[jeni-b]

IMHO using the potty isn't something we can "teach" our kids, it is a skill they learn by recognizing their own body cues. To say we "train" them is definately training ourselves.
As parents we introduce it, but it's in their court as to when they put the puzzle together.

People need to chillax and worry about the real important things and not stick their noses where they don't belong. I think I may have told that woman if she had the key to PT, then I'd be happy to drop off my child for a lesson.

[mommy2fiveplus]

Just had to chime in and comiserate!

My 11 mos old son has tons of huge curly black hair (think Chuckie from rugrats x10) and I get tons of people saying he needs a haircut, we don't plan to cut it until he is a year old and when people realize we still have a month to go they give us "looks".

Even my mom has started in on us about it!

[stevenstwin]

Ouch - I don't even like making this a "delayed" or "special needs" issue - my bio daughter who is very, very bright was no reliably potty trained until she was three!

[aclee]

I don't like to pat myself on the back about anything (even if I do sometimes, I TRY not to) I think sometimes with foster care (and even adoption) other people get the "I'm just as good as you" jealousies...so they feel the need to speak up and tell everyone how their kids (and of course, they as parents) are awesome amazing and wonderful, even if they don't foster/adopt/reach out to children in need...My sister is highly competitive of the fact I adopted a child, who ended up "beating" her son to be the first grandson by 3 months (seriously, she cares and complains to everyone and says we "cheated") ...and as beautiful as her children are, mine is AA!!! She's constantly calling to tell me how enormously large her son is. Congrats on starting cereal with a 3.5 month old for no medical reason when he was already 90% in weight and 40% in height...I guess if having the biggest kid makes you happy...that works. (snarky much?) Ty is a peanut (she loves to call him petite and then laugh and say that sounds feminine!) People can be very jealous about others lives and children...People are stupid!

Course the comment about the child being delayed having nothing to do with it...that one blows my mind.

[sergekel]

I don't have any FK yet but I do have 3 bios.

I have NEVER potty trained my kids. They did it themselves.

I watched other people driving themselves and the kids crazy with the potty training thing and I swore I would never do it to my kids. I watch grown adults pile shame and guilt on little kids. Criminal!

I just keep my kids in diapers or pull-ups until they start asking to go potty. Yeah, it takes 3-4 years...but we have never had any kind of stress, tears or issue with toilet using.

All 3 of them did the same thing. When they were ready, they decided to use the potty and never used a diaper again. And you know what? They never, ever had accidents, either.

I honestly believe that well-meaning parents give their kids complexes about going to the bathroom....the kids end up constipated, ashamed and with low-self esteem. Little kids..babies!! Crazy.

Let that obnoxious lady drive her own kids nuts with the toilet. She'll be the one cleaning up messes in the end.

Oh, and I wanted to add that I have always had unsolicited advice from family and friends who made snide comments about "Isn't it time they used the toilet??? They're too old to be going in their pants!" I just ignored them or said that they'd use the toilet when they were ready and I left it at that. I have no time in my day for people that are on their own agenda and have no respect for other people, especially children.

[EandDmom]

We got it from the kids pediatrician last week. She had a fit he was 2 1/2 and not potty trained. He still wakes up totally wet every morning and every day we ask if he is wet or dirty and he always says no. He could have the nastiest diaper on and will say no I'm not dirty. He has no desire to even sit on a potty chair. He is so not even close to starting potty training. I used to run a home daycare and I have potty trained at least 10 kids so I know a thing or two about it. We just nodded and smiled and let her have her fit about it. I told dh if she wants him potty trained so much I'll gladly drop him off everyday and she can work on it with him.

[marigold]

Hi all I kust wanted to chime in here. I was at one time a nosey "still not potty trained?!?" person. Please forgive me! I am a daycare/preschool teacher in everything from toddlers to threes so potty training takes up alot of my day! I have had parents come to me and requst my class because I have a reputation to potty train kids faster. However I have now relized it is more of the social aspect of the potty at daycare that attracts the kids than being potty trained and at school when everyone else is going it seems like fun and it is less pressure for the other kids to at least try. There is even compitition between the kids. Now I am a foster mother of three boys and though my two and a half year old is fully potty trained and my new two is already liking the potty thing, I have no clue on how to keep my five yearold intuned with his body. He wets every night and is only potty trained durring the day if you have regular "potty breaks." If I miss one time of warning him to use a potty we will have an accident. So even though it bothers me just a little that my nephew is also two and a half and my sister hasn't even thought about potty training I have learned that I am no expert. There is no such thing as a right time to be potty trained, and yes that it is more often than not the parent who is well trained not the child!

