[mrsred]

May years ago when our oldest was only 3 and we went to Disneyland we got one for him. It was wonderful. Yes, we had a stroller, but he didn't want to sit in that thing all day. Plus, since it was really hot, who wants to hold hands all day long Not to mention the crick you get in your neck bending over to hang onto a jerking toddler. And in a place as crowded as Disneyland, it only takes a second to get separated and completely lose sight of a child.
I got a few nasty looks (which I didn't let bother me), but only one person was bold enough to actually try to berate me for treating my son like a dog. I asked how many announcements he had heard that day regarding lost children. he had to admit that he had heard quite a few. I said "Well, not one of those was for my son." and I walked away. Someday, in the very distant (I hope) future, when I am a grandmother, you can bet I will recommend them for my grandchildren.

[Dani_in_AR]

We have one.

My son inists on wearing his backpack bear even without the tail on it. It's funny to see him sitting in the basket in the store with the bear on his back.

[MommyAlysia]

here you are not allowed to use them on foster children.
I would absolutely use them on my bios though. I honestly don't care if people think I treat my kids like a dog for using one (my dog by the way is treated quite nicely so its not that big of an insult ) their safety is more important that what others think. I honestly do NOT get the big deal, it seems a lot better to me for them to get the exercise and walk safely next to me than to plop them in a stroller all day(we do that too so I am not knocking strollers). I have one child who likes to wear it and another who freaks out with it on. I won't force them to wear it but if I am out somewhere big(like an amusement park) its either that or the stroller, they can choose.

I haven't read the replies yet, so forgive me if I sound defensive, its not aimed at anyone here.

ETA after reading replies, am I the only one who has a 2 yo who will NOT hold your hand?? I am fine with hand holding but Michael turns into a limp noodle when I hold his hand, he hates it, and he has weak wrists they pop out of the socket so easily I know how to pop them back. I have to drop his hand when he goes limp or else his wrist pops.

[msgypsylee]

I have one for my son and use it when we are someplace thats very crowded. I remember when I was younger, I was out with my older sister, mom and 2 year old neice at an Irish Festival. She was always a good hand holder but she saw something and darted away from us into the crowd. Luckily we found her about 10 minutes later but I remember that fear when she was gone in an instant and we couldn't find her right away. I could care less if people think I am walking my kid like a dog. I don't ever want to have that feeling that he's gone and I may not find him.

[kxl164]

I wouldn't use them. I do not think it is teaching the child anything but having them on a leash (not trying to be negative but it is a leash no matter how cute it is). If the child wants to walk teach them to walk next to you or hold their hand, if they can't do it, put them in a a stroller and try again later. Teach the child the importance of staying near you, and give them the security of you hand, the physical contact with you, which in my opinion is crucial for teaching kids the importance of staying close. You want them to be near you, to be safe, just like you keep them safe in many other ways.

I think this can be taught to ALL children, no matter if they are ADHD, ODD, Autistic, or just plain curious.

If I see someone using one, I don't care. I personally don't think they are making the best choice for the child, but I think they are at least making a safe choice and would much rather see a child on a leash than getting hit by a car.

btw, my daughter (biodaughter) did not like holding hands at first and has a joint disorder which if she dropped (meaning made her body limp because she didn't want to hold hands) she could dislocate her elbow and/or wrist. It was hard when she was 2 and we were just placed with our 2 foster children who were 24 and 10 months at the time because she was acting out in addition to her willful personality. She learned to hold hands just fine, or hold onto the coach or side of the grocery cart which are great options too. We didn't make it an option on whether or not she would listen, you hold hands or you can't walk and she loved being independent so she learned. Another thing that helped was that I told her that by holding hands she was helping to keep ME safe, she liked being in charge of my safety!

[shy_bear]

I used them when my kids were young, 18 mths. to around 2 1/2. They did not want to sit in the stroller, but did not fully understand that they have to hold our hand when out. I plan on using it with our son also!

[bajj]

I used one with my overly friendly son. He will literally go with anyone and he gets away fast. I'd rather be safe than sorry, so yes, I used it with him.

[jjjjmom]

No matter how many rules we make, the foster kids come the way they come and it takes a while until they learn to obey my rules, so yes I have used it on my foster kids, I rather have people stare that lose a kid in a big crowd.

[vegaschristina]

We have a puppy, bear, and dog harness for each of my kids. I have 3 kids under 5 and somedays it's all I can do to keep them with me. We got ours the day that Bubba jerked his hand out of mine and got to within 15 feet of a 6 lane road.

We used them a for a few weeks any time we left the house and during that time we made so many trips to the store. We'd go to the store for a single banana! We had to teach the kids parking lot/store manners. After a few weeks, we reduce the time they wore them to when they were misbehaving (I just carried them with me).

Now we only use them if we're going somewhere crowded or potentially dangerous. This weekend we went fishing at Lake Mead. I took the tails off of their backpacks and clipped them onto their life jackets. I figured if they fell in, I could just pull them out without having to go in after them

When we first used them, someone said we were treating my daughter like a puppy. I said, "Yep, but we're taking this puppy home with us."

