[stevenstwin]

Interesting and upsetting event here. Quick back story - I know the foster mom in question, and she's a little odd. My mom used to teach this woman's daughter - "Daisy" was the youngest child and had 5 older brothers. REAL tom-boy, but mom insisted on dressing her up in frilly dresses and fancy hairdos. Mom would then WATCH the playground from her house with a pair of binoculars, and call the school to complain if the supervising teacher let Daisy play rough and mess up her clothes!! Anyway, fast forward quite a number of years. My friends JJ and Lorie are in the process of adopting. JJ is Native, and "Donny", the little boy they are adopting, is a distant cousin. Which makes it pretty much a slam dunk, and it's just the time involved in completing the training and home-study and what not. Daisy's mom is Donny's foster parent, and she's had him about 6 months. He gets frequent weekends with JJ and Lorie (who live a 4 hour drive away). The often buy him things, but that's neither here nor there. The ISSUE is that Donny wanted to play hockey. First off, foster mom isn't willing to do the driving. It is a LOT of driving. So the province is willing to supply an "aboriginal connections worker" to pick Donny up and take him to and from all games and practices. Next is the issue of money. Now, the province gives a recreation amount of about $600 a year, but that isn't really enough to get a kid into hockey, which with fees and equipment is about $1000 a season. And the foster mom isn't willing to put in any of her monthly stipend toward this (she gets $56/day for Donny - so you can do the math). But again, not a problem. She doesn't HAVE to do any such thing. So JJ and Lorie give her $500 to buy Donny's equipment. A few weeks later, Donny comes to visit - he's not playing hockey. JJ phones the foster mom, and here's her answer............................................ .......... HE NEEDED CLOTHES AND SCHOOL SUPPLIES, SO THAT'S WHAT I SPENT THE MONEY ON!!!!!

[Biblemom]

I hope they made the CW aware. If they sent her money for hockey that is what it should be spent on or it should be returned. The foster parent is responsible for buying clothes etc from their monthly stipend.

[melissa_bear003]

Holy Hannah.

I just don't even have the words.

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

Interesting and upsetting event here. Quick back story - I know the foster mom in question, and she's a little odd. My mom used to teach this woman's daughter - "Daisy" was the youngest child and had 5 older brothers. REAL tom-boy, but mom insisted on dressing her up in frilly dresses and fancy hairdos. Mom would then WATCH the playground from her house with a pair of binoculars, and call the school to complain if the supervising teacher let Daisy play rough and mess up her clothes!! Anyway, fast forward quite a number of years. My friends JJ and Lorie are in the process of adopting. JJ is Native, and "Donny", the little boy they are adopting, is a distant cousin. Which makes it pretty much a slam dunk, and it's just the time involved in completing the training and home-study and what not. Daisy's mom is Donny's foster parent, and she's had him about 6 months. He gets frequent weekends with JJ and Lorie (who live a 4 hour drive away). The often buy him things, but that's neither here nor there. The ISSUE is that Donny wanted to play hockey. First off, foster mom isn't willing to do the driving. It is a LOT of driving. So the province is willing to supply an "aboriginal connections worker" to pick Donny up and take him to and from all games and practices. Next is the issue of money. Now, the province gives a recreation amount of about $600 a year, but that isn't really enough to get a kid into hockey, which with fees and equipment is about $1000 a season. And the foster mom isn't willing to put in any of her monthly stipend toward this (she gets $56/day for Donny - so you can do the math). But again, not a problem. She doesn't HAVE to do any such thing. So JJ and Lorie give her $500 to buy Donny's equipment. A few weeks later, Donny comes to visit - he's not playing hockey. JJ phones the foster mom, and here's her answer............................................ .......... HE NEEDED CLOTHES AND SCHOOL SUPPLIES, SO THAT'S WHAT I SPENT THE MONEY ON!!!!!

Oh my word....I'd be ready to lose my religion over this. Just kidding. But I'd be furious to say the least. I'd be tempted to see what a lawyer thought about it...

[waited2long]

Wow!! I can't imagine somebody doing that... Did she think nobody would mind?

I hope the adoptive parents can get their licensing 'sped' up!!

[potentialsinglemom]

Originally Posted by waited2long

Wow!! I can't imagine somebody doing that... Did she think nobody would mind?

I hope the adoptive parents can get their licensing 'sped' up!!

Congratulations and Happy Nine months!!!

[potentialsinglemom]

That is sad...I hope they get the support of the caseworkers in this case. Was FM even supposed to accept money from you friends in the first place?

[vegaschristina]

WOW! I have no words.

[devildogwife]

Wow. I don't even really have any words either.

[waited2long]

Originally Posted by potentialsinglemom

Congratulations and Happy Nine months!!!

Thank you! I am really happy and hopeful!!!

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by waited2long

Thank you! I am really happy and hopeful!!!

Wow - I totally missed that! Congratulations!!! All my fingers and toes crossed for you!! :-)

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by Biblemom

I hope they made the CW aware. If they sent her money for hockey that is what it should be spent on or it should be returned. The foster parent is responsible for buying clothes etc from their monthly stipend.

Their decision (not sure if I agree with it, but I understand it) is to not rock the boat in any way, until their son is home with them - THEN they're going to write a letter with all their grievances.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by potentialsinglemom

That is sad...I hope they get the support of the caseworkers in this case. Was FM even supposed to accept money from you friends in the first place?

I never thought of that. I can't see why it would be "against" regulations to pay for his hockey, but perhaps ..... and that might be part of the reason they don't want to pursue a complaint at this time?? I don't know. I know they FEEL she's misused funds in the past by no providing as much as she should, but that is so hard to judge that I don't want to wade in on that. It DOES seem, though, that since she knows they're adopting she's willing to let them provide for him - and it must be hard for them to resist, since he is a family member and they have known him since birth.

[waited2long]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

Wow - I totally missed that! Congratulations!!! All my fingers and toes crossed for you!! :-)

Thank you!!

I really do hope your friends can expedite their licensing and I completely understand them not wanting to 'rock the boat'.

[sparkle1908]

Originally Posted by waited2long

Thank you!!

I really do hope your friends can expedite their licensing and I completely understand them not wanting to 'rock the boat'.

I understand as well but I'd rather say something now rather than later...if they wait until after they are licensed, the CW could be like "well why didn't you tell me then?"...at least it would be out there....

And congratulations as well...I hope everything goes well for you!!