[sergekel]

How many of you received foster children with attachment disorders? Of those who did, how long did it take for the disorder to display itself (ie..was there a honeymoon or was it obvious right away) How many were RAD and how many were less severe? How old were they?

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by sergekel

How many of you received foster children with attachment disorders? Of those who did, how long did it take for the disorder to display itself (ie..was there a honeymoon or was it obvious right away) How many were RAD and how many were less severe? How old were they?

One out of eight of my foster children had attachment issues. She was four years old and honeymooned for about a month and a half before she started displaying attachment behaviors.

[sergekel]

Originally Posted by Kat-L

She was four years old and honeymooned for about a month and a half before she started displaying attachment behaviors.

If you don't mind my asking...what happened then?

Is it standard to keep the child and work on the attachment with attachment-specific therapy or does the child go to theraputic or RTC or what happens?

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by sergekel

If you don't mind my asking...what happened then?

Is it standard to keep the child and work on the attachment with attachment-specific therapy or does the child go to theraputic or RTC or what happens?

I emailed and called the cw for 2 months. The cw for the girls (there was also a 21 month old) felt that the 4 year was fine because she was affectionate with her at visits. I explained she was also super affectionate with the pizza delivery guy, neighbors, folks at the store, anyone who wasn't me. The cw would apologize when I told her that "Darlene" broke something and would offer to pay for it but I would say "That's not the point. She needs more help than I can give her". I couldn't explain to her what it was like to live with "Darlene" 24/7. Our house was in complete chaos and everything had something to do with "Darlene". Finally, I took time off from work hoping I could give her more attention while the kids were at daycare. Her behaviors escalated. I contacted an attachment therapist on my own and went over the specific things that were happening. He felt she needed a full time, stay at home parent, who could work with her 24/7 to develop attachment. Because I was a single mom, working full time and had 4 other children besides "Darlene", he didn't think my house was the best placement. I told the cw this and she said she hoped I would keep them. She said she might consider play therapy if things don't improve. Finally, I just called her and told her to find a new home for them. I then called the supervisor and told her what was going on, gave her the information from the attachment specialist and told her what "Darlene" would need in a new home in order to heal.


CPS doesn't like to label kids with any kind of behavior problem. It makes their job harder, they have to put the kids in a therapeutic home (which costs more money) and it makes it difficult to find a foster or adoptive placement. In my experience, they just bury their heads in the sand until the kid is out of control-THEN they look into getting the child help. "Darlene"s cw thought "Darlene" was just homesick and play therapy would "fix" her. If she was my only child, I would have kept her and paid for the attachment therapy myself. But with all the other kids and working full time, I wasn't the best placement for her. They moved her to another regular home. Then to an adoptive home. Then to another foster home when the adoptive home disrupted. Over her short life, she was moved dozens of times between various relatives and friends of the family before she was placed in foster care. I was her second foster placement (the first was overwhelmed but CPS said it was because she was new at fostering). "Darlene" lived with several different aunts, uncles & adults cousins from birth. Her history alone would clue someone in that she never had the opportunity to develop a lasting relationship with anyone. I don't know where she is now. I haven't seen her in about 4 months.

[athikers]

It took my foster daughter about... half a day to display behaviors.

[sergekel]

Originally Posted by athikers

It took my foster daughter about... half a day to display behaviors.

This is Pixie? So..you are working through the issues with her? Are you using an attachment therapist?

[stevenstwin]

Austin was 14 when he came to me - his attachment disorder was labelled "moderate", although after SOME of what I've seen on these boards, I'm tempted to say it was more "mild". He wasn't setting my cat on fire or peeing in my laundry, for instance ;-) We found a local attachment therapist (not highly experienced, but very motivated and keen, and we were one of her first "big" cases). We did pretty intensive work, I'll tell ya. And yes, his behaviours surfaced pretty quickly - I knew him before he moved in, and I think THAT was the honeymoon period. First "rage" was on like day 3. We had issues with hygiene, hoarding, raging, lying, over-reaction to minor bumps and bruises but no response to major injury, and parent-shopping (he was very good at making his friends parents think he was a misunderstood, sweet little boy in an uncaring foster home). He's nearly 18 now, and I don't think he'll ever by "cured", but his progress over all is far more than what we ever expected at his age. Although I'm still only "mom" when he wants something ;-)

[athikers]

Nope, Pixie's perfect (no really).

