches. Not fun to get around on in this snowy icy weather). I did submit a report and mentioned my concern about separating the kids - but at the time I sent it in it had been decided that they would continue on to trial for all 3, so I didn't write more than a sentence about my concerns. I'm wondering if we should just plan on going, or if it would matter. I don't think the GAL is going to wait for a review board finding before she acts.

From what our atty told us - he said the GAL can't just change the case from TPR to reunification without going before the judge. If that is right - I don't have nearly the concern. Because this Judge is the one who requested TPR on the baby in the first place - chances of him reversing that is pretty slim. Our atty is familiar with this judge and said it's highly unlikely he would be for splitting the kids up.

Thank you for the information - and I will keep searching!!

[lakin11]

I feel your pain!

We have 2 sib groups. We are in the process of adopting the one group of three that we've had for 3 yrs. We had their 1/2 brother from 2 months old until 13 months old. His case plan was always considered entirely separate from theirs. Bio mom completed it and he went home. We have managed to create a very good relationship with the bio mom and we now have ffs over to our house very often. The kids have been able to maintain a good bond. He has been gone for 5 months.

We have another sibling group of two. We've had the oldest for over 2 years. We had the baby from 1 month until 8 months. She was sent home on a technicality. She was home w/ bio mom for 3 months, and then back in care. The oldest had TPR filed, trial held, TPR lost. RU was the goal again but when bio mom started screwing up again and the baby came back into care, things started changing. We are now looking at TPR being filed again at the end of Jan. However, the baby is NOT being included in this. Their cases have also been kept separate. So we once again face the possibility of loosing the baby, who is now over 1 yrs old. Bio mom has not improved her situation in the 2 1/2 yrs that the oldest has been in care, so she might not get it together, but given the people currently involved in this case, I see them giving bio mom at least another year, at which point, the baby will be 2 yrs old before a decision is made.

I hope since they already filed TPR on the baby that no one will overturn it. In our cases, they wouldn't even put the cases together.

What is your relationship with the bios on the chance he should return? In the first one I mentioned, things are good and we get to see ffs often. The second situation we've tried to be open, but bios rejected any type of relationship with us. We never got to see fd in that time she was w/ biomom.

Again, Good Luck!

Lakin

[4cats2kids]

I believe Federal Law in United states is to keep sib together if at all possable.

[fostapeepz]

***Just found it*** Thank you 4cats2kids!! The law was put in to effect Oct 7 2008 and has a section 206 which states :Keeping brothers and sisters together — States must now make reasonable efforts to place siblings together in adoption, guardianship, or foster care, unless the placement would adversely affect any sibling’s safety or well-being. When siblings are separated, states must make efforts to facilitate, as long it is safe, regular visitation or other contact.


I would have been more understanding if the goal had been reunification and he had been moved out within the first couple of months. But it's been 6 months and the goal has been TPR that entire time. I think now is a very poor time to be backtracking.

[4cats2kids]

Glad I could help. I just dont understand why they cant TPR on all 3 children. Since there is another fed Law about if a child is in care 15 of the last 22 months the states are now so posed to TPR. And when TPR happens to 1 child it is easier to term on all.
I am Heading to TPR on Tuesday!!!! Grand child in custody 13 months 1 week. Then we start the adoption thing. I think the 15/22 month rule was passed also some time last year.

[fostapeepz]

Foster care review board met today and they advised keeping all 3 kids together in our home, and seeking termination on all 3. It's not a 'final answer', but it's a step in the right direction. Now we hold our breath until the Casa, CW, Supervisor, GAL, Cty Atty's, etc... all meet later this week to make the final decison. They already had a meeting a month ago and decided to leave it alone and continue on to trial - but then the GAL started getting cold feet again. I just hope we can make it to trial - I think that's our best chance.

[jeavesmom]

Were do you find these laws at , so is the 15 months thing for all states ,I am in Alabama and we have had our little ones 14 months and I am wondering if it is timeto get a lawyer?

[lakin11]

The 15 of 22 months is a federal law called ASFA Adoption and Safe Families Act. I think it was first done in 1997.

However, there are clauses in it that make it so the judge can work around it if they are so inclined.

[fostapeepz]

Oh yea - our girls have been in the system over 2 years already. At 15 of 22 months, they have to start talking about the possibility of termination - but it doesn't mean they pull the plug at 15 months.

[4cats2kids]

I have been to the foster parent review board meeting and was told in my PATH classes that 90% of the time the judge goes along with what the board suggests.
In our case that is exactly what is happening.

[fostapeepz]

That's excellent to hear!! We also have a vigilant and very active Casa worker who wants the kids to stay together. From what I've heard, judges take Casa recomondations pretty seriously too. Caseworkers are overloaded with cases and only see the kids for a short time 1x a month. Our Casa worker is here every 2 weeks, without fail (when he fell and hurt his knee, we took the kids to him). The girls have actually stayed overnight with him and his wife (so that we could attend our yearly fostering conference to get our required license hours). He only has the one case, and he has been there from the beginning. We've had a revolving door of caseworkers.

[timleenettesue]

I hope you get to go to court soon!! I can't imagine that the GAL has more power than the judge. Keep us updated!! I'm saying a prayer!!