[deadcalm]

Hi

My fd is s/b moving to her grandma (biodad's mom) in PA., who has just received her foster care license. Currently, Munckin has weekly visits with her mom, who is in a drug program and doing very well. Since the biomom lives in N.Y., does the grandmother have to bring the baby to N.Y. every week for a visit? The biomom wanted her baby to stay with me, because Munckin constantly cries everytime the grandmother is around (for some reason the baby's spirit does not take to grandmother). But, the judge ordered that she be transfered to her grandmother, until the biomom finishes her program.

I understand that the courts want the children with the family. But, why send her to another state just to turn around and send her back to N.Y when the biomom finishes her program in December?

Also, the grandmother does not want anything to do with the biomom. She is constantly saying horrible things about her and does not want her around Munckin. I would feel really bad if the grandmother try to turn Munchkin against her mother. The biomom really loves her daughter, but she is young and have made mistakes. And now, she is trying to rectify them.

[mommy2fiveplus]

I would say that the reason they are trying to do this is to protect the child's permanency. While it seems frustrating that the grandma is so against bmom, it reallly probably is the best place for the baby if you look at the situation long term. It is really hard to break a drug habit and even families who have kids in care that don't have drug problems have a difficult time getting kids back. The state probably figures that if bmom doesn't complete her plan at least the baby is where she will stay in the end.

If bmom really gets clean and finishes her case plan then she will get baby back, if she doesn't than at least the baby will be in the home where she will likely be adopted (if grandma went to the effort to get her foster license she is not likely to leave the baby behind after TPR).

The earlier the transition is made the better. Hopefully the grandma will realize that she is shooting herself in the foot by continuing to speak negatively about the mom.