[onhazier]

A2 is 8 months old. She's eating and drinking well during the day. We're able to get her down for a nap without too much difficulty. Bedtime for the evening is a different beastie. We're just not sure what to do to help her go to sleep. We know we're only a week into this, but we're desperate for sleep ourselves.

In the evening, she gets dinner, a bath, some play time and then takes a couple of ounces of formula and a cuddle. We then try to put her in the crib and end up with an hour long (at least) screaming jag. It doesn't matter if we're holding her or not. She's only settling if we walk and pat her back. If you put her down, she wakes and screams at the top of her lungs. We've even tried keeping a blanket around her and putting her in bed in that so there is no temperature change to a cold sheet.

After we get through that, then we're awakened at 12:30 for another hour or two of screaming. She'll then sleep until about 8am.

She didn't come with a pacifier though we introduced one last night and it seemed to end the 2 hour midnight jag. (We forgot we had one in the house.) We suspect she's never slept alone. We're not allowed to bring her into bed with us. Snoozing on the couch with her in our arms has not been very successful either.

We've moved her from the room she was sharing with her brother into our room. We're hoping that when she makes a peep tonight, we can get the pacifier in before she starts her scream. Tonight, we did see that she fell asleep after screaming for only 45 minutes. The pacifier is not helpful if she's too busy screaming to suck on it, you know.

Oh, the room she was in had a night light. Ours does not. Night lights don't seem to be the issue.

Sorry if this is rambling. I'm posting this right before I give up and go to bed myself. So, I won't be able to respond to anything until tomorrow.

Thanks in advance for any ideas you can provide.

[thelowlanders]

I know they seem a bit old, but for some kids ...swaddling works. They feel safe and secure. Our newly turned 3 year old even likes it at times. But our 10 mo old couldn't hate it more. But hey, it's worth a try.

Oh, and on going sound. A fan up high ( not blowing on them), or music, etc.

[blubutterflies03]

Are you sure you don't live at my house??

We are going thru similar things with Baby B who is 9 months old now. He goes down around 8 o clock...and then around 11 needs another bottle. Around that time he sometimes cries for a long period, and if not then then around 2 o clock, and then he cries for an hour.

Was your child drug exposed? mine was. Mine also though is busting out his 8th tooth. We try to put the bedtime lotion when he takes a bath, do orajel, baby tylenol and teething tablets. And oh, sometimes I put cereal in his bottle only at nite in hopes that a full tummy might satisfy him. Maybe it is growing pains!

good luck at your house. We don't get much sleep or anything else in the bed for that matter.

[Heather5458]

I too have had a child like that at home. Have you tried a swing to get them to sleep or do they have a favorite type of blanket?
good luck and if it helps just remember tonight when you are up at midnight that you are not the only one lots of us are up also trying to meet the needs of these precious children.

[jphollen]

Just trying to think...have you tried a little noise? (maybe she isn't used to quiet?) We use a CD Kenny Loggins Return to Pooh Corner. The volume is very low but it's relaxing and soothing also predictable (we always just this CD which drives everyone else in the house nuts but seems to comfort the little ones). If all else fails think about making a doctors appt. let them know everything you have done (bring a list) and see if they have any ideas. If the child was substance exposed especially they maybe able to figure something out to help. Sometimes they even prescribe a low dose of antihistamine to establish a sleep pattern. Good luck that sleep deprived stuff is for the birds!

[RNFosterMom]

We have a similar situation, also w/an 8 month old. We were told that she had always slept with her mother before coming into foster care. Then she was in a shelter for 10 days, and the shelter mom said that she put her to bed w/a bottle at 7pm and she slept all night.

This has not been our experience! The first week was especially rough. She would wake up as soon as she touched the mattress and scream for an hour, then the whole thing repeated at about 1am. It's not a good idea to put a baby to bed w/a bottle (leads to ear infections and cavities), and since we knew she was really stressed out from all she'd been through, letting her cry it out could be potentially traumatizing.

What we tried that seemed to work (after the whole bedtime routine), was to lay her in the crib and then sit on the floor in the doorway and read a magazine. We sat where she could see us at all times but we did not interact w/her. If she really worked up into a tizz, then we would give her her pacifier and help to settle her again and then go back to ignoring her. This way, she knew she wasn't alone and eventually she'd just fall asleep. This process took 30-60 minutes each time.

Things are much better now (she's been with us about 3 weeks), but bedtime is still a touchy issue and we never know what to expect.

[onhazier]

Thanks everyone!

Last night was better than anticipated. She screamed for about 45 minutes. We had decided to not hold her and then put her in the crib. Our thinking was that the more we handled her the more she'd keep waking herself up. So, when she was getting sleepy, we put her in the crib, gave her the pacifier and stood quietly off to the side. She screamed and we'd keep giving her the pacifier. (We don't leave a little one who is crying. We also don't combine cribs and bottles.)

During the night, she'd start to wake herself up. Since she was in our room, we were able to catch her and give her the pacifier again before she'd really get going. So, while there was lots of getting up, she never really woke up and made it through the rest of the night without a scream. That felt like progress!

From reading previous posts, we had read about swaddling and had tried it earlier in the week. She HATED it. We also have ceiling fans in each room which are on all the time. So, the white noise is there. I just don't know what noises she's used to. Fortunately, when our dogs bark once the children are asleep, neither seems at all bothered by that.

RNFosterMom, our situations really do sound similar!

I knew we weren't alone in what we're experiencing. Your understanding and commiseration is greatly appreciated by this sleep deprived couple. Thanks!

[forever14230]

I'm glad you had a better night last night. I second the idea about using a little white noise, even if you have to drag out an old fan. I used to babysit for a little boy who could only sleep if a fan was running...didn't matter if it was below zero, the fan had to be on. Soothing music may also work. GL, sleep deprivation is the worst!

[Boulderbabe]

If the noise is the thing, and not the movement of the air, there's a way to have that noise going without making the room colder. The iTunes music store has a program called "Ambience." It has like 30 different kinds of white noise. And if you have an iPod, you could plug it into speakers and have it run all night....

(I use it all the time, and it's fantastic!)