[yorkiegirl]

We were licensed in May got 2 boys on the same day.The parents were a mess from day one and we tried to explain to CW's.Its so bad no one will even go to the parents home, too many threats.I was supervising visits until a replacement -temporary- CW told me that was not my job, so another foster parent supervised visits but it was from then on a problem and CW treated us bad.


Parents demanded more and more visits and they got it, but that was more pressure on us driving 30 miles for whatever they wanted next.Then DFS decides we have to meet with them outside the office.We tried their home, our home and soon McDonalds which was a disaster with mom on something and turned over a table among worse things.


Finally with too much to write here, it was hurting these boys the way they were tossed to the wolves and we asked them to be moved, the parents were getting very seriously threatening.WE had zero support.They could not find anyone willing to take these kids, because of threats from parents , but they found someone in the next town.


We were told to help make a smooth transition which of course we would we LOVE these kids.The older one was crying going to the car, it killed me but I put up a front so he would see it was ok.The CW promised him Id be calling soon.We waited 3 days no phone number so I called his office he said he'd find it and get back to us.......nothing.So we went to our FP CW who licensed us, she said yes by all means you can call them Ill try to get a number.Nothing.

Days later they sat up a meeting to see if FPing was what we wanted to do so we brought it up.At first they told my husband we are not here to discuss those boys.Finally when I brought it up again we and the boys were lied to by the way they are only 2&9 yrs old, they said we dont want you to have any contact so they can bond with new parents.Those boys are still wanting to go home to your home and they must accept and bond with these new parents. I can deal with they need time.I cannot deal with them feeling abandoned by us.Waiting for us to call.Its almost Christmas and we had gifts picked out.We have been their only foster home,we are very bonded.


Also a secret meeting took place before they left and the new FP dont have to do nightly phone calls.They do half the amounts of visits, and no more going to parents house with a parent aide.All this we had to do, telling them its hard on the kids.


Now before we foster again they want us to repeat the entire class though we are licensed to foster and adopt.The classes wont start until spring 2009.They had hired in professionals to teach our class and say we werent taught right.So guess who has to re-do? Besides we have actually fostered 6 months -- we get it! Right now we are on hold.Any suggestions?

I am so hurt for these boys, the oldest understands whats going on but he'd never usnderstand us lying -which it must look like to him, we never called.The baby thinks Im his mom, we tried to keep it all stright for him but he insisted we were his parents.

[wellnow]

I don't have any advice but wanted to offer my prayers for everyone involved and lots and lots of HUGS!!!

[forever14230]

I'm so sorry. I can't believe they would make you repeat the entire course...I'd see about getting a "second opinion" on that one.

[yorkiegirl]

Thanks to you both for reading my long post.Im struggling here , missing those boys like crazy.

Im not going to repeat the course.

We were Good foster parents.Im not blowing my own horn, just reliving it all I guess.But we did very well.

We had a case that other CW's said they worried for our safety and we did it well.We had kids who were deemed hopeless, now anyone would love to have them.Im so very proud of these kids.But we were shut out because I would call DFS on their job, to help me help these kids.They didnt like me.I wasn't typical of the FP 's here.They are distant to the kids and best friends to the CW's.Which I wouldnt be here if I'd done as the Jones -so to speak.But I was in it for the kids.Im hurt and I am frustrated, the sysytem here is broken and broken badly

[Boulderbabe]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Mostly, I'm so sorry that this has happened to the boys. It's so sad---another loss in their lives, and it didn't need to happen.

[yorkiegirl]

It should have never happened.The parents called day night during the night, there was no life for us or the boys.Its wasnt to talk to the boys, it was to talk about off the wall weird stuff or complain about DFS.

The 2 yr old ended up in ER one night because on a home visit they -forgot- to do his breathing treatment, so I had him call his mommy the next day to know he was all better.He said mommy Im all better now , she said dont call me now Im napping -call when daddy is home to talk to you.

It;s all over now and I dont miss the threats , the nightly calls, the CW badgering me to get through to the parents because they cant approach them.I dont. But I sure do miss those kiddo's

[wellnow]

The 2 yr old ended up in ER one night because on a home visit they -forgot- to do his breathing treatment, so I had him call his mommy the next day to know he was all better.He said mommy Im all better now , she said dont call me now Im napping -call when daddy is home to talk to you.

WOW...that is horrible!!

This is truly sad that you all are going through this and that the CW can be so cruel and vindictive....you did your best with the kids and you know it, they know it and God definitely knows it!!!

[yorkiegirl]

Thank you.We truly had our hearts in the right place.Its over and done, I just had to get it out its only been a week and a few days , its still raw and hurts.

[CaddoRose]

I'm so sorry your experience was so terrible. I can't imagine being put in the position of having to supervise visits with parents that are that crazy, especially when you kept requesting so much help. I don't know about you, but in all my classes there was never any class about hoe to care for the parents. My classes are all about how to care for the kids and that is what I do.

I'm lucky that my present Fkids have good parents and I can have conversations with them, but CPS would never ask me to supervise a visit at their home. I sounds like CPS didn't do their job and now is blaming you. How special. Is it possible for you to go with an agency instead of DFS?

[yorkiegirl]

I dont know of any agencies here.Im in a small town in Missouri where 2 counties sort of link together but we cant switch CW, plus the fact they stay on the phone talking about foster parents all day.I have heard some crude comments made about really caring foster parents.

I told them I had not been trained to supervise the mentally ill, and they said I need to repeat the entire clases!!

[fredalina]

OMG i am so sorry that happened to you, and to those boys! i have no idea what to say, but i do have a question. Do they want all of the foster parents who went through the classes when you did to re-take them? If so, it could truly be a matter of "they didn't train people right", but if they are only saying this to you as a means of punishment or weeding you out or who knows what, they might be putting themselves in legal trouble.

At any rate, ((hugs))!

[yorkiegirl]

They said our class.But as far as we know none have fostered yet, but us.One couple has already adopted!! But the others last time I spoke with them had not actually fostered, so I do believe we were singled out, yes.

[Biblemom]

I doesn't make sense that you should have to take the classes over for the reasons you posted. If those are the only reasons I would start calling up the supervisory chain. Call the regional director if you need to.

[yorkiegirl]

I promise these are the only reasons what so ever.We have never been questioned or accused of being less than good foster parents.Other foster parents have told us we went above and beyond the call of duty for these people, ethy wouldnt have.So to say the least its shocking and it hurts.I felt maybe DFS is afraid, we'd cause them a stir so they were taking a step to say we werent trained well and they did the best they could for us.

[chevyjewel]

Originally Posted by Biblemom

I doesn't make sense that you should have to take the classes over for the reasons you posted. If those are the only reasons I would start calling up the supervisory chain. Call the regional director if you need to.

I agree.

I'd start with the CW's supervisor and go up from there if need be because it just doesn't make sense.