[EAGLE6]

I really have to believe that the CW's do not know what they are doing here. My nephew's maternal grandparents custody hearing was this past Monday- at which mom had also petitioned the court to receive custody back as well. They held the hearings back to back.

We've been trying to get foster custody of my nephew since 11/3 (4 days before he was actually placed.....all indicators were he was going to be placed that week, and we wanted to be heard "just in case").

Anyhow, as I've posted we were supposed to receive placement if the grandparents or mom did not get custody of the baby, this week. They swore up and down they'd place him w/ us before the holiday. They even let us pick him up last week for a 6hr visit to prepare for this.

Well the hearing comes and goes and it's adjorned w/ no decision being made.......we spend all week trying to get a hold of a case worker.

The supervising CW was mad, she was 110% confident that the grandparents would get custody. So, now she does not want to disrupt my nephew, because the grandparents are going back to court in January and per her words "I just don't understand, they have to get custody". She keeps asking us to be patient w/ her.

This was her excuse in November to not move him here, was because it would just disrupt him for too short a period (even though we applied for relative placement prior to him being placed). Now, it's the same thing......we don't want to mvoe him from his current placement because it will just disrupt him for a short time frame.

Ummm.....oh many times are we going to use that excuse??????

Anyhow, this is what she told us yesterday. Then today the regular CW calls us. She tells us she wants to start setting up regular visits for my nephew w/ us. So this is their plan. He'll spend this coming Sun-Wed a.m. at his foster home. Spend Wed a.m. through Fri a.m. at his maternal grandparents home. Then come here fri in the morning through Sunday morning- then repeat again the following week.

How is that providing more stability and less interruption? That seems just crazy. The supervisor says it's not that she is not moving him here, she just wants to be patient w/ the case so let's start w/ overnight visits and go see what happens over the next few weeks.

Is this typical? It seems just off the wall crazy. I honestly am at the point I do not understand anymore what they are thinking.

[Boulderbabe]

I hate to tell you this, but....yes. This is totally insane. And yes. It is totally typical.

P.S. Seriously, not joking: it may be time to reconsider getting an attorney. This is damaging to the baby. Overnight visits in the same house as bmom?

[EAGLE6]

We have actually had 2 appts w/ different attorneys in mid-late Nov. Both were just content on having us file for custody and not dealing w/ foster care. These were supposed to be attorneys who practiced in the "foster care field".

I do actually have another appt Monday w/ 3rd one that we got recommended from my BIL's legal aid attorney who is representing my BIL in the custody battle. (BIL cannot get custody, he is in jail). We made this appt Thursday after they started feeding us that same old excuse again.

The call on Friday about the visits came as a total suprise. I just don't fee that bouncing my nephew between 3 homes is creating more stability.

[craftingmama]

I am sure that it is because typically grandparents do have first consideration when children are taken into care.

[EAGLE6]

I have absolutely no problem w/ the maternal grandparents- the judge does though.

There are 2 things against them at this moment. #1 being that biological mom lives w/ them. Realistically having the baby w/ her 24 hrs a day (even if he is in grandparents custody) does not give her much incentive to work her plan. #2 they have had CPS involvement in the past for possible physical abuse.

My problem is not understanding how come the CW's will not move him here because they are do not want to "disrupt" him too much while waiting for the custody hearings to payn out. However, bouncing him between 3 homes for overnight visits a week is a better solution to them.

We did not get to talk w/ the attorney we had set up to meet w/ today. Unfortunately the weather was so bad, and most everything was closed down due to travel bans. So, it looks like we are rescheduled for next week w/ him.

[jphollen]

Wow! That is a lot of bouncing around for the little guy. I would be concerned about the amount of confusion and instability that creates. Trying to transition him is one thing but yikes!

I wish you luck with your rescheduled atty appointment next week. I refuse to go back outside until the windchill factor is ABOVE freezing here...not likely anytime soon!

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by EAGLE6

I have absolutely no problem w/ the maternal grandparents- the judge does though.

There are 2 things against them at this moment. #1 being that biological mom lives w/ them. Realistically having the baby w/ her 24 hrs a day (even if he is in grandparents custody) does not give her much incentive to work her plan. #2 they have had CPS involvement in the past for possible physical abuse..

Wow---and you don't have anything against them having custody? I'd be livid that this baby was being sent for unsupervised visits with his birthmother, who could not keep him safe, and her parents, who apparently abuse children. That's a huge risk for this baby. Who on earth permitted unsupervised visitation with any of these people?

[Withay]

I gotta agree with BB. If baby was removed from moms care because she couldn't keep them safe, what makes anyone think that she would be safe in the grandparents home with her living there?

I would not want this child to be placed anywhere near any of them. I can sure see why the judge has a problem with them.

[EAGLE6]

I should clarify, on a personal level I do not have a problem. I'm very confused as to why the baby goes there for 2-3 consecutive days/overnights per week. The 2 supervising CW's absoultely love the maternal grandparents, they feel that their past involvement was a long time a go (I guess it was 9-10 yrs ago) and largely misunderstood. I do not know all the details, just that it's a roadblock for them. To the point, that is why they will not move him here, they are confident the grandparents should and will win custody.