This was my first placement, she was 9 and lived with us for 7 months. We had intensive in home therapy after moving quickly through 2 worthless therapists. I would not say she ever attached. But, we were able to get much better control of her behaviors and she became more and more accepting of love and affection (the appropriate kind). I don't know if she will ever attach, it depends on what her relatives are doing to help her work through her issues now.

[jeni-b]

We currently have a FD that isn't attached to anyone and has no clue how. She calls the grocery checkout lady mama. She has other mental impairments, so therapy is not an option at this point.

Our DD who was adopted internationally has mild attachment disorder. She was always anxiously attached and was mommy shopping within a few weeks. We started therapy when she had been home 1 year and she was 2.5 years old. We have seen a lot of progress with the PCIT therapy that we used. It's an ongoing battle, but we don't have many bad days now.

[rm2000hg]

What is PCIT therapy?

[AmyAnne]

Originally Posted by sergekel

How many of you received foster children with attachment disorders? Of those who did, how long did it take for the disorder to display itself (ie..was there a honeymoon or was it obvious right away) How many were RAD and how many were less severe? How old were they?

My son had RAD and was placed with us at age 7. we accelerated right past the honeymoon stage, because he was hospitalized the first week he was with us, but I would say he started testing us immediately. We had him in attachment therapy within the first 3 months, and we are to a point now where we have relapses, but he's come a long way now. He's been with us almost 4 years at this point

[sergekel]

Originally Posted by rm2000hg

What is PCIT therapy?

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy

[stevenstwin]

If you are looking at different types of attachment related therapy, we did TheraPlay (NOT to be confused withe play therapy!) and EMDR. I was involved in all therapy (even the EMDR), which is a hallmark of any attachment therapy. If any therapist ever tells you they want to see/talk to/ treat your child by himself, it is not attachment therapy.

[kxl164]

Our child has "attachment issues" but no one is willing to call it an "attachment disorder;" he was 24 months at placement.

We knew from the first day that something wasn't right, there was a honeymoon period for severe acting out, but the attachment issues were immediately appearent.

We were not "allowed" to pursue attachment therapy until after TPR (18 month later), so we did play therapy with some "suggestions" from therapist for help facilitating attachment.

After TPR, we had an in-home attachment therapist for a year, before we "graduated", meaning the issues are still there but are not severe enough to warrent in-home therapy.

As to the severity, I don't know. Even though we have "graduated" there are still definite attachment issues, but the attachment has been growing. It is a very long, slow process, full of starts and stops, progress/regression.... but it is growing.

I don't think my child will ever be "cured" of attachment issues, but we are hopeful that he will continue to make progress and our family attachment will grow.

Like Kat-L, my son was moved mulitiple times with different family members/caregivers before coming into foster care, then we were their second placement after that, of course in the beginning we were just told we were their second placement. As time when by and I learned more and more about the history I found that we are really his 10th, and final, home. It has taken its toll, he still doesn't want to have to fully trust in us to meet his needs and it makes him angry when he realizes that he does. So we see definite progress, but it seems to be measured by the frequency and severity of the regression periods.

[Lorraine123]

My daughter has severe RAD, but we were told that she had mild attachment issues when she was placed. In hindsight, it was very evident right away. She tested us from the start. She tried to turn our world upside down. We just thought it was her adjusting to us. We had experience dealing with mentally ill children, so her behavior wasn't too bizarre to us, but we could see something was "different". There was no attachment to us at all. She would gladly go home with anyone and not look back once. She never grieved past relationships. They didn't matter to her.

She was 6 when she came to live with us, and now at age 12 there is still very little (if any) attachment.