[ATXMOM]

My 4 year old son just came in and told me our 5 year old foster son has stuck his finger in my sons bottom. Needless to say we are in shock. It is too early to call everyone involved with the case, and I am about to go out of my mind! Obviously I want to terminate. Can anyone tell me what is going to happen with all of this? Has anyone delt with this before?

[afamilythroughfoster]

How scary! I haven't dealt specifically with this issue (thank God) so take my advice for what it's worth...I would call the SW to ask for advice and if I couldn't get her immediately, I would keep going up the ladder.
Did you ask your fs to account for this?

[BrandyHagz]

Hotline it.

You're a mandated reported and a child has just told you about abuse. You really need to call the hotline, now.

I also wouldn't talk to the child about it (we were instructed not to in class) and let the professionals handle it.

Good luck.

[Stormster]

Omigoodness I'm so sorry for both children and for you. I hope everything turns out ok (or as OK as possible for you all)

[aclee]

Completely agree with Brandy...hotline it now, and don't talk to the children about it...I know that sounds awful, but this needs to be handled by professionals. Obviously don't leave them alone, even if they are sleeping. Something needs to be done about it today, so don't be put off till Monday. MAKE them come today.

Good Luck...

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by Stormster

Omigoodness I'm so sorry for both children and for you. I hope everything turns out ok (or as OK as possible for you all)

I'm so sorry to hear this. Obviously you already know what to DO...so you have my thoughts and prayers as you deal with this.

[ATXMOM]

I tried to call the CPS worker, but she didn't answer. So I called the agency we work through and they are going to try to have him removed, but they can't do that with out CPS permission and CPS has 30 days to move the child. That is going to make it really hard for me because he has a 10 year old sister and a 1 year old sister. The 10 year old is always doing thing to the 1 year old like hurting her when I'm not looking. I have to keep the 1 year old with me at all times and make sure they are never alone. Now I have to keep the 5 year old boy away from my 4 year old son. This is like a nightmare that may not end for a month! I am not talking to the foster boy or my son about it. Their is going to be an investigation and I don't want any of the information scued because I asked too many questions. They may be able to put the 5 year old in respite for two weeks until they find a home for him.

[reesegayla]

I don't mean to be the devils advocate here but is there any chance that this was just boys being curious? I know when my brothers were that age, my mom caught them showing each other their boy parts and comparing. I would of course, still talk to the caseworker about it but does this child have a sexual history? I just think it is possible you could be labeling this child for the rest of his life over something that could have been totally innocent.

[mrstkg1]

You need to hotline this, they can do an emergency removal. Find out what the 800 number for child abuse in your state is and call them and tell them you need this investigated today. You can't wait to go through their agency, because, while this is shocking to you, they deal with that and so much more they aren't really shocked anymore, but the hotline is staffed to take care of these sort of things.

[mommytoEli]

i was under the impression that if it involved an emergency a child could be removed on the same day. i'd call again. i'm pretty sure if he is hurting other children and is a danger to other children he could be removed today. and i agree...call the general hotline number to cps, not the boy's worker.

[CaddoRose]

Your agency is dragging it's feet. I agree with the other posters this is an emergency situation and in this case, he can be removed today. You can either call the agency again and tell them to remove him now, or call the hotline. Your agency may not feel like this is an emergency case, but we seem to all think it is.

[stevenstwin]

Hotline it!! They can NOT make you wait 30 days if a child is a danger to your other children! You have a right to pack him and his stuff up and take him right into the SW's office if necessary, although that is a very much last resort. Let me put it to you this way - if you know your son has been molested, HE could be considered a child in need of intervention if you don't remove the perpetrator, even if it is anotherone child.

ALSO - this needs to be investigated immediately in order to get reliable information from either child. They aren't going to be credible if this drags on for weeks before anyone talks to them. It is essential both for your son's safety, and to get the appropriate help for your FS as fast as possible.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by reesegayla

I don't mean to be the devils advocate here but is there any chance that this was just boys being curious? I know when my brothers were that age, my mom caught them showing each other their boy parts and comparing. I would of course, still talk to the caseworker about it but does this child have a sexual history? I just think it is possible you could be labeling this child for the rest of his life over something that could have been totally innocent.

I think this is highly unlikely - a little bit of looking might be "normal curiosity" but I think the insertion of a finger into a body orifice is NOT an idea a five year old comes up with on his own. While there is no need for this to be a "label" that follows him for the rest of his life, it IS important that his caregivers be aware of it so they can be part of the healing (and not endanger other children). But the bottom line is that this isn't a decision we, as foster parents, get to make. We are mandated reporters, and then the Socil Workers have to decide what is appropriate. Would I allow him to stay in the home with a child he has already perpetrated on? I think that would be setting the stage for future "experimentation". At the very least, the caregiver would need to install door alarms and be constantly vigilant every moment of every day,.

[afamilythroughfoster]

You should do what your instincts tell you...but my when my son was 3yo, he said another boy pulled on his peepee. It turns out that ds had undescended testicles that were causing him pain and he couldn't verbalize that. I'm just adding a little to ressegayla's post

[ATXMOM]

I called the hotline and he is being removed today. He is going to live with the people who have always done respite for us, so he knows them and he will be the only child for a while. I think there is going to be an investigation, but both of his sister have already been called in to the hotline by the social worker and an investigation is under way. There is a lot going on in this case. They have been waiting for more stuff to come out. A lot of other things in his behaviors make sense now. Even if it is little kids playing, it is not a risk I am willing to take. I only have one kid and I don't want him to grow up to hate me because I allowed foster kids to molest him.