[wtacey01]

I have had it up to the top of the Empire State Building!

We are getting nothing from our case worker. We are looking to adopt 1 or 2 boys 0 - 10 years. We are going the straight adoption route, we have no children and might foster after being parents.

We are getting no where. We have inquired about 2 different set of children - the day they were put on our state's waiting children site. Our worker found their workers and sent them an e-mail which I have followed up on for the next 6 weeks. No answer. Are they available? no idea. Our worker left (she had been there for 10 years - everyone raved about her) and we've been transferred. I immediately sent her an e-mail introducing us to her and inviting her for a home visit. Maybe later. I asked her to look into the children that we had inquired about 6 weeks before, nothing. I finally called the 800 # and got the supervisors names - left messages - finally got an answer - "well we have so many families that inquired the first week that we aren't taking any more home studies"

I could go on and on................

Today, the last straw (it's been a really rough week, we had to put our dog to sleep on Sat and it's been really hard for us). I sent her an e-mail to find out about the adoption party in Oct/Nov they had told us they would put us on the invitation list, you know - just checking in.

"The adoption party is this weekend, it is full. There might be another one in Jan. I'll keep you updated"

Huh?????? We are going to start looking out of state. Tomorrow I am calling her supervisor to let her know how disappointed and upset we are.

Stacey

[kxl164]

I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time right now. I hope that things work out in the future.
(and I would call the supervisor too)

[Canadamom92]

Hi Stacey,

This entire process can be frustrating - especially if you're an A-type personality like most prospective adoptive parents are (myself included). Workers in the public system are over worked and some are burnt out. Staff changes happen and disrupt timelines and follow up.

Saying that, I would be heartbroken about not being allowed to go to the adoption party after having been told we could go. I hope they'll straighten that out for you. I'm sorry about your dog, too

We've been waiting a long time and have only been presented with one child by our local public adoption agency. All of the other potential matches we've had to pursue ourselves and be a squeaky wheel to get any follow up. I'm guessing it's pretty much the same everywhere.

I guess what I'm saying is that you're right to be frustrated. Unfortunately, it's not just your agency or your worker that's unresponsive - it's the entire system. We just have to work around it

[Wheresmyboys]

We too have been where you are. We have been ready since last December to adopt sibling boys 7-12. Well we thought they would be jumping all over us with offers of kids....nope They couldnt find us any children in this age group....go figure I activly searched on the TARE web site...we had our home study sent on several children but was not picked... I have talked to every supervisor at every level.....I also sent out letters to each represenative at the state level, the Govenors Office and the Commissioner telling them the how bad the system is broke there are people ready to adopt but it is a burecratic nightmare at all levels for the children as well as the prepared families...The good news is that we have been selected for 2 boys and have been waiting for the last 3 weeks to get the de-identified(redacted) files. This is definitely a "hurry up and wait" system. Hang in there YOUR kids will be found.

[yorkiegirl]

I can relate.We came into this as adopt only and got foster sons.Yes it was my hasty judgement.But we love these kids.Now looking like TPR they are giving them to relatives they dont know.Theyve lived maybe -stretching it -10 miles apart and never met.Our CW is no help.She wont respond to our adoption inquiries, when we find kids and their CW need our homestudy.
Our original homestudy showed we completed all training and then some.We need 30 credits every 2 years.We've been in this 5 months and have 26 of ours and they complain most dont have 6.But when she assesed us she added we needed additional training in nearly every area!
We have raised between us 6 kids, one of mine has already surpassed any of their degrees and is a counselor for children.The others will get there.
My husbands son was diagnosed autistic and now you cant tell the difference in him or any other 12 yr old.
They keep saying these kids desparately need homes but you cant get to them.I realize they want people who fit them and can supply their needs.They say we are concerned for their safety is why all the red tape.MY gosh we have all been checked out thru FBI, homestudies , child abuse criminal records, or we wouldnt have license!!!!!!
In my case it really is the local level, she got mad at me for avocating my foster sons rights.They are going to be moved and never seen a guardian ad litem -hardly seen by a single worker they are left out and ignored.Yes I complained, now Im being punished and ignored.I do not like this system.