[dakotabluebaby]

My husband and I have planned on becoming foster parents for the past..well year, There have been many delays, mostly because of us then in June we finished our home study, we were told beginning of Aug, now we are in Sept and we were told mid-end of Sept. Now we are at a point where I don't know if we could even afford to do this, before I was going to stay home, but I have a hard time justifying staying home when there are no kids and we are tight on money, SO if I go back to work I don't know If it would even make sense to foster because then we would be paying daycare for children that aren't ours making my pay check almost mute.

We wanted to do this so we could hopefully adopt one day. I have two rooms ready, every one knows, But now I am in a pile of Feeling sorry for myself and bills.

I don't know anymore if we should do this. I was SO excited and it is just taking SOOOOO long. on the one hand we have tons of stuff for the kids already and the case worker is nice, but on the other we will be getting $17 a day when day care is over $25. They said Daycare could be paid for but that there is a Long wait list and I don't think you can get on the wait list unless you are foster parenting and can't work unless you have day care.

I am a Christian and I felt God leading me to this, but he hasn't said anything in a while and I'm feeling Lost.

[Sam-N-Tony]

Your in a tough position. This is my advice, if you think you cannot financially afford to foster don't do it even though we do want foster families. I would check further into the daycare situation because usually (at least here) you are skip with wait list because you are a foster parent. I know with the day care agency there is alike a 6 month wait for "regular" people but we get skipped and done within 10 days of placement. If not see if you can get your name on the list now that way you are somewhat in place.

Have you thought about being just a respite home. That would probably work out best for you if the other doesn't work. Usually the other foster family have already set up all daycare etc.

Good luck. If you really feel like you can afford to this or stay at home, I say go for it. We need as many foster parents as possible.

[hermommy]

Originally Posted by dakotabluebaby

My husband and I have planned on becoming foster parents for the past..well year, There have been many delays, mostly because of us then in June we finished our home study, we were told beginning of Aug, now we are in Sept and we were told mid-end of Sept. Now we are at a point where I don't know if we could even afford to do this, before I was going to stay home, but I have a hard time justifying staying home when there are no kids and we are tight on money, SO if I go back to work I don't know If it would even make sense to foster because then we would be paying daycare for children that aren't ours making my pay check almost mute.

We wanted to do this so we could hopefully adopt one day. I have two rooms ready, every one knows, But now I am in a pile of Feeling sorry for myself and bills.

I don't know anymore if we should do this. I was SO excited and it is just taking SOOOOO long. on the one hand we have tons of stuff for the kids already and the case worker is nice, but on the other we will be getting $17 a day when day care is over $25. They said Daycare could be paid for but that there is a Long wait list and I don't think you can get on the wait list unless you are foster parenting and can't work unless you have day care.

I am a Christian and I felt God leading me to this, but he hasn't said anything in a while and I'm feeling Lost.

If you feel that God is leading you then I would follow Gods lead. He dont call the equiped he equipts the called. If this is Gods will he WILL make a way that you can stay home or he WILL make a way for the children to get into a day care. Good luck and God Bless

[hermommy]

I would also like to add sometimes these delays are there for a reason. Our homestudy got delayed several times. Finally when we where approved we where matched right away with a sibling group of 3. I was so excited I started buying things for these kids and hadnt gone to the interview yet. 3 days after the interview we where told that another family was chosen. I started crying and asking God what was I supposed to do. I didnt understand. almost a week later I got a call for a newborn baby. (MