[Sam-N-Tony]

Sorry this is just a vent...

How come all everyone has to stick their 2 cents in, when its not called for.

I'm in the breakroom at work, and we are talking about potty training etc. Now Mr. Touchy will be 3 in November. We have started potty training sorta, we've been working on it for about 6 months, he's about 1 year delayed, speech, emotionally, behaviorally and developmentally. We have him go to the potty every time we change his diaper, he will go on cue but does not tell you he has to go. We have never done just straight underwear and pull ups confuse him. The straight underwear would be fine if he didn't like to be wet, which he doesn't care, he's actually a dumper. Dumps water, cups, foods anything on himself. Anyway, the girl in my office says, "OMG he's not trained yet, my kids were trained at 2 and they had mastered it almost immediately", I said "Well, he's delayed", she said "that has nothing to do with it". Are you freakin kidding me... I just walked away, before I flipped out.

Why does everything think they are the professional parent???? I'm no expert but jeez.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading. Any stories of unwanted advise??

[reesegayla]

How rediculous! It has everything to do with it! How many children with special needs has she raised?

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony

Now Mr. Touchy will be 3 in November. Anyway, the girl in my office says, "OMG he's not trained yet, my kids were trained at 2 and they had mastered it almost immediately",

Oh my gosh. Hanna was 3 when she started using the potty on a regular basis and she's not delayed. She just wasn't interested and I didn't want to push it. For me, it wasn't a big deal if she was potty-trained at 2 or at 4, as long as she wasn't wearing diapers to school. . In fact, it was the idea of going to school that got her interested in using the potty. Our pediatrician said kids are ready to use the potty when they wake up dry in the morning. Well, she's 3 years and 4 months and STILL wakes up wet.

And as for the co-worker, it wasn't her kids who were trained. She "mastered" the art of putting the kids on the potty every five minutes and following them around the house the rest of the time so they wouldn't pee on the furniture!

[spitzlvr]

OOhh - I feel for you!!
I have one with unasked for (and useless) advice. My daughter (who is now 2 1/2) doesn't eat much - and is very small. It is more noticeable because my son (6 1/2) is a bruiser - he is off the top of the charts in height/weight while my daughter is off the bottom.

Well, at a doc visit back when she was about 1, my doc wanted us to limit her water intake. Not that drinking water is bad, but he felt if she was going to drink, he wanted it to be something with calories.
He also suggested higher calorie versions of what she would eat - she likes pudding? make sure to get full fat.

So, my mom's opinon on this? Well, she thinks he is dead wrong on the water - she feels that most of her liquid intake should be water - it is 'better' for her.

And the food? She thinks we are just grooming her to be fat!!! FAT!!! She will be 3 in January. She is about 25lbs, wearing 18 month pants. We have her on pediasure just to make sure she is getting nutrients!!!

Sigh. It still bothers me

[linda512]

My son has no delays, will also be 3 in November and is not using the potty. He has no interest and I don't want to waste energy on trying when he is not ready. I know he will get someday.
Tell whoever said that to get a life!

[vernellinnj]

Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony

Sorry this is just a vent...

How come all everyone has to stick their 2 cents in, when its not called for.

I'm in the breakroom at work, and we are talking about potty training etc. Now Mr. Touchy will be 3 in November. We have started potty training sorta, we've been working on it for about 6 months, he's about 1 year delayed, speech, emotionally, behaviorally and developmentally. We have him go to the potty every time we change his diaper, he will go on cue but does not tell you he has to go. We have never done just straight underwear and pull ups confuse him. The straight underwear would be fine if he didn't like to be wet, which he doesn't care, he's actually a dumper. Dumps water, cups, foods anything on himself. Anyway, the girl in my office says, "OMG he's not trained yet, my kids were trained at 2 and they had mastered it almost immediately", I said "Well, he's delayed", she said "that has nothing to do with it". Are you freakin kidding me... I just walked away, before I flipped out.

Why does everything think they are the professional parent???? I'm no expert but jeez.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading. Any stories of unwanted advise??

I can sooo relate. My FS is 4 and has been perfectly trained on the # 1 for well over a year. Has just started to work on the # 2 and this is after MUCH coaxing. Doesn't help that I practically have to make him eat veggies hence he often (I think) is constipated. He is attending school in pull-ups and guess what..I refuse to stress over it. He's making a lot of progress since going to the township school...now that he's not in the daycare all day I think he's a bit embarrassed by it. But, I just continue to encourage him. He will not be a senior in HS in pull-ups..I assure you.

And, to all the "Oh my God....." people out there, shut up! Yes, you heard me..."shut up"!

[jbee]

dd5, i tried at 2.5, got frustrated, ended up training at 3 by herself. dd almost 4 i just waited until 3 and she did it herself. ds is now 2.5 and asked to go on the potty today, so i am casually letting him. none of them are delayed.
your co worker sounds like a butthead. can i say that, lol? your kid is absolutely fine!

[chevyjewel]

That's not unwanted advice, that's just downright nastiness!!!

