[blubutterflies03]

I am stuck in limbo land. I love being a foster parent, but hate waiting to find out what is going on and hate when court is coming up and they increase visits and don't tell us what is going on. Only tell us what we need to do. I feel sometimes that one of our social workers treat the BIO's like royalty. Seriously. I wonder sometimes if they have to appear to be on their side in order not to conflict the case. I don't know. One of my social workers is the total opposite. She treats us like family and let's us know what is up. I am just in the point of both of our cases that I am waiting to find out information and in the other case waiting to see if the case will stay reunification. Maybe I am focusing too much on how I feel. Maybe I need to think about the kids and not worry about the system.

[Withay]

You have just hit on one of the biggest venting issues of foster parents.

It is so aggravating to not know what is going on with a case.

[jllambert]

I agree the not knowing is the hardest part! I can't stand to be in the dark on things! I would rather know what is going on and deal with any disappointment I may feel, then to be gobsmacked with the details at the last moment!

Hang in there!!

[jphollen]

All the inconsistency is hard too! Having one cw that will give you a general heads up is great, but then later you get one that might not at all it can be sooo frustrating.

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

[CaddoRose]

I know it can be frustrating not knowing what is going on in the case.Luckily my CW tells me almost everything when I bring the kids for their visit and will answer my questions. I'm going to hate it when I get a CW that tells me nothing! I try not to pry , but it does help me understand what the state is doing to help my foster kids and what the parent have or haven't done on their plan. This is one of those issues where we wish there was a law about it where they had to keep the foster parents informed about what was going on.

[mamachell]

I understand how you feel. My case worker won't tell me anything. For example, our visits were changed from 3 times per week to 1 time per week. Will she tell me why... of course not.

One thing I do hate is that it seems like some of the cw's and the "system" treats us like we have no feelings. Then, they just say that we knew what we were getting into. Well, really, I don't think most of us knew how really difficult this process really is. Plus, there is such a thing as common decency. The cw's really need to treat us as the caring human beings we are.

[fostapeepz]

We're always the last to know, too. And you would think that being the primary caregivers to the children, our input would be important to take into consideration, but it often seems like it isn't. We've always said - it isn't the kids that are the frustration for us, it's dealing with the state...which really means sitting around trying to figure out what they're doing.