[forever14230]

You've received some excellent advice already, but I'll throw in my 2 cents. I would let all communication with the bio family go through your CW. That way if they have a request that you can't accomodate, your fs's CW can handle things. If you don't think the picture issue is going to be resolved, see if you can make an appt and have your fs's picture taken in a cute outfit. If you don't have the time to have it professionally done, take the pics yourself and put a few in a Christmas card that can be given to the family. I took some really cute pics of my oldest son when he was that age...he really loved the camera and was a total ham.

Don't feel guilty and don't let other peoples comments make you feel like you did anything wrong by asking for help. You did what you had to do. (((Hugs)))

[EandDmom]

I'm just going to set my fkids in front of our tree in some cute outfits and take pics and maybe the best one I'll go ahead and make an 8x10 of it and give that to their mom. If you do digital and you take it to a walmart, cvs, walgreens etc. whatever has a digital machine you can make an 8x10 for around $4.

[fredalina]

Doing the pics yourself (or a friend/family member who is really good with a camera) is a GREAT idea, and might be a good compromise so you don't lose ground you just gained in all of this, but the birthmom will have photos of the baby at his first Christmas time and nearing his first birthday. Love it!

[jbee]

i have found taking them outside on an overcast day works best.
i have been taking all my kids' myself for a few years now and they are just as good, if not better than professional. i have a 5mp camera, and i just upload them to walmart.com (you can even get packages, like in the real store) and pick them up there.
i like doing it myself also because you can take as many as you need and sort through to find the best one on your own time. also, no crankiness at the mall, impatient photographers, etc.
i think it would be great of you to send bmom some pics through the cw no matter where you get them done. i'm sure it will mean so much to her even if they are not exactly what she would have done.

[greenrobin]

Why on earth would you feel guilty about the sw telling the family to knock off the drama? If they are trying to power play, then they needed to hear it. You aren't their employee! And, yes, I"ve have biomom treat me that way in the past.

Their reaction could also be a power play, new tactic. Who knows? And I'd be a little curious about the remark of gma being a former foster parent..........

Maybe I'm just getting cynical in my dotage!

Either way, everyone knows where everyone stands. And that's good.

[athikers]

At least here, it is not breaking a law by meeting your kids bios somewhere. Certainly, notify the social worker first. Most kids bios don't have OFP's against them, that would be the only way it is breaking a court order. I'm not saying meet them without sw knowledge. But, its okay to meet them. We met my kids bios at doctors appointments and other things many, many, many times last year. Make sure you just fine out what is acceptable to your worker in addition to what you are comfortable with

[thelowlanders]

K- that's exactly what I was attempting to post. Thanks

RavenS- The games on this one were having visit co. give me a card from "Sears prtrt studio" w/ 2 numbers on it. Said they both were direct lines to the ladies she (bmom) talked with. To call those numbers and make appt. The #'s were her mother in law, and other fam. member. They now have us on caller ID and can simply look us up. Looking at their past I guess, the CW was quite concerned when she heard the #'s on the card. So....I think it's safest to only go through her now. No notes, requests, complaints, anything until further notice.

I think I was caught up yesterday in feeling bad for them. I didn't realize the CW didn't intend to actually take them to an appt. So I will take pics in her special outfit and hopefully she will find it satisfactory.

The ex foster mom thing is wierd w/ the gma huh? This is the mother of the dad who was so abused he can't hardly function I'm told. Don't know the whole story, but kinda disturbing to think of upset foster children in the midst of his childhood w/him. **sigh**

Yes, I should just be thankful that our family's safety is finally being considered. Bmom seems on the right track and will have him as soon as she can. Then she will have lots of fun doing milestone things w/ him.

[CaddoRose]

I agree with GreenRobin. This sounds like more games. I'm sure that there is some truth in what was said by them. I think it's important for you to understand that unless the CW was in the room and can verify what the Mom and Gmom said, then it is entirely possible that they made it sound worse than it really is. I'm glad your CW told them to knock off the games. I would also question the validity of the foster parent comment from the Gmom.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by athikers

At least here, it is not breaking a law by meeting your kids bios somewhere. Certainly, notify the social worker first. Most kids bios don't have OFP's against them, that would be the only way it is breaking a court order. I'm not saying meet them without sw knowledge. But, its okay to meet them. We met my kids bios at doctors appointments and other

Here, any unauthorized contact with the biofamily at all will make DSS remove the child and revoke your license. We can meet bioparents away from DSS, but only with a social worker supervising and with the full knowledge and permission of DSS.

[Hadley2]

Thank you, BB. Athikers, I meant what BB said. My post said, "You cannot schedule an unauthorized visit." The op had already said that she thought the cw had specifically said no to this particular visit, that is why I felt the need to jump in and caution against the advice of the other poster who may not have caught those points when she said to meet them at Sears. lowlanders, I hope your children will find their lives much simplified by the new and more clear boundaries and that the mother actually is then left with a little more time and space to work her caseplan. Sometimes we all need a little structure to lift us up and out of a pointless and damaging struggle--and that can actually be a relief for the parent as well.

[potentialsinglemom]

Originally Posted by EandDmom

I'm just going to set my fkids in front of our tree in some cute outfits and take pics and maybe the best one I'll go ahead and make an 8x10 of it and give that to their mom. If you do digital and you take it to a walmart, cvs, walgreens etc. whatever has a digital machine you can make an 8x10 for around $4.

This is a great Idea. And, the Christmas morning pictures as ALWAYS priceless. To see their little faces while they open their gifts should make the parents smile more than some old stiff portrait from Sears. Another suggestion is to video the children at play or opening their gifts.

NOTE:
Just make sure that you don't have any signs in it that would allow them to locate your home, for instance taking vids or pics in front of your home or from inside your home looking out a window that can identify your neighbors' homes.