Not sure I'd of been able to walk away from such ignorance. When a kid picks it up doesn't make them better or worse than any other kid, it just matters that they eventually do. I can't believe that woman was moronic enough to compare her children, suggesting they're actually better than someone elses, over something as stupid as pee LOL!

My kids pediatrician has told me the average child is between 3 and 4 when they get started, with girls usually having an easier time with it than boys. From the sounds of it Mr. Touchy, despite any delay's he's got, is doing wonderful if he's already got pees down when they're suggested. My daughter picked it up a couple of months before she turned 3 and my son a couple of months before he turned 4. Like vernellinnj's FS it took him much longer to master his poos then his pees.


Another couple of stories of (ridiculous) unwanted advice, my daughter sucked on her middle and ring fingers together instead of her thumb to comfort herself as a baby and toddler. An elderly woman and her friend were behind me in the checkout line at the grocery store this one day and they swore to me she was "slow" because she did that. They actually suggested I make her stop because that might suppress some of her "upcoming delays."

It's also been suggested to me by a few of my family members that since I refuse to put my kids in daycare that they'll be undersocialized outcast loners that'll never leave home the rest of their lives. Yeah, that's why my daughter was the one happily waving good bye to me and telling me it's ok to leave her (as I was the one in tears) on her first day of kindergarten this year. Came home from that first day to four parents calling me to introduce themselves (!) because she'd given four new friends she'd made that very first day our home phone number in an attempt to set up playdates. Yeah, that's antisocial behavior if I ever did see it LOL!

Where's a nutso smilie when you need one???!

[Boulderbabe]

Recruiting opportunity! I say, "Wow, it sounds like you're really good at this. You'd make a great foster parent. Now here's the number for Social Services, and you'll want to talk to So and So....."

[shycar]

Ok this is not unwanted advice, but just comments that make me burn.

There is this lady at my sons school. Her dd is in the same class as my ds. Ok my son is in first and they do not allow 1st grader to just walk out, we have to make a line and ask for the child and they bring them out. Well this lady just seems to looove to say dumb things. I tell dh she is a no brainer. She gives comments that just burn me and I just want to sock her a good one. I know she is not trying to be mean she just does not think. She gives dumb comments everyday. Here are some of her comments....

"Hey everyone if you need a sitter, "lue" (me) loves to take in kids, just drop them off at her place" aaarrrrgggg, no I dont want your kids, Im the one who needs a break.

"I could never do that, I would just keep them all. I would fall inlove with all of them." Yup Im heartless I do this becouse I enjoy the sleepless nights, babies screaming, love to be punched kicked and pinched...its a passion of mine.

This one really ticks me off--"You are soooooo lucky. You can just pick and choose which one you want....you can just try them out and see if you like them and keep them and if not give them away" WHAT OOOOOOH I almost lost it. I just smiled and walked away. I was very close to being nasty and I dont like to be nasty especially to someone I see almost everyday. But one of these days I know Im going to lose it.

[chevyjewel]

Holy frights shy!!!!!

[MommyAlysia]

its normal for kids with no delays to be PT'd after age 3, she has no idea what she is talking about (obviously). My ds will be 3 in Jan and he isn't Pt'd either. He is getting there but he still has a ways to go .

[ALfostermom]

i can completely relate....what's worse is having friends and co workers who have never had kids much less been around kids to give advice. my fs is 2.5 and he wakes up completely soaked--if he asks i take him to the potty but i'm not stressing or even trying to pt him....his pediatrician says a childs mind cannot completely comprehend pt until atleast 3yrs old. why try now when he is going home in a couple of months and would probably backslide anyway....tell your co-worker to back off and keep her opinions to herself....like my parents taught me if you have nothing nice to say -say nothing.....good luck and remeber you are doing a good job.

[mommy2fiveplus]

I agree with the poster that said she didn't train her kid she trained herself. My kids were all different DS1 potty trained at age 3, DD2 trained at 15 mos (she just decided to use the big potty and take off her diapers) and she is 7 mos younger than DS1, DD2 was daytime trained by age 2 but STILL wets almost every night at age 4 1/2, DD3 has ZERO interest in potty training, except if we are out in public and she gets to use the hand blow dryer afterward (she is 2 1/2). EVER kid is different, they know when they are ready it is NORMAL to not be fully potty trained until Kindergarten.

If people are going to criticize anybody for something it ought to be the things that actually endanger kids, no something as insignificant as potty training.

People who compare thier kids to other kids are insecure.

[c.a]

My son is three and a half. If he is naked he uses the potty. If he has underwear on he uses the potty half of the time. Pull-ups - forget it. He just doesn't care. Tried skittles, tried jelly beans, tried stickers. Doesn't care. If he has other things to do - he won't stop and use the potty. Oh well - can't blame him. I sometimes wish I didn't have to stop what I am doing to use the potty.

But I'm really sick of people telling me that I need to cut his hair. I always want to say "Oh my GOD - I didn't notice - is it really long?"

I know his hair is long - I see it every day. It is that way because we like it. Leave me alone.