[blubutterflies03]

In an attempt to let the social worker know how the visit at the rehab went with BABY B last week, I belted out a question if the birthmom really completed her last rehab because that is what the birthmom told me. She went off on a PASS, got arrested came back and tested positive. So , WE all know what happened and in fairy godmother land she tells me it says completed on her paperwork. Well, with a very long moment of silence the social worker tells me I can only answer questions about the baby, not the mom. I felt like a complete fool, and should of known better. I apologized for asking the question and jumped into telling her how the visit went. Everything seemed great after, but I sure felt dumn. I know better and I still did it, and to a new social worke at that!!! I am going to make sure and do a very good deed to make up for my stupidity!!

[chevyjewel]

Not sure where you're at but in my state we are notified of exactly where moms are at in their treatment. If treatment is going well, what roadblocks are coming up, if UA's aren't being passed, if they've passed etc. in addition to most moms sharing that info with me themselves during visitation pick up and drop offs (typically many are quite proud to report their progress to me because they know I'll celebrate it with them, many have also shared when they've been struggling).

I'm allowed to ask whatever questions I want and I'm sure if my kids workers weren't supposed to disclose that info they wouldn't. I've worked with lots of workers from my county and I haven't had one yet tell me they couldn't answer one of my questions.


That said we have to sign confidentiality agreements that state WE can't share any of the information we learn about the parents, situation or kiddos with anyone else. Not even close family or friends. What you shared above we'd likely lose our license for sharing. Too many details. There may not be any identifying info with it but they are details involved with an open case and that'd be a big no-no.

[Boulderbabe]

Blubutterflies,

I always ask those kind of questions. I figure if the SW doesn't want to answer she doesn't have to, but I'm going to ask whatever I need to know about what is going on with the case.

You can get some very interesting bits of information with this technique....

[mrstkg1]

I feel the same, they can always decline to answer. I never apologize, I figure they ask me their fair share of goofups too, like, Would I mind to transport for visits every Saturday from now on, or Would I mind being the 3-rd party supervisor at the bios home in another town, at night, alone with 4 little kids when there is a history of violence, or Could I take a sibling set of 5 on Christmas Eve for 1-week, and I'm sure there are lots of others, lol.

Also, now I have never been known to do this, but you can ask questions in a little craftier way like, "wow, I can't believe Mom busted out of rehab and came back positive, that's a shame," Usually they will set you straight especially if you are way off. ; )

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by blubutterflies03

In an attempt to let the social worker know how the visit at the rehab went with BABY B last week, I belted out a question if the birthmom really completed her last rehab because that is what the birthmom told me. She went off on a PASS, got arrested came back and tested positive. So , WE all know what happened and in fairy godmother land she tells me it says completed on her paperwork. Well, with a very long moment of silence the social worker tells me I can only answer questions about the baby, not the mom. I felt like a complete fool, and should of known better. I apologized for asking the question and jumped into telling her how the visit went. Everything seemed great after, but I sure felt dumn. I know better and I still did it, and to a new social worke at that!!! I am going to make sure and do a very good deed to make up for my stupidity!!

We were given a copy of our children's birth parents case plan and told exactly where they are at in the treatment plan. We are expected to keep confidentiality unless the other person involved has a "need-to-know" situation. In our state, this would include teachers or such. I told our son's teacher and school this year a little bit about his situation and stressed to them that we are fearful of an attempt to kidnap the kids at school because of the situation. So I guess our state is much more lax.

I'm glad our state isn't like yours. I truly feel like I'm a better foster parent because I am involved in the case and informed. And it will certainly make me a better adoptive parent, since I will be able to answer questions one day.

[CaddoRose]

My CW tells me everything about the case. I know if they passed a drug screen or didn't or if they even went to parenting classes or not. I can ask anything and get the answer.

My agency and CPS have also ok'd any posting I do on foster care sites as long as I leave out personal identifying information. I can also post the same type of info the OP did and it will not violate any confidentiality agreement. The only way it would violate my agreement is if I posted actual names.

[snc2007]

I glad I get to be kept in the loop but sometimes I feel like I get too much information. I do like knowing the facts but sometimes opinions and hearsay get mixed in and it borders on gossip. I'm not sure what the rule is in my state but it must be different everywhere.

[EandDmom]

I get told everything they always answer all my questions and I get copies of all the drug screens and ever court document. I got 2 emailed to me today actually.

[Joy2566]

our kids are teenagers. Their cw would not answer their questions about the birth mother, just that she was found and sentenced. They would not tell the kids for how long. Birth mom would write letters telling the kids all sorts of lies. That she was getting out in a couple of months and coming to get them. Dh works for the prison, so he looked up her sentence. She got three years. Now, I don't understand why they would not tell the kids that. I make it a policy to never lie to the kids. If they ask me a direct question, I answer it if I know the answer. CW'r was okay with me telling the kids about the mother's sentence, yet they wouldn't tell them.

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by Joy2566

our kids are teenagers. Their cw would not answer their questions about the birth mother, just that she was found and sentenced. They would not tell the kids for how long. Birth mom would write letters telling the kids all sorts of lies. That she was getting out in a couple of months and coming to get them. Dh works for the prison, so he looked up her sentence. She got three years. Now, I don't understand why they would not tell the kids that. I make it a policy to never lie to the kids. If they ask me a direct question, I answer it if I know the answer. CW'r was okay with me telling the kids about the mother's sentence, yet they wouldn't tell them.

I think this is awful (what the caseworkers did to your foster kids). In fact, I think it borders on abuse. That has almost certainly got to cause mental anguish and suffering. I don't even know how they can justify this. It makes me angry just reading it....the more I type the angrier I get.

So these kids are supposed to be kept in limbo, not knowing when/if they will go home for how long? Wow...this just seems wrong to me. Hard for me to wrap my mind around this one.

[afamilythroughfoster]

Our counties must share power hungry cw's. I have received much of the same off-standish behavior from sw's when I thought we were supposed to be working together. Information only goes in one direction--theirs.
thank goodness we are no longer with our old agency and now we have a wonderful relationship with sw's who don't treat my family like we're the dysfunctional ones.