[fredalina]

For lack of a better word...

What's your fostering style? Some people seem to take one placement at a time (single child or sibling group counting as a single placement for this conversation), and some have kind of a revolving door with 2-3 (or perhaps more) non-related children where when one leaves, another fills the crib or bed.

What do you see as the advantages and disadvantages of your "style"? Did you make a conscious decision to do it this way, or did you fall into it?

[lakin11]

We took a sib group of 3 our first placement, and they are still here, 3 years later....hoping to adopt them soon. We had their 1/2 brother who was born 1.5 years after we got them...but he went home. We have another FD who we've had 2 years. We had her baby sister for awhile, then she went home, now she's back. In our 3 years of fostering, we've had 7 kids. Only 1 was not related somehow. We are not currently open for anymore, and still debating if we will take anymore later. I love that we've been able to keep siblings together. Even though the 1/2 brother of the older kids has gone 'home' we still get to see him quite frequently, which has been good for all. We just kinda 'fell' into this...but feel like it was how it was supposed to be. I'm not sure my heart could take the revolving door.

[Withay]

I seem to have the 'revolving door' type of home. I believe that is due to the type of kids I foster - medically fragile infants and toddlers. In 6-1/2 years I have had over 100 children, typically 3 - 4 at a time. In that time, I have only had 2 sibling groups.

[chevyjewel]

Having two young children of our own I prefer to retain birth orders and take younger kiddos. I also prefer not to have more than one or two foster kiddos as a time as time gets stretched to thinly for my liking if there are more.

We've not had unrelated placements at the same time. Not necessarily by choice, that's just how it's worked out.

After most of our placements have left we've taken little breaks to regroup with our children. Since we've only used respite services once for a single weekend in our two and half years of fostering and our foster kiddos don't go to daycare no one in our family really gets a break from them until they leave. We're all pretty ready for some down time once a case finally wraps up.

I suppose advantages would be being able to focus on a single case and form really strong bonds with them while they're here. Disadvantages are nerves worn thin towards the end of longer cases because we don't get much time away from the kiddos or time alone together as a couple.

Not sure I'd change anything though. We think this way works best for our family as well as the kids in our charge

[blubutterflies03]

At first we took them as they called, meaning the first 2 were in our age range, but we didn't care about race or conditions. The next placement (my sibling group of 2) we said No at first to because they told us the wrong ages of them and they were not in our age range. The next day we said Yes, and found out they were in our range (social worker made a mistake). I am keeping a spot open for my Baby B's brother in case he needs to come into our care as he is currently in the rehab center with the birthmom. My house is currently liscensed for 3, but my worker said I could have 4 if I wanted to.

[RNFosterMom]

We are licensed for 2 but usually just have 1 at a time. We have decided we prefer this, but would be willing to take 2 siblings in our age group (NB to 5). We feel that placements from multiple families results in craziness w/scheduling all the visits and appointments.

We usually get a new placement shortly after one leaves. We did have a 10 day overlap where we had an 8 month old and a 4 month old (the 4 month old reunified) and that was really busy! I think our limit for the number of kids we can handle is a lot lower than for many others on this board!

[CaddoRose]

We have room for 3 Fkids, but at the moment we have a sib group of 2- 1yr old boy and 2. 5 yr old girl. My agency would only call with a third child if they were absolutely desperate for a bed. We will take whatever call we get that fits our age and within our ability to care for their particular needs. These two will hopefully be going to family within the month or by Jan sometime, and then we will take a little time to regroup and await the next call.

[c.a]

We kind of fell into it. We started with only one at a time. First a three year old and after he went home we accepted an 11 month old baby who we adopted 18 months later.

About two months after he arrived we were told that his bmom was pregnant again and would we take that baby if he went into state custody. We said sure. CW then asked if we were willing to take a second foster child generally. We decided only to take short term and emergency placements so that we would not "fill up" and not be able to take our son's 1/2 brother. That was two years ago - "B" still lives with bmom and her husband. We accepted a six month old baby boy last month - and are still doing emergency and short temr placements.