I guess that is what I'm getting at- the whole thing is very, very confusing. So far the 2 attorneys we visited w/ only pushed filing for custody. My letters usually light a fire for about 48 hrs w/ CPS and that is it.

They make promise after promise and then just fail to follow through. I'm really hoping this next attorney can do something. I mean now we're to the point my nephew is spending 2-4 nights per week here. We passed all our background checks, and our homestudy. There is no valid reason to not move him. I honestly would think that if the judge knew she'd agree that there is no valid reason to not move him at this time.

Can I write a letter to the judge? Is that acceptable or not?

[Hadley2]

Were you at the hearing? If so, why did you not speak up?

I honestly think that if you'd gained entry to the hearing and had spoken up yourself or had representation there speaking for you, you'd have a court order in hand now, mandating ss to place him with you. Right now, placement seems to still be at the discretion of social services...I have to wonder if the judge even knows that the child actually spends any time, let alone unsupervised, at the grandparents' home. I really bet not. If he would not grant custody, I doubt he would knowingly approve unsupervised visits.

Custody is a separate thing from placement and visits, decided separately. The judge is hearing custody arguments, placement and visitation are probably still at the discretion of social services--the judge doesn't know where the child really is other than that there is an unrelated foster placement and wouldn't, unless one of the parties rocks the boat in the courtroom. They're not going to so you have to.

You can write a letter to the judge WITH COPIES TO ALL PARTIES. A letter only to the judge may get thrown out unread. Be sure that the letter specifically shows that it is copied and addressed properly to all parties. You will need to get the names and addresses of all the attorneys involved--dss and both parents. Then cc the "Atty XY representing AB" etc.

So sorry about your holiday plans. It sounds as if this little tyke really needs you. I hope it works out.

[mommy2fiveplus]

I agree w/Hadley.

You need to get yourself made a "party to the case" so that you can speak up and be heard. Judges are often clueless about many aspects of a child's care while in state custody. So many things are left to the discretion of CW and agencies that SW can have a huge impact on the progression of a case.

[Mommyofthreetobe]

Any new news? Did you get to see the baby for Christmas?

[EAGLE6]

We did not have him for Christmas, but we were allowed to pick him up first thing Friday morning and keep him the enitre weekend. This week we get him Wed-Sunday. Then to the foster home on Sunday and to his grandparents Monday for 3 nights after that.

We did get to talk to an attorney who is "making some calls". He said he was going to call the 2 attorney's representing each of the bio parents, and then the court advocate. However that was yesterday and no word back today. I asked if he'd be calling CPS, and he said No. He explained that he will file for hearing and deal w/ them via that method but not try to wheel-n-deal w/ them otherwise.

We did not go to the last hearing, as we did not think we were permitted. However, we believe we are going to retain this attorney and keeping our fingers crossed that this will get our nephew moved.

It is truly wonderful that we are getting him so many day's/nights a week. However, it's heartbreaking to watch him be bounced around so much, and that all needs to end ASAP.

We did find out from the foster mom that the baby is not going to the jail for visits because I guess my BIL requested he did not. The CW told me there was not going to be jail visits afterall, but did not tell me why. Though she must of told the foster mother. Someday, dh and I will go visit my BIL (I think), and I'll be curious to know if this was true.

[brighteyes810]

I have read these and some of your other posts. If, what you're saying is true, I would suggest you take further action. There are good, mediocre and bad CW's and supervisors. If they placed a child in foster care over a relative with no criminal history that is able to, as far as the CW's can tell, provide a safe and nurturing home, then the CW's are doing something really wrong.

Is there a CASA or GAL on the case? If not, why? You could call the local CASA office to inquire if they are able to assign a CASA to the case (I've seen others on this site have success with this).

I would go over the supervisor's head and go to their supervisor, or even higher than that if necessary. It isn't in the best interest of your nephew to be bounced from home to home and placed in foster care when the CW could place them with you. I also have to assume, since they are allowing extended visits, the CW's have no reason not to place him with you and couldn't find anything to disqualify you as a relative placement (and you should point this out if you contact others about this or write a letter to the judge). I have no idea why they would place him in foster care in the first place when you were offering to care for your nephew. Having visits to transition your nephew probably is a good thing for him, but the CW's aren't being consistent (I'm guessing they didn't have these lengthy visits before he was placed with them). It seems like they are stalling and dragging this out. Although, if they think he is soon going to a home other than yours, I could see why they wouldn't want to put him in your home and move him shortly after that. (He still should have been placed with you first it sounds like.)

You could try calling the Commissioner of Children and Family Services in your state (your public profile shows you're in NY). About the Commissioner - New York State Office of Children & Family Services If that doesn't work, you could also contact the Governor's office.

Sometimes being nice and amicable works well, other times it doesn't and, unfortunately, you need to take further action.

Writing a letter to the judge may work, but I don't know the rules in your state or if he/she would actually receive it. The judge hears so many cases that he can't possibly know even most of the details about each case before him/her. My guess is the judge doesn't know there are relative options.

I wish you luck and hope this all turns out well for your nephew. It is such a great thing that you care enough for your nephew to try to fight for him.

[Mommyofthreetobe]

Its honestly just crazy to me that this is all happening. I can understand why you are heartbroken watching it. You guys will stay in my prayers!!!