[hubbyswife]

My oldest daughter started PT when she turned two, she was getting it but then we got a baby girl and she regressed, until she was about 2 1/2 she decided one weekend no more pull-ups so that was that.

My son, he was not interested in PT at all. We tried and he just wouldn't get it so we decided to stop and wait. Right after he turned 3, he got it down.

My other daughter, I was soooo hoping she would become interested in the potty when we were working w our son. She's about 9 mths younger....But noooooo... she didn't. She'll b 3 in a few weeks and she is almost potty trained. She only wears underwear now and wakes up dry. When she started doing that, I knew she was ready.

So now we only have 1 in diapers and it's sooooo much easier than having 3 in diapers!!!

[Tuppy]

For us, our fs was 3.5 and not interested in potty training. However, he was keen to be like his new foster brothers (our boys, ages 8 and 10) and within a couple of weeks was totally trained, all by himself by wanting to be like the big guys.

Not wanting to be shown up his baby sister who was 2 made the decision to use the potty, too. She mastered pee before she could control poo. My bio-kids all seemed to do the reverse, but to each his own.

Now we have baby bro. who has not interest in the potty at all, but he is only 20 mos.

When we had three in diapers dh used to ask why we didn't just line their drawers with dollar bills!

[wantaskinbaby]

I have to chime in here, just to get this off my chest.

Our fs was NOT a good sleeper for the first 3 months that we had him (we got him when he was 13 days old).

I made a few trips to the vet during those early days (we have a special needs dog), looking, I'm sure, pretty tired considering that we had 48 hours notice that we were getting a newborn (we were expecting to get older children and had literally, three days before notification, finished our paper work) and one of the receptionists at our veterinarian's office (yes, at the vet) who has NO CHILDREN went on a 20 minute advice giving session on how I should just let our son cry it out - this was when he was about 8 weeks old - and how he was manipulating me by crying and how I should take some parenting classes like the one offered at her church.

I cannot believe how patient I was when I responded to her with a polite thank you for your advice.

Of course, a month later, we learned that our little man was allergic to milk AND soy, and had eczema so badly that he COULDN'T sleep and the VERY NIGHT that we treated his eczema with topical steroids, he slept for 6 or 7 hours and has slept through the night, between 8 and 11 hours every night, since then with only a couple of exceptions.

I am SO GLAD that I didn't let him cry it out. First off, 8 weeks is just too young, secondly, he's a foster child and I'm going to do everything I can to help him form secure attachments, and thirdly, he was miserable, he wasn't manipulating (which some of the child psychologists that I most trust say they don't really master until about one year), he couldn't sleep because he was ITCHING TO DEATH.

It is all I can do to be civil to this woman now. She even told me that her bachelor's degree is in early childhood development. Sheesh! What in the world did they teach her in school? And is this why she's working at the vet instead of with children?

[csisemore]

I have three birth children and we are just beginning our journey into foster care. My children all potty trained at different times and in different ways. They will potty train when they are ready.

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by shycar

Ok this is not unwanted advice, but just comments that make me burn.

There is this lady at my sons school. Her dd is in the same class as my ds. Ok my son is in first and they do not allow 1st grader to just walk out, we have to make a line and ask for the child and they bring them out. Well this lady just seems to looove to say dumb things. I tell dh she is a no brainer. She gives comments that just burn me and I just want to sock her a good one. I know she is not trying to be mean she just does not think. She gives dumb comments everyday. Here are some of her comments....

"Hey everyone if you need a sitter, "lue" (me) loves to take in kids, just drop them off at her place" aaarrrrgggg, no I dont want your kids, Im the one who needs a break.

"I could never do that, I would just keep them all. I would fall inlove with all of them." Yup Im heartless I do this becouse I enjoy the sleepless nights, babies screaming, love to be punched kicked and pinched...its a passion of mine.

This one really ticks me off--"You are soooooo lucky. You can just pick and choose which one you want....you can just try them out and see if you like them and keep them and if not give them away" WHAT OOOOOOH I almost lost it. I just smiled and walked away. I was very close to being nasty and I dont like to be nasty especially to someone I see almost everyday. But one of these days I know Im going to lose it.

I've had several of those comments myself and they can be irritating. I haven't heard the last one...that was nasty. It's hard to believe people can be so insensitive.