[MassachusettsMom]

I'm working on a letter to send to family and friends who have supported us through the process of loosing our little boy (who was a pre-adoptive placement and RUed). Lots of people have asked how they can help our former FS and other children in foster care, and I haven't had a good answer. So now I want to let them know how they can help. I need some ideas.

Other than becoming a foster parent themselves, how can family and friends help children in foster care? Let's hear your ideas!!

[Sam-N-Tony]

Taking the kids out (if they are allowed too) for shopping trips or a day out at the beach. Spend extra time with them, playing and talking with them.

[SarahBethsMommy]

Depends on what your county does I guess. In our county we have lots of people who volunteer who aren't foster parents. They can buy things like diapers, clothes, and such.

We also have a lot of people who make packets to be given to emergency placements. They put in things like toothbrush, toothpaste, other hygiene items, underware and socks. They'll get lots of sizes and label the outside with what size it is for. So when a child gets picked up and don't have time to get anything, they'll send one of those packets to the foster family to get them by for a day.

The other thing our county does is have volunteers supervise visits. They have to go through a training, but then it is basically just that they pick the foster child and take them to their visit and supervise it.

It all depends on what your county allows, I guess.

[jbee]

i agree with watching the kids for just a little while...do you know how hard it is to find a 'sitter' for three teenage boys? right now we are allowed to send them to other fp in our agency, but it is a burden to them (i feel) to have our three over plus theirs, and no one lives in our town so we would have to drive them a half hour away to other fp homes. we are allowed to have someone come here who's over 18, and can leave 2 of the three at trusted people's homes, but it is hard to stick all three somewhere at once to get a little break and have 'family time' with our little forever family. so 'babysitting' if allowed, would be a great help!
it also helps to just be another adult in the kid's lives who isn't a parent, kind of like a friend...just talking to the kids like normal kids, taking an interest in them.

[fredalina]

My state has contracted with a private agency to provide mentors to every child in foster care (who wants one) over the age of 8 in the state. Of course volunteers are desperately needed as they can't fulfill that need, but i would definitely list becoming a mentor on your list, if it's available where you live.

The purpose of a mentor for a foster kid is to provide one adult who does not change in their lives, when they are moved from foster home to foster home or pre-adoptive placement.

i became a mentor to a 12 year old girl in foster care. Unfortunately her pre-adoptive foster mom is not supportive of the project so it came to an end , but it could definitely do a lot of good for kids in need.

[AmyAnne]

Become a Respite Care Provider. Respite Care Providers are greatly needed to give the Foster Parents time to rejuvenate.

[MassachusettsMom]

I was also thinking that they could become CASA advocates.

DCF also recruits volunteers to sit in on foster care reviews (along with the social workers) and give feedback on the case-- but I can't remember what they are called...

Or call/write to your state legislators when a child welfare-related bill comes up for a vote.

[Heyheather]

We are the only foster parents in our church and so many people wanted to help so they've come up with bringing us meals on a regular basis. I think some people maybe "nervous" to babysit but having a meal helps me out which helps the kids out. Lately, one older woman who is also a neighbor has come over to watch the youngers while I take my older son to soccer until my DH comes home.

[ca-bigsister]

I was a Volunteer Big Sister before I was a foster parent. Volunteer Big Brothers are especially needed to mentor young boys and teens. Some Little Brothers are foster children; many aren't.

You can go to Volunteering - Volunteer work and volunteer programs with Big Brothers Big Sisters.
and click on volunteering to see about being a Big Brother/Big Sister in your area.

In addition, I was also a CASA. I agree that's a great way to help foster children, too.

National CASA

[mommy2fiveplus]

In our area, many of the younger foster kids go to Headstart Programs (preschool) those places never seem to have enough positive male influences (all the staff are typically female) and I know ours welcome male volunteers in the classrooms. The guys have to get a quick clearence through the local DHS (fill out one paper/takes about a week to come back) but there is no committment so they can just go when they have time.

I think it would be a great way for kids who have had little/no POSITVE male role models to see a few different men who are making good choices.

[MassachusettsMom]

Last call - any more ideas?

[brighteyes810]

They could give to local organizations that help foster kids. For example, there is an organization in the Seattle area called Treehouse that has clothing, car seats, and toys for foster children, they also provide tutoring, mentoring, pay for piano or dance lessons, send kids to camp, etc.

There is an organization called Orphan Foundation of America that offers a virtual mentor program (e-mail based over the computer) for kids aging out of the foster care system. This you can do from anywhere on a schedule that works for you.

[krajewskim]

Our foster parent organization takes donations of things like suitcases, carseats, school supplies, clothes, etc. We also get help and supply DHHR with packets for placements and for packets for newborns at the hospitals. Some ladies in our church knit blankets for the babies and little kids. Also, it has helped in our house, that all of our younger children are given a bear and a blanket on their 1st day with us. Many come with nothing and this kind of a "Security item" really helps. Our foster organization is also gathering items to house at DHHR. Sometimes kids in our area are removed before a placement can be found for them and they have to sit around and wait and DHHR until one can be found. We are putting together snacks (food & drink) coloring books, videos, magazines, small toys, etc. anything that can help them pass the time. I also give kudos to those who suggested being respite providers or CASA workers. Goodness knows we could use more of both!

[Robbin]

Christmas is coming up...Angel Trees are a good idea or some counties accept direct donations of xmas gifts that they give out to kids. I always encourage gifts for boys b/c it is so easy for girls...dolls, barbies, etc. For boys you could get Leggos, skate boards, scooters, trucks, action figures, etc.