[fredalina]

This may vary by state/agency but in TN they require the child to receive $30 per month in allowance (which i completely agree with). My question is, what is the allowance supposed to pay for?

The girl i mentored in foster care (age 12 and was a private agency placement due to behavioral issues and having been in a group home setting for 6 months) was told by her foster mother that if she wanted clothing outside of the annual allowance or whatever that she was to spend her allowance on it. Now, i understand that things like accessories (earrings, makeup, stuff like that for a 12 year old) may fall under allowance, but i don't think she should have to pay for her clothes herself. Also she had to buy her tampons from the dollar store with her allowance.

Are there guidelines for these sorts of things? Just curious. Not trying to raise a stink or anything but there were a few things about her allowance i found odd. Also, are you asked to pay allowance daily, weekly, or monthly?

[jbee]

we aren't required to, but give fs 16 10 a week, which is what he was getting at his old fhome. however, we deduct from it if he does not wake up on time on his own, does not brush his teeth, shower, etc. he can buy whatever with it. we will buy basic clothing and needs but if he wants special brand name stuff, fancy sneakers, fancy deodorant and cologne it is his deal.
the other two have jobs (well, one got fired, but...) and they also get the same treatment as to what we will buy. if they want to order a pizza or buy trendy stuff it is their responsibility. as of now the one without a job (who is not trying to hard to get one) does not get allowance. he is too old at 18 in my book.
our bios/adopted son get basic things too, anything with a name brand comes from a thrift shop, yard sale, or as a gift from family.

[melissa_bear003]

I know here that an allowance is mandatory once fc are of a certain age...6 maybe? And you are NOT allowed to deduct from it for any reason at all.

I think if a child wants a pair of $60 jeans, then absolutely they should save their allowance. Or other items that would be normally out of budget range for. Tampons, no.

That being said, I don't believe in allowances, period. None of my bios have ever had it. Tried it once, at my husband's insistance, and it turned into, "Do I get paid for this?" every time we asked a kid to help out with anything. End of allowance.

Dunno how we'll manage that one...but we've got a while before figuring it out

[fredalina]

i don't think this girl owned a name brand clothing item in her life. i just remember her saying her shirts don't fit anymore (probably because puberty had recently struck) and she needed some new shirts, and prowling the $5 rack at Wal-Mart with her so she could afford 2 shirts and still buy some lip gloss. So we're not talking $60 blue jeans or fancy sneakers. i really do mean this to be general, though, and not about that one girl, but it did prompt the question. The only time i ever saw her with new clothing (she had a few outfits i learned quickly) was when she bought it on our outings together with her allowance. With her other comments, too, i suspect she didn't have any clothes paid for from her normal stipend. Most of what she bought with allowance was normal pre-teen allowance stuff (lip gloss, earrings, hair do-hickey), but the shirts because the others were too small and the dollar store tampons really stuck with me.

[craftingmama]

well, i'm not fostering to 'get rich quick'. haha. I don't believe they should purchase their own clothing or tampons. heck, i'd even buy them lipgloss, etc. course, our last FD we took adn bought all kinds of art supplies because she enjoyed it and i wanted her to have her own things to call her own. she could share with my dd, but i felt she should have soemthing of her own to take with her. not a biggie. the money that we are paid for a daily stipend we feel should be spent on the child.

[waited2long]

I believe it's a law in NV also, that a child recieves a specific amount in allowance and that the child get's that set amount, no matter what.

I believe personal hygiene items like tampons should be supplied by the Foster Parents, also a fair wardrobe, footwear and outerwear.

As others said, if a child wants a particular pair of shoes or pants, I don't see anything wrong with the child paying for it. But the basics should be supplied, that is what the monthly stipend is for.

[AmyAnne]

My son's needs are met by me. Clothing, food, medical, shampoo, etc. Now.... that doesn't mean I'll get him everything his heart desires. If I am at the grocery and he wants potato chips and they're not something I budgeted for that week? He may buy them with his allowance. If he decides he must have these shoes, but already has 3 pair of sneakers that fit, he's welcome to save his allowance for the pair of shoes. We do not believe in buying movies to own, so those he also must purchase with allowance. We'll pay to go to the movie, but not for stuff from the concession stand or video games. If we're willing to spend $10 on a gift for his buddy's birthday party, he can find something in the $10 range, or kick in the extra money above $10 to buy the gift.