[melissa_bear003]

Originally Posted by kxl164

I wouldn't use them. I do not think it is teaching the child anything but having them on a leash

I disagree. I have 4 bio children, and only my 3 yo has had one yet. Its not because I'm an inexperienced parent, lazy, or don't know how to teach a child to behave. Its that for this particular child, all the hand holding instruction on the planet didn't make an impact when he was 18 mths/2 yrs old, and he needed to be out of the stroller for activity. Also, pushing a stroller with another baby in it made hand holding a challenge...easier on both of us to use the back pack, slip the loop over my wrist so that I could manage the stroller.

Now, at 3, he hasn't used it in ages, although he still loves wearing it around the house. If we go somewhere really crowded, I'd probably want to use it again, esp as I now only have 1 hand that CAN be held, and 2 little people.

[wantonemore]

I used one with my son, he is now seven. I will be using one for future children.

It is important to teach "holding hands". I would never dream of using a teather in place of teaching a child to "stay close and hold on". Even with the teather, I would insist that he holds my hand while crossing the street, etc.

That being said, it takes ONE SECOND of time for a child to become an Amber Alert if you need to brush the hair out of your eyes, pick up a dropped bottle for the baby in the stroller, etc. Especially in a crowd.

I would rather be the parent that is frowned upon for using one, but still has the kid; than the one who refuses on matter of principal and spends the next ten years wondering if my child will ever be returned alive. JMO. : )

[MommyAlysia]

Originally Posted by kxl164

I wouldn't use them. I do not think it is teaching the child anything but having them on a leash

You are teaching them a lot more on a harness than you are by putting them in a stroller. I don't get the difference.

Originally Posted by kxl164

I personally don't think they are making the best choice for the child

I am the most non confrontation person you'll meet but that was rude and insulting. Maybe its not the best choice for *you* to use a harness on your child but don't assume we aren't making the best choice for ours. Thats simply not true.

[tiggerATD]

my now 16y/o daughters favorite button says "FREE THE HARNESS CHILDREN!"

she knows she wore a "leash" and is fully aware why...she is happy, healthy, and still very ADHD and hard to keep up with....but she is oddly proud of being a "harness child".....she is a strange kid but ya' gotta love her sense of humor...

[kxl164]

Melissa_bear- I wasn't saying anyone was lazy, I was saying that I don't think it teaches them anything. Maybe I am wrong and it worked for you and you used it as a teaching tool. In my opinon and experience with with mulitple small children (4yo, 2.5yo, 24 months, and 10 months when our foster children were first placed with us) I didn't feel the need to use a leash, even with my willful child. If they wanted to walk, they learned to hold hands, hold onto the coach, or walk next to me. If they wouldn't/couldn't/didn't they went into the stroller and we tried again later. It could 5 minutes later or it could be the next day. I put the 10 month old in the baby carrier and brought a double-stroller, at least one child would be walking, but the other ones could switch in and out as needed. They learned little by little, to stay close and hold hands. It was a challenge, but I didn't see how using a leash was going to help them, I saw how trying over and over and teaching them slowly the importance of staying close would. So even my willful child, then 2.5 yo, was able to stay close and safe. As for needing activity, my children had pleanty of time for that and we would schedule our days accordingly. If it worked for you that is wonderful, but in my opinion it is not a teaching tool, but it is a safety tool.

MommyAlysia- using a stroller gives you the opportunity to try again and again to remember the rules and stay close. I'm sure the same could be said for the leash, but it doesn't seem to have the same impact, imo. The stroller would contain them and they wouldn't be "allowed" to walk, it was a means to teach them that control goes along with independence. You want to walk, you have to follow these rules, we will keep trying until you can do it safely. In my opinion, I don't see the same benefit from a leash.

As for the other comment, it is my opinion. I'm sorry if you were offended by it, but it is what I think. I do not think it is best, but like the rest of the comment said, I'd rather see a child on a leash than left to run. I was asked what do I think when I see others using leashes, this is what I think. I can't make a choice for another family, but again it is my opinion. It was not meant to be rude or insulting, and I'm sorry if you feeling were hurt by it because that was not my intention.


I'd be interested if anyone would share an example of how they used a leash as a teaching tool, maybe I just need to be educated on the topic. All I have heard so far it is that people use them and some reasons why they use them, but not how they used them as a teaching tool.

[greenrobin]

When my big kids were little kids, the only type available was the wrist kind. My oldest daughter got bumped in the mall one time when she was 2 1/2. Her hand and mine were separated and in the holiday crush, she got swept backward in the traffic. I never lost sight of her, but it scared her (and me!) all the same. That was the day she insisted on a "hand holder."

We went to the store and bought it and she made sure it was on securely before we went anywhere. She was very proud of her hand holder.

Yes, it looks like a leash. So what? My baby was safe, had a little freedom, and never got separated again.

I'm not afraid of what anybody wants to think. My job was to keep my little girl safe and secure. She was happier knowing she wouldn't get lost.

She's 24 and is doing her student teaching. We don't need the hand holder anymore!