[michsm]

for those of you who have been following my other thread "crying and needing support" you know that my home has been in choas for the past week.

bmom was released from the hospital on wednesday. The children were supposed to go right back into her care. Since they were all coming for Thanksgiving they had stayed.

On Thanksgiving S told bmom that he does not want to go home with her. He is scared and does not feel safe there. He said he never knows what to expect, that he loves her, wants to see her but does not want to live with her.

Because of this conversation bmom has decided that if he feels that way and she cannot make him feel safe and secure that the girls probably felt the same way even though they had not verbalized it. She realized that because of her mental status that she can not meet the childrens emotional needs.

She has decided that on Monday she wants to put the children back into care until she can work another plan and get herself back where she needs to be so she can give her children what they need.

Has anyone ever seen that happen before? Can she tell the CPS worker that she wants them taken when she comes out for the interview?

[meshsgrl]

the bmom of my 2 youngest voluntarily gave her kids to CYS when they investigated her house. Her house was to filthy to live in and all she would have had to do was clean up. She is a sweet woman... young who seems to love her children, but loves her freedom without them more!
So yes it is possible for them to take them with her consent. I would think tho depending on the case worker they would try to put extra services in place to her before they just take them... but who knows?!!?

[deadcalm]

My Baby Girl's mom had mental issues and gave her to the system, until she was able to get herself together. Almost two years later, she decided that it was best for me adopt Baby Girl and decided to surrender her rights.

[AKMama]

My girls were turned over to OCS by their grandparents. They were staying with the grandparents at the time and they felt they could not handle the girls anymore so they called OCS and told them they had one week to find them a new home. What the birthparents needed to do inorder to get the girls back into their home suddenly became a lot more complicated and involved. A year later, the parents signed voluntary surrenders. A couple months later, same birthmom approached us to take my girls' birth sister temporarily so she could work her program for keeping Baby Sister. Baby Sister ended up in care for four months (we fostered her) before mom worked her program and got her back.

[shaylynn]

My very first set of kids that I had, were put into foster care voluntarily by their mom because she said she couldn't control them and couldn't manage being a single parent so they let her place them into care but she was only given 6 months to make her decision to either take them back or lose her rights. They did give her a case plan to follow, ex: taking financial training, parenting classes, etc. They ended up going to a relative until the dad had his issues worked out and unfortunately that didn't work out so they got sent to another home until an aunt and uncle stepped up and are raising them under guardianship care.

[Boulderbabe]

It's certainly possible for a bparent to turn the kids voluntarily over to CPS, especially in the middle of an ongoing case. Wow--it takes a lot of strength and self-awareness for her to realize she just can't do it right now. I totally applaud her for putting her kids first!

[thelowlanders]

I agree. To acknowledge takes the greatest strength.

[hrisme]

Didn't want to hijack the thread on birthparents placing children back in foster care voluntarily, but have to ask---why is it that birth parents can place their children in foster care voluntarily, but if adoptive parents disrupt a placement, returning an extremely damaged child to foster care they are charged with abandonment? Not that I think "birth parents" shouldn't be able to choose to act in the best interest of their children and relinquish them if that is what is best for the child, but shouldn't parents who have adopted a child SOMEONE ELSE left with severe emotional disorders have the same right?

[EZ2Luv]

To answer why it is different for aparents to just disrupt is because unlike bios, aparents have gone through homestudies and all kinds of hoops and screening and have willingly accepted these children and by law have become parents. Sadly some adopted children have severe emotional damage and the aparents were not told the entire story prior to adopting or they realized once the child was actually in the home they were not able to meet the chids need especially if the child posed a threat to the family. Not that I think anyone should just decided to hand their children over, I would think they would have to be pretty desperate to do so. When you think about it, it really doesn't seem fair.

EZ

[michsm]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

It's certainly possible for a bparent to turn the kids voluntarily over to CPS, especially in the middle of an ongoing case. Wow--it takes a lot of strength and self-awareness for her to realize she just can't do it right now. I totally applaud her for putting her kids first!

Yes, I agree she has to have some amazing strength to do what is best for her children. I always saw her as a very selfish person and I think this is the most selfless decision you can make. She knows she can not meet their needs until she takes proper care of herself. It hit her pretty hard when her 11 yr old told her what his needs were and how she was not meeting them. She knows she has some stuff to work on. She has left the children in my care until she talks to CPS on Monday. I am just praying now that they will place the children with me.

[michsm]

Mom did try to put the kids into foster care. Dad said he wanted the children, although he has no place for them to live.

The children have now been taken into care and placed with me.

Say some prayers I am now the proud foster mom to 4 teenage girls, 17,15,13,13, a wonderful 11yr old boy and an 8 week old baby.

Now all I want for Christmas is:

An attitude on/off switch for the girls, 5 more bathrooms, a larger vehicle, a cleaning lady, an in home on call at all times massage therapist and some sanity in a jar!

[Mommyofthreetobe]

Originally Posted by michsm

Mom did try to put the kids into foster care. Dad said he wanted the children, although he has no place for them to live.

The children have now been taken into care and placed with me.

Say some prayers I am now the proud foster mom to 4 teenage girls, 17,15,13,13, a wonderful 11yr old boy and an 8 week old baby.

Now all I want for Christmas is:

An attitude on/off switch for the girls, 5 more bathrooms, a larger vehicle, a cleaning lady, an in home on call at all times massage therapist and some sanity in a jar!

Congratulations. I'm glad the kids were placed with you. I do pray that things are resolved for the best quickly. Can the dad get visitation with the kids?

As for for your wish list...i had a thought...i only am thinking of this becasue my little sister just started massage therapy school. Check with a local massage therapy school and let students know you are interested in being a subject for their required practice hours. They cannot charge before they have their licenses (but a small tip is gratefully accepted) and they are required to practice a certain number of hours...they will generally go to your home for the massage. Not quite the same thing as a live-in, on call massage therapist, but a thought anyways. cant help you out on the rest of the wish list. ;-)