[Withay]

Thank you so much for clarifying what a typical day is for a cw. I believe that so many times we, as foster parents, can forget that we are not the only family that the cw has to work with.

Good luck on your journey.

[SadieBella]

You are welcome! Don't get me wrong, I am not defending all workers....like any other profession, there are definitley some people that shouldn't be there.
But I can honestly say that the overwhelming majority are in this for the right reasons and genuinely care about improving the lives of these children. Believe me, you don't choose this profession to get rich!
It's nice to see your post- I am new to this forum and obvioulsy have a unique perspective. I am somewhat shocked to see/hear about all of the negative posts about experiences with social workers on here! I just encourage people to have realistic expectations of their worker...that doesn't mean not to hold them accountable, either. Just understand what all is on their plate and appreciate the fact that we really do care and do the very best that we can with limited resources.
Again, thanks for your post and good luck to you!

[Boulderbabe]

SadieBella,

I definitely understand that social workers have a great deal to do, and must do so with limited time and resources.

I hope you'll understand that foster parents also have a lot on their plates. Many of us work full time jobs in addition to fostering. Fostering requires much more time and labor than regular parenting, because it means not only caring for high needs kids, but managing DSS's administrative burden as well. We are given a pitiful sum of money to cover the kids' expenses, and put out our own money to get them what they need.

Common courtesy and an understanding that the other person may not be immediately available would go a long way on both sides.

[KelleyF]

Well I finally got her e-mail adress and send her an e-mail about how my fs's visit went. She was very quick to respond and thought e-mailing was a great idea. She even sent me another one the next day just to give me a little update which I probably wouldn't have gotten a call about.

[DoYaReallyThink]

Originally Posted by mom2fabtwins

I totally agree with singlemom619 - I want it in writing. I got a business card with email with my first placement and ask for it with every placement. We use first initials only, for confidentiality. I email at least twice a week. I have had to pull up previous emails for reference quite often. Sometime it really helps to make a point.

If I wait for the phone to ring I would go CRAZY and REALLY OLD lol!

What do you do when the kiddos have the same exact initials? Maybe she will understand Big K and Little K?

I did do one email to CW re: Big K. I am going to start doing this after visits with bio dad.

[SadieBella]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

SadieBella,

I definitely understand that social workers have a great deal to do, and must do so with limited time and resources.

I hope you'll understand that foster parents also have a lot on their plates. Many of us work full time jobs in addition to fostering. Fostering requires much more time and labor than regular parenting, because it means not only caring for high needs kids, but managing DSS's administrative burden as well. We are given a pitiful sum of money to cover the kids' expenses, and put out our own money to get them what they need.

Common courtesy and an understanding that the other person may not be immediately available would go a long way on both sides.

Boulderbabe,
As I mentioned in a previous post, it is very clear to me that you are unhappy with "the system" and the workers within it. Like workers, foster parents become jaded and burnt out, and I congratulate you for recognizing the signs and taking time away from fostering. The system is a wreck and can be very frustrating- believe me, I know! But the constant negativsm and criticism gets old...I wish you luck on your journey and appreciate the time that you have given to fostering abused and neglected children.

[SadieBella]

That's great, Kelly F! Glad to hear you got a quick response! All the best to you!

[mom2fabtwins]

Originally Posted by DoYaReallyThink

What do you do when the kiddos have the same exact initials? Maybe she will understand Big K and Little K?

I did do one email to CW re: Big K. I am going to start doing this after visits with bio dad.

I have used middle initials, or big/little, girl/boy. I did have 2 placements with the same initials and 2 different CW. I sometime messed myself up in emails and had to check who I was emailing to keep it straight.

on the funny yet not so funny side. I have one CW who constantly puts full names (first and last) in the emails she sends me (work email). I respond with the names removed and initials bolded to make my point. Maybe her +25 years are catching up to her...rumor has it she will retire in July.(Fingers crossed!)

[Boulderbabe]

Kelly, I'm so glad you worked this means of communication out! It's great, since it lets the SW answer when she's got time, and it leaves a very nice documentary record.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by SadieBella

Boulderbabe,
As I mentioned in a previous post, it is very clear to me that you are unhappy with "the system" and the workers within it. Like workers, foster parents become jaded and burnt out, and I congratulate you for recognizing the signs and taking time away from fostering.

Sadie,

You're missing the point. The problem isn't with me. The problem is with a system that isn't valuing the incredible resources it has. I'm not the person who is having issues. Social workers who treat foster parents without common courtesy and respect are the ones who have issues---because you're losing the very people who can heal kids.

I find it very interesting that you're continually seeking to pathologize foster parents, without taking much responsibility for a broken system. Pretending that none of foster parents' criticisms are valid or worth listening to is the number one issue that drives quality foster parents out of the system.

I would congratulate you for listening respectfully, but instead, I think you're being both patronizing and defensive. That's both inappropriate and unhelpful. Perhaps you might benefit from realizing that people here have valid and important things to say, instead of dismissing them. That would result in dramatic improvements to the system, and to outcomes for kids.

