[thelowlanders]

Seriously? The mother crams this little 2 year old with so much crap that she has diarreah after visits. When told what happens to her daughter and to please bring healthier snacks, or perhaps actually visit with her, She proceeds withthe attitude "It's my d*** kid and I can feed her what I want".

So this week we had visit for first time in a month. She feeds her bags of white cheddar popcorn, cheetohs, pringles, candy, all kinds of hostess junk, bug juice, etc. I pick her up and head to our next errand. We get out and she vomits all over herself......
I've really had enough.

???Anyone else dealing with parents getting to do whatever they want during visits, and you having to deal with the consequences???

[chevyjewel]

I've dealt with food hoarding 24/7 for the last nearly 6 months now LOL! That's a longer story though. Rebel seems compelled to never stop eating. What a battle.

Of course his issues aren't helped when at visits, just like your kiddos mom, his mom fills him full of crap. Vending machine fare. He too gets horrible diarrhea from it, no vomiting yet as this kiddo can pack anything in and will NOT let it back up. He practices this technique everyday despite my best efforts.

My favorite was a couple of weeks ago when an aunt was also present at the visit. They proceeded to stuff him full of all sorts of crap including an entire bag of chips and a whole chocolate bar just as they were buckling him into his car seat!!!! I found wrappers galore in the diaper bag once we got home. As a result of all the sugar he was a basket case the rest of the day and had horrific poos for days following. What really irks me is that I send fresh fruits, granola bars, healthy juices etc, seriously, tons of it, in the diaper bag each time. None of that is ever touched.

Anyway, I sympathize. It's all about power and control. They haven't got much of it left and are grasping at straws to regain something. Or are too into spoiling that they can't see past the consequences of it all. In either event it's too sad that it's got to be at the expense of the child's health.

[EandDmom]

I hate hate hate kool-aid and every visit they come out with bug juice..I'm sure its just a kool-aid type of thing.
I send them sippy cups of drinks so I know they aren't needing it. Last visit she stuffed their pockets (including the 1 1/2 year old) full of bubble gum. The 2 1/2 year old kept coming out of his room with it in his mouth and we were like where the heck is this coming from? I did laundry and found it in my dryer. Thankfully still wrapped and didn't ruin any clothes. Finally, the girl says mommy gave it to us in our pockets. Agghhh
Other than that we have the opposite problem. Mom is supposed to feed them during the visits and she brings something like a lunchable for them. These kids eat and eat good so as soon as we are in the car they yell we are hungry. So I have to go home and feed them their real lunch.

[Sam-N-Tony]

Mr. Peabody's Mom fills him up with candy, gum, soda and chocolate, things we do not allow in the house.

He gets soo high, he's bouncing all over the place.

The CW has mentioned to his Mom not to bring in so much candy because he has had A LOT of dental work. What 6 yr old, has a bridge in his mouth, and 5 silver covered teeth, he has so much silver in there I thought he was a rapper. I think it has a lot to do with them wanting these kids to like and forgive them for what has happened. So they give them what they like, so they look "better".

You can have the CW talk to them. Unfortunately it is so out of our control. You might want to keep a log of the diahrea and vomiting. Talk to their doctor and maybe he can write a note to the courts.

Good luck.

[millie58]

Or (if this is doable), try feeding them right before the visit. This may have a miniscule effect.

[Scrapsathome]

I think the note from the doctor is a good idea. Maybe you could get one from the dentist, too? If the professionals are saying it's necessary then it should have more force to get the judge to order it and the CW to follow it.

[chevyjewel]

Originally Posted by millie58

Or (if this is doable), try feeding them right before the visit. This may have a miniscule effect.

That's not a horrible idea.

Chances are when fed all the junk on top of a meal the child will vomit in her presence. Perhaps that'll help mom to see how inappropriate all the gorging is if she's forced to deal with some of the immediate effects of it herself for a change.

I'd imagine the regular foods fed before hand would also act as a buffer of sorts so the vomiting wouldn't hurt as much either. Extremely sugary and salty yaks always hurt the worst so at the very least it may ease the child's pain when she does have to do it as a result of her moms poor decision to feed her such junk.

[stevenstwin]

I know it's frustrating and needs to be dealt with, but just to put it in perspective, try to rememeber what is probably motivating it. For a parent with poor skills and not a lot of opportunities to "do" for her child, food equals love. I admit even I show affection to my children by making their favourite foods, or taking them out for a donut or something. I figure that cramming them fulll of junk food probably "feels" like a way to cram in a lot of love and care until next week, even if it isn't the most appropriate way to do it.

[thelowlanders]

That's probably exactly what's happening. I've spoken with the caseworker very firmly about the last incident. She said she is not allowed to feed her anymore. And she may not bring her B-day cake for this next visit
That is just too much I think. I reassured her that B-day cake from bmom is an excellent idea. Just teach her about portion control. Give her daughter a 3 year old portion, not half the cake. ( Which would really happen) Bring her junk food if that's what she wishes. But give her 3 year old portions. Not 5 adult size portions of all kinds of stuff.

So what I realized, sadly, was she honestly does not know better. That's how she was raised, and that's what she's doing.

[waited2long]

I agree with Stevenstwin, the birth parents are trying to "make up" and show their love, by giving the kids treats.

I hope your child's BMom learns that she can get the same results with one icecream cone as she has with the multitude of treats. If there was a way to send a message, I'd try to convince the BMom that reading a story to her lil girl would be a much better (and cheaper) way to show her love and it has the added bonus of snuggle time.

[jb41503]

Can anybody please tell me how a person posts a new thread in a forum on here because I am searching and can't find info on that anywhere on here.

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by jb41503

Can anybody please tell me how a person posts a new thread in a forum on here because I am searching and can't find info on that anywhere on here.

Pick which forum you want to create a new thread. Click on that forum. Now, see the tag that says, "New Thread" right before the "Announcements" tag toward the top of the page? Just click on that, and voila!

[thelowlanders]

Welcome to posting!!!

Have fun. And be careful if you choose to vent.
Hahahahahaha

[jphollen]

I so would like to end the visit food battles too. I am not saying there should be no junk ever either but this is NUTS! I know at least in my case Bio Mom could benefit from some dietary education, I just don't know how we go about it. I don't think it should come from me. (I wouldn't have a problem doing it but she is already insecure and I need to keep a low profile with her)

BioMom was supposed to feed the kids supper on the last visit (for the first time). Their "supper" was sugar cookies (those really thick ones with an inch of icing like from Wal-Mart) Power Aid (even for the 20 month old) and chips. When they came home at eight we had to get a meal together and start home work. Which because of the time and the sugar level lasted late into the night.

[Boulderbabe]

jphollen,

Are your kids on WIC? If so, WIC might be able to provide the bmom with some nutrition education. Call the SW and see if she can coordinate bmom's visit with a WIC appt....