He also is charged allowance for doing wasteful things or destroying property. (Pours my shampoo down the drain, he's buying a new bottle. Takes the last slice of pizza, takes one bite and throws it out so nobody else can have it? $1 for wasting food. Goes out and leaves the front door wide open for 20 minutes? $1 to the heating bill)

[craftingmama]

i agree to a point about name brand clothing, etc. though i treat my foster kids like mine. i am willing to go to certain name brand stores for sales and clearance for my kids, not full price. i do the same for foster kids. if my kids want something beyond that price they pay for it, same for fosters. if i buy my dd new earrings i'd do it for a foster child. and NO WAY on earth would i only spend the bday and christmas allotment ONLY on the foster child. In our state it is a very low amount. when i take a child in, it's with the expectation i'll treat them as my own. i spend on them for those occassions what i'd spend on my own kids.

[mamallama]

I agree with the previous poster that said that foster parents should cover personal hygiene items, a wardrobe that fits, proper footwear, etc. I feel like allowance should be used items wanted not items needed, does that make sense? If my daughter wanted a new pair of designer jeans and she had three perfectly good pairs, then she would be expected to use her allowance to purchase them. When I was a kid I used my allowance for movie tickets, toys, candy, presents and special items like a new pair of earrings or a purse for myself. I think learning how to manage money is important and I believe that allowance can be a great teaching tool.

[Christians-Mommy]

The ones I usually take are to young for allowance but here is how we would handle it.

Basic wardrobe, hygenie supplys, some accessories all supplied. My parents when we were teens gave us a certain allotment at back to school time and summer to buy clothes, supplys etc. We were in charge of what we bought with the money. I bought fewer new clothes and accesories and my sister bought more clothes at the thrift store and other items. I feel that teaches personal responsibility in your spending habits.

Allowance 30-40 a month and that would buy anything you wanted that wasn't "needed" i.e. new clothes when you don't need them, movies with your friends, fast food if not a family dinner, video or computer games etc.

[stevenstwin]

We were required to give 10 dollars a week free spending money - no strings attached. The only part I did NOT agree with was that we couldn't with-hold it (even temporarily) for disciplinary reasons. I do for my bio kids, and thought it unfair it should be any different for FS -especially when the disciplinary issue involved how he used the money. So I'll confess - HE didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that, so I did it anyway. Related to that, we also weren't allowed to set ANY rules on what he did with money earned at his job--- even after he spent $800 in 20 minutes at Zellers. I strongly disagree with that.

[athikers]

We weren't required to give allowance. Our foster daughter was paid to do chores (just as our kids will be). If she chose not to do her chores, she didn't get paid. Her chores we simple. Make your bed, pick up your toys, help set the table, do your homework (she was 10). She could earn extra money doing extra chores. She could also get stuck "paying" me if I had to fix a hole she kicked in the wall or some nicety like that. All of our other kids have been VERY young, so they don't do chores!

She used her money to get toys. She had lots of toys but wanted every single one of a CERTAIN toy... which we thought was a bit over the top, so she used her allowance for that. Similiar to Amy, if she wanted a treat (a candy bar in the check out line) she could buy it if she had money to spend.

[potentialsinglemom]

Here, it is 5 dollars a week. If the child is not of age to understand money, we are supposed open a bank account for the child and we have to submit a form monthly along with deposit slip. If the child has an understanding, we are supposed to open an account and when child undeserving of an allowance in hand for that week, we deposit the funds in there. The childen are supposed to sign for their allowance.

Personally, I will be putting money in their accounts and giving allowances.

If I give a five year old $5, I expect him/her to want to buy junk whenever we go to Wal-mart. No biggie! I see it as a chance for a learning experience for them...rationale/problem-solving, mathematical, budgeting

[DoYaReallyThink]

We are not required to give an allowance. Our girls have the option of EARNING $10 a week. They have a simple chore that they are required to do three times a week (swiffer the floor). They do kids choice meal planning and assist in cooking on Saturdays which it has to be a balanced meal. They receive points for showering, being easy going, brushing teeth, putting their clothes away, homework, making beds and keeping their room clean. They can receive extra points taking responsiblilty, being kind to others, an extra chore that they volunteer for, setting the table and sharing with others. THEN we deduct points for arguing both with us or their sister, being mean to others, leaving electric on, clothes on their floor, leaving messes, back talking, not accepting directions, not flushing the toilet, wasting food and slamming doors or items. We made sure that their points equaled way over the required amount to get the $10 since their chores aren't on the point system but I will deduct $2.50 if they would refuse to the chore. 100 points are needed for $10 and they have rarely gotten that amount. But we have it on a sheet where they can track how they are doing and we mark down when they have behavior that is not appropriate. It is really working for us all and I am now using our chart for a way to keep track of their behaviors.

Fran

[dakotabluebaby]

fredalina,

I agree that something seems amiss. Could you maybe ask her CW in a confused state, "Its funny I always remember allowance going towards fun stuff, but ____ bought dollar store tampons with hers," and then later , "come to think of it she's had to by walmart clothes for herself so they fit,"

Then its a question, not an accusation....if that makes sense. But something needs to be said.