[LeighM]

I have two bio son and we wanted to adopt a girl. So we only took one child at a time. Ends up we adopted the first girl we took as a fc placement. After we adopted her again I said only one child. Both of us work outside the home. Our boys were older and very active in sports and other groups. I wanted to be able to balance everything as much as possible. And 4 kids was what I/we could handle.

[Maura_H]

I take one at at time - our age group is 0-1 so I mainly get newborns from the hosital. I have 4 bios (Kindergartener to Senior in HS) and only room for a baby in our room. Once my oldest is off to college I might consider taking a child a bit older (say a toddler or preschooler).

[thelowlanders]

They want to pack our house full. We have 4 here and 1 bun in the oven here and I still get asked...

We've just ended up a revolving door so far. 3 came in, 2 went to bf's house, baby came in. At least I can say my car is full after 5 . That kinda helped stop the offers of more children for now. They just see more room in our home, how happy the F kids are, and want to keep filling it

[jphollen]

We are licensed for four and have a sib group of two right now. Plus our bios. Some days thats five total! (DH has joint custody of his 11 DD so it depends on the day).

We usually take one at a time. Our license is high because we have taken specialized kids before and they count as two. I have never had more than one unrelated placement at a time. It's just worked out that way.

[mommy2fiveplus]

We have 5 bio/adopted of our own and our license is open for 3 more any gender up to age 10 however we do have the physical space for more than that if they ever need it in a pinch we said we souldn't mind doing a large sibling group (they could apply for a variance to go over 8 kids).

We take them as they come but prefer sibling groups since it seems to reduce the number of apts we have. We have had kids from different familes before but not often, it does make for interesting logistics but is doable.

We haven't really worried too much about birth order since our 5 were not all added by birth nor did they make thier appearances in birth order.

I will say, my mom, who takes teen boys (up to 4 at a time) did have some animosity between two boys from different homes because one's family was really working the plan and regaining custody while the other boy's family was not. The problem was resolved but it definetley gave us something to think about.

Also when I was 16 or so one of my then foster brothers (9y) was about to be adopted and one of the other foster brothers (13y) went through a deep depression, turns out he wanted to be adopted but that was not in the plans (he was being returned to a less than perfect relative placement situation). It was really hard on my parents because they wanted to adopt him but could not due to the bio fam but in the end they have always kept in touch and he visits often. Sometimes I wonder if he would be in a different place/made different choices now if he had stayed with us and I wonder if he is jealous of the advantages my other brother has had.

Those situations would not change the way we foster but they are things to think about.

[aedems]

We have three bios and too wanted to keep birth order. We take children generally between 0-3, but will go up to 5 depending on circumstances. Our first placement was a sibling set of 2, and then I had three newborns (one at a time). With the newborns I only like to take one at a time as they require a lot of attention (drug-addicted generally), especially with my three biological children. I was VERY busy for awhile with one leaving and another coming. I took a short hiatus due to a family member's illness and opened back up six weeks ago. I haven't gotten a call yet, but that is because of some new initiatives in our state to bring in a lot more foster parents AND really pushing for family members to take the children. Good in theory, maybe not so good in the long run.....we'll see!

[athikers]

We are a foster-adoptive home. Here, that means the kids they place with us are unlikely to RU and are here for the long haul. We have had 5 "long term" placements, four went home to relatives and we adopted our daughter. We also do respite in between our placements, generally, we need a break after our kids leave, because we are very bonded and very sad and need time to grieve. We've had 15 respite or emergency placements. These kiddos just come for a week or the weekend and they are gone... though some keep coming back over and over! We are looking to start foster-adopting again after Christmas if our match doesn't work out... otherwise we'll have our hands full with a new little man and probably won't be taking placements for awhile!