[jphollen]

Boulderbabe The almost two year old is elig for WIC I have an appt in a few weeks! What I great idea. The distance between bioMom and I is about an hour and a half so it's not the same county she would use but I am definitely going to try to involve them! Thanks for the great advice. I signed up for WIC for the child so they could help monitor growth and size. She was born almost seven lbs but is 21 months and in a size 12M.

Lowlanders- I hope there is a solution headed your way! This food fight stuff is not fun! Nor are the lingering sugar highs after visits!

Jen

[thelowlanders]

Today was excellent! She gave her not so healthy food. But in 3 yr old size portions I'm so proud of her Bmom. FD feels healthy and happy after visit. She's still stressed and on edge a bit, but does not have the gurgling tummy to deal with. Yay!

It's really not a power struggle. It would just be nice if her mother learned some good mommy stuff before she moves back in w/ her someday

[jphollen]

Lowlanders,

Kids went for a visit tonight (bMom is supposed to provide "supper") wish me luck!

Jen

[jphollen]

She did good tonight. She feed the baby a pot pie, and made her son some nachos. They wouldn't be things I would choose but they were so much more in the way of a meal than the snacks and junk food they were having. The caseworker promised to do some food education and get her some formal ed if necessary. Must have worked. Kids were so much better tonight (no sugar buzz!).

[thelowlanders]

Congrats! Aren't you so proud as they learn those tiny steps to being a good Mommy. I really didn't realize that some of these parents really honestly had no idea that that's not appropriate. Tell you what, If I normally fed my baby cheetohs, I sure as heck wouldn't do it in front of a SW. But they do....That was a big sign for me. Hope you enjoyed your peaceful night

[jllambert]

Parents need to be taught how to express their love without food! Food is not a gift or a reward. Food is for nourishment and energy! I begged and pleaded with CPS to send one set of parents to a dietician/nutritionist (when their DD came into care she weighed 50 lbs and was 18months old, and on the flip side they had almost starved the baby to death. He weighed 5 lbs at 4 months old)! They had no clue how to feed their children. Visits were a nightmare. They would not feed the baby his baby food because it was to hard and so they just gave him his bottles or tried to feed him their food. Visits were at 9am and they would bring DD Chicken nuggets, fries, candy, and they poured soda down the child. She would be so ill after visits, but they did not care. CW and GAL talked to them about it but never inforced anything. I just wanted them taught what was healthy for their kids. I think the state fails parents by not better educating them while their kids are in care. Parenting class are a joke here!
Wow that turned in to more of a rant then I expected! Sorry!!

[jphollen]

Amen you guys! I wish there was more education in the way of dietary needs for the bios. I think a lot of biological parents would do a better job in this area if they were just taught how. And using food as reward sets up sooo many issues. I have personally yet to have a foster child without huge food issues.

FD (21 months) is really tiny. She was born six and a half pounds and average in size. She is still in a 12M. She is used to just drinking and not eating so much so that she doesn't know what a spoon is for. When she eats it's like watching a 6-8 month old...food in ears and in her hair. While some of this might be developmental I think some is lack of experience with food!

Anyway at least they had a type of food last night. We actually got through some homework after the visit with the ten year old which is normally not possible with his sugar buzz.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by jphollen

Boulderbabe The almost two year old is elig for WIC I have an appt in a few weeks! What I great idea. The distance between bioMom and I is about an hour and a half so it's not the same county she would use but I am definitely going to try to involve them! Thanks for the great advice. I signed up for WIC for the child so they could help monitor growth and size. She was born almost seven lbs but is 21 months and in a size 12M.

Lowlanders- I hope there is a solution headed your way! This food fight stuff is not fun! Nor are the lingering sugar highs after visits!

Jen

I've had some good luck with WIC. They seem really amenable to helping out. You might even be able to get the SW to transport mom to a few WIC visits, and then transfer them to a local WIC office after reunification.

Another resource is your local health department. Here, we participate in a program called Nurse Family Partnership (NFP) that links families at risk to certified RNs. The RN can come to bfamily/kid visits, and coach the bparents on nutrition, parenting skills, and other issues. It works pretty well. You might see if your kids' bfamily qualifies for it, because it can continue after reunification as well, and helps DSS make sure everything is going okay.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by jphollen

She did good tonight. She feed the baby a pot pie, and made her son some nachos. They wouldn't be things I would choose but they were so much more in the way of a meal than the snacks and junk food they were having. The caseworker promised to do some food education and get her some formal ed if necessary. Must have worked. Kids were so much better tonight (no sugar buzz!).

One other idea for you: last Christmas, I bought a crockpot for my fdaughter's mom, and then made her a cookbook of REALLY simple recipes. (Like barbecued ribs: put ribs in crockpot. Pour barbeque sauce over the top. Turn the crockpot on. Dinner will be ready in five hours.)

I made sure all the recipes were super cheap and super simple, and gave them to her with a set of nice bowls to--ahem--- "celebrate her new apartment."

[thelowlanders]

I'll have to remember the crockpot idea. That's great.

Great suggestion to have mom go to wic. I think I'll ask for that sometime for FD's mom. She's young and ready to learn....At the moment anyway

[jphollen]

Oh yeah the crock pot idea is good! I wonder if I also send a few recipes of what the kids ate well while they were here kind of thing?