[SadieBella]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

Sadie,

You're missing the point. The problem isn't with me. The problem is with a system that isn't valuing the incredible resources it has. I'm not the person who is having issues. Social workers who treat foster parents without common courtesy and respect are the ones who have issues---because you're losing the very people who can heal kids.

I find it very interesting that you're continually seeking to pathologize foster parents, without taking much responsibility for a broken system. Pretending that none of foster parents' criticisms are valid or worth listening to is the number one issue that drives quality foster parents out of the system.

I would congratulate you for listening respectfully, but instead, I think you're being both patronizing and defensive. That's both inappropriate and unhelpful. Perhaps you might benefit from realizing that people here have valid and important things to say, instead of dismissing them. That would result in dramatic improvements to the system, and to outcomes for kids.

Let's just agree to disagree. For the record, I take ZERO responsibility for the broken system- that would be a societal and legislative issue. I simply work within it, do my best every day within the parameters established by law. That has been my issue with your comments form the start- you are barking up the wrong tree, lady.
Please do not assume that I do not listen to others- I pride myself on having an excellent relationship with my foster parents and will and have gone to the wall for them. I empathize with many on this forum as well and certainly recognize the struggles that they experience and know that I am about to have the same struggles. Rest assured, I realize that others have "valid and important things to say"...you just aren't one of them. Your venom is and negativity is simply not helpful or productive, in my opinion.
Let's just agree to disagree.

[jphollen]

I email my cw a lot! Weird thing at school-email, Strange behavior after visit-email etc. I call when it's more urgent or there is a time constraint. I do have her cell phone and I use it (I try to use it sparingly) basically because she is in the field more than the office. Our agency serves 3 large rural counties and they are rarely in their office and leaving a message may mean you get a call back a lot later than a quick message on their cell. I don't generally email about the visits because our cw doesn't often do them herself (think she does 1 per month) a case aid does the rest. By the time cw gets a chance to talk to the case aid about one visit it's time for the next one. She does let me know right away if there was something "yucky."

MY PERSONAL OPINION...& Welcome Sadie
I have had case workers who restrict their cell number. This sends a fairly negative message that they can't be bothered in my opinion. (my current cw is free with her # by the way )

I totally see that cw are swapped. Some have such heavy case loads, I don't know how they cope. Some fail to see that we have the kids (granted not as many as they are responsible for ) all day everyday. Some of us have more than one foster child, some of us have bios as well and some of us have specialized foster placements. We can speak well to busy too! Most of us in my opinion just want a level of understanding about how busy we are too. I think most of them get it.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by SadieBella

For the record, I take ZERO responsibility for the broken system- that would be a societal and legislative issue.

You don't think that any of the issues that people have raised about how they are treated by SWs here are valid? Not a single one of them has anything to do with social workers and how they treat foster parents?

Social workers don't have any responsibility for showing up to meetings on time, keeping foster parents informed, respecting foster parents' time or their feelings? That's all a legislative issue?

Rest assured, I realize that others have "valid and important things to say"...you just aren't one of them.

Is this typical of how you treat any foster parent who has a valid complaint? With personal attacks?

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by SadieBella

Let's just agree to disagree.

I won't "agree to disagree" about anything that hurts kids or foster families. I will never, ever be quiet about things that cause bad outcomes for children. Ever.

[SadieBella]

Originally Posted by jphollen

I email my cw a lot! Weird thing at school-email, Strange behavior after visit-email etc. I call when it's more urgent or there is a time constraint. I do have her cell phone and I use it (I try to use it sparingly) basically because she is in the field more than the office. Our agency serves 3 large rural counties and they are rarely in their office and leaving a message may mean you get a call back a lot later than a quick message on their cell. I don't generally email about the visits because our cw doesn't often do them herself (think she does 1 per month) a case aid does the rest. By the time cw gets a chance to talk to the case aid about one visit it's time for the next one. She does let me know right away if there was something "yucky."

MY PERSONAL OPINION...& Welcome Sadie
I have had case workers who restrict their cell number. This sends a fairly negative message that they can't be bothered in my opinion. (my current cw is free with her # by the way )

I totally see that cw are swapped. Some have such heavy case loads, I don't know how they cope. Some fail to see that we have the kids (granted not as many as they are responsible for ) all day everyday. Some of us have more than one foster child, some of us have bios as well and some of us have specialized foster placements. We can speak well to busy too! Most of us in my opinion just want a level of understanding about how busy we are too. I think most of them get it.

Thanks for the "welcome"! Really...thanks.
I agree, like anything in life, respect is something that is vital for a relationship to work. I think that we tend to get so caught up in our own busy lives sometimes and forget this! The fact that caseworkers are swamped certainly does not excuse rudeness or unprofessional behavior. My previous posts were more or less a plea to individuals not to get on the bandwagon that all caseworkers are these three-headed monsters that are responsible for the system's flaws! I'm glad to hear that you feel that most of them are doing a good job! It really can be a thankless job, and it is difficult for me to see the field/job gets repeatedly slammed on here by some. Constructive criticism can be helpful, but geeze, blanket statements and pointing fingers is not!
Again, thanks for the welcome- first one I have had and only started posting here less than 24 hours ago!
Have a good night!