[meshsgrl]

I have a 2 yr old (M) who is very afraid of the bathtub. I was warned by her previous fparents that this was a problem.
I have only had her for a couple days.
She has shown signs of sexual abuse.
She seemed afraid of her bed the first day, but that problem was solved when I had her be the last one to bed... by the time everyone else had their time with me on the rocker, she was jealous enough to want to go to bed!! LOL but so far she hasnt gotten jealous enough to want to take a bath!! LOL

I stood her in the bath and washed her off... sometimes I wonder if its a control thing....but then again, she has a lot of anxiety and fears.

any advice would be appreciated

[Gentin]

When I got my FD she hated bath time as well. She would not sit, she would not let me clean her and she would scream when I dried her off. I worked slowly getting her used to the tub and talked quietly to her while I bathed her. I made sure her towel was ready when she got out and it took about 8 months before she was better. I think the breaking point for her was when another family member(girl) needed a tub at my house and she watched her and saw how much fun she was having. She wanted to get in the tub and ever since she has loved the bath. I don't know if there was any sexual abuse - but it was hard to get her used to it. Keep your head up and be patient - I hope that after a while of being with you and seeing that you are safe she might get better.

[shycar]

My fd Punky used to hate baths. She would scream and stiffen up. I decided one day to let my dd (age 2) get in with her. Punky was so busy playing having fun that she did not noticed she was actually having a bath. Now she loves the water and baths.

[meshsgrl]

My fd Punky used to hate baths. She would scream and stiffen up. I decided one day to let my dd (age 2) get in with her. Punky was so busy playing having fun that she did not noticed she was actually having a bath. Now she loves the water and baths.


I do have a bathtime baby doll, and bath foam, I also let her come into the bathroom when I am bathing the 3 yr old. but she still refuses to get close to the bathtub... her brother is the same way. But he is only 11 mo old so it is easier to work with.
She also has a headful of beautiful hair, how am I ever going to get this washed?!?!?

[SarahBethsMommy]

Originally Posted by meshsgrl

She also has a headful of beautiful hair, how am I ever going to get this washed?!?!?

Might she let you wash it while she layed on the counter in the kitchen with her head hanging over the kitchen sink?

My DD really hates getting her hair washed (loves baths, hates washing hair) but she lets me do it this way. We call it playing hair salon. It is easier to get all the soap out that way too.

[NicoleP80]

Oh that has to be so hard. I think there comes a time where you just have to do it. That is so heart breaking. Overtime this little one is going to learn you arnt going to abuse her. Can you try getting a shower attachment to wash her hair with her standing? Would she feel more comfy wearing a swimsuit or even t-shirt and water diaper in the bath?

Good luck! Sometimes just getting the process and over with helps show them "there is nothing to be afraid of" but then again it could have the adverse effects and tramatize her even more.

What does her SW say?

[greenrobin]

When Sissy came here a year ago, she would cry and scream like the bath was hurting her. In desperation I got a big bottle of bubbles. When she got in the bath, I'd blow bubbles on her. At first she cried when the bubbles touched her, but then she got used to the feeling. Before the end of the first bath bubble event, she almost smiled.

It took several days to get her used to the idea that bathing was fun. She loved bath bubbles, though. And, I blew a LOT of bubbles into her hair and then made a big happy face over rinsing her hair out with water in a cup. She liked pouring the water over her own head.

Because a bath freaked her out so much, we eventually switched to showers. After learning that water was fun and felt good, she seemed to enjoy the freedom of wandering around under the running water.

She's been here a year and we're just now being asked for a bath instead of a shower, and only every once in awhile.

[millie58]

L, who was 6 when I got him, also screamed at getting in the tub. I would let him wash up in the sink. After awhile (as he got older), it appeared that he needed more. so I would let him wash up in the sink, and rinse in the shower. He then loved it!!! It did take awhile!!

Originally Posted by greenrobin

When Sissy came here a year ago, she would cry and scream like the bath was hurting her. In desperation I got a big bottle of bubbles. When she got in the bath, I'd blow bubbles on her. At first she cried when the bubbles touched her, but then she got used to the feeling. Before the end of the first bath bubble event, she almost smiled.

