[thelowlanders]

I just received the notices in the mail. They're both on the same day.. Ack! For some reason I'm nervous. Maybe because multiple people have referred to baby's dad as "Volatile"..... Plus, I want to make sure I don't forget to mention anything valuable to these kids' cases.

What has been your experience with these? Should I definitely go? It sounds like they want Foster parents there. Did you actually speak at them? What about the dad? Are these in small rooms?

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by thelowlanders

I just received the notices in the mail. They're both on the same day.. Ack! For some reason I'm nervous. Maybe because multiple people have referred to baby's dad as "Volatile"..... Plus, I want to make sure I don't forget to mention anything valuable to these kids' cases.

What has been your experience with these? Should I definitely go? It sounds like they want Foster parents there. Did you actually speak at them? What about the dad? Are these in small rooms?

My experience was WONDERFUL with the citizen review panel. They knew the case better than the caseworker. The birthmom did not show up, so that made me less nervous about telling what I knew. Basically, they talked to the caseworker about the parents progress and then they asked ME questions...and all the right ones. They were really on top of the whole situation. I also brought the kids, so they could see how the kids sat in my lap and loved on me. They commented on how bonded we seemed even though it had only been 2 months since they had come to live with us. At that meeting, they recommended that the plan be changed to "Adoption only"...not congruent planning. They have a lot of sway, with the judge from what I understand, so it was really nice to see that they knew the our kids case SO well. They were the ones that pointed out that the birthmom is addicted to prescription drugs. Our caseworkers had not even considered that or addressed it up to that point. The kids enjoyed being there also. They seemed to TRULY have our kids best interest at heart....and I don't say that because they recommended adoption. They truly considered all the facts in this case and how the parents were doing in fulfilling their obigations to meet the reasonable expectations of the case plan. I truly mourned for the kids and mom and was so hoping she'd get the kids back, so I do not say this lightly.

[Withay]

Where you are located 30 minutes is allowed per CRB. It is normal for both to be scheduled for the same day and the same time if the kids are siblings.

You do NOT want to take the children to this meeting.

You DO want to take a current picture for the board members so they can see the children as children rather than a name and case number.

It is perfectly okay to take printed notes with you to help you remember what you want to say about each child. Just remember to keep it factual and no opinions.

The dad being described as 'volatile' is another reason for not taking the children.

The following people are invited to the meeting: the facilitator (who takes notes), 3 CRB members (community members with special training, not DHS employees), the foster parent(s), the child's attorney, the child's parents, the parents attorney, any CASA/GAL workers involved with the case. If the parents are not married, each will have their own attorney who is invited. Most will show up. Once in awhile the parent(s) do not show.

The room is generally of an average DHS size. There will be room for each person, but not enough room for much movement.

You definitely want to go. I usually show up about 15 minutes early because that gives me time to chat with the caseworker and/or child's attorney about the case. It also lets me size up how the parents are doing. Sometimes the parents will want to talk and I am cordial but do not offer any information other than to say that the children are doing well (if asked).

When your case is called try to sit by either the caseworker or the child's attorney. That should help you to relax a bit.

Good luck.

Take a few deep breaths and relax. You will do just fine.

[thelowlanders]

Thank you. I will definitely use these tips.

Oh, one more thing. If dad is "locked up" do they transport him to things like this and court hearings? Or does he stay where he's at until time served?

[thelowlanders]

Tomorrow's the big day....

Hope all goes well

Should I be expecting the b-father?

[Withay]

I doubt he will be there.

[Newshyde]

Good luck. I found the review board to be a very positive experience. Most likely BD won't be there if he is locked up. The last one I went to that was the case. Only birthmom was there. They really did know the case very well and asked very good questions. They wanted to look at pictures and had very specific questions for each of us. In my state, AZ, there is actually a copy of the questionarre online that I was able to look at. I also got a copy of it after the meeting.
I ended up learning a lot about the case that I didn't know already and got a really good feel for how things were progressing.
I did bring a list of things I wanted to mention, but most of those things ended up getting covered in the questions they asked me.
They gave each person an opportunity to talk where no-one was allowed to interrupt. It was nice to feel like my input was important and that they were giving me time to say what I needed to say.
I hope you have a very productive meeting.
Heidi

[EandDmom]

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