It took several days to get her used to the idea that bathing was fun. She loved bath bubbles, though. And, I blew a LOT of bubbles into her hair and then made a big happy face over rinsing her hair out with water in a cup. She liked pouring the water over her own head.

Because a bath freaked her out so much, we eventually switched to showers. After learning that water was fun and felt good, she seemed to enjoy the freedom of wandering around under the running water.

She's been here a year and we're just now being asked for a bath instead of a shower, and only every once in awhile.

[Jensboys]

I was going to suggest the shower, as well as wearing a bathing suit if that would help her. Kitchen sink ... washing her hair in the shower, or taking her swimming at a pool to get her used to the idea of water with a bathing suit on. If it helps her to feel protected, its probably worth it.

[meshsgrl]

I dont think she would do a shower... it seems the running water is almost as bad as the getting into the tub!
I am going to try washing her hair in the kitchen sink... never thought about that!!
thank you for all the wonderful advice, I know it will probably just take time.. just didnt want to make it worse for her

[CaddoRose]

Maybe you could do something more along the lines of a sponge bath by getting the water ready before hand so she doesn't even know what the pan of water is for. I would suggest using a large pot or anything that could hold about 4 qts of water. Johnson and Johnson makes a baby washcloth that is disposable and scented with lavender. These are great because the soap is already in there. Some plastic baby tubs are big enough for a 2 yr old to stand in.If not a baby tub, then maybe sit her at the sink on a towel. This way you could get her clean without the big tub or the water scaring her.

I would also suggest to wash her hair at a different time at the sink. This way she isn't doing two new things at once and when you wash her hair, you could let her stay dressed. It can also help to get a bath doll which she can bathe the same way you bathe her. I would even go so far as to let her wash her dolls hair the same way.

[Kelly Rae]

Our dd came at one, and she hated the bath as well. She was sexually abused and her older sister tried to drown her. She has and had tons of hair which she loved putting her food in. I tried so many different things and honestly I didn't find a magic cure, but would have everything as organized as possible so I could have her washed and dressed in under 5 minutes. It took a long time for her to get over this, but in time she learned to trust me.

[thelowlanders]

My FD and cousins here for a while had big issues with bath tub. I don't know if it's right, because we're new at this whole foster parenting way of raising kids. But we just washed em screams and all. Speaking quietly things like you'r fine, here's a waterfall, hey you're a snowman, etc. But with mine in the long run, I've learned she's VERY manipulative for attention in many things. So for these girls, just not showing emotional reaction, and just getting it done, they quickly learned to just relax and enjoy the bath. That was within a week.

You'll know your child with time. Whether they're actually afraid or keeping your attention

[meshsgrl]

My FD and cousins here for a while had big issues with bath tub. I don't know if it's right, because we're new at this whole foster parenting way of raising kids. But we just washed em screams and all. Speaking quietly things like you'r fine, here's a waterfall, hey you're a snowman, etc. But with mine in the long run, I've learned she's VERY manipulative for attention in many things. So for these girls, just not showing emotional reaction, and just getting it done, they quickly learned to just relax and enjoy the bath. That was within a week.

With this child... the only way to jsut put her in, would be to get in myself and we would end up soaking wet!! I thought about doing that.. but was afraid it would just make it more tramatic for her.

[lucmarmic]

My girls to were scared of the bath tub and bathroom in general. I later found out that lots of punishment happened in the bathroom.

So l leave the bathroom door open when we are in there. I also started by just putting engouh water in the tub to cover the bottom, just engough for them to feel it. I sponged them off and they had such little hair it worked for me. Gradually as they got used to the water I put more and more in.

My mom on the other hand when she babysat them she gave them a bath in the sink. They didn't cry or scream, they loved it. Now when I do dishes they come in the kitchen and strip down thinking they will get a bath in the sink. But they are getting bigger and they don't fit, but they have that memory and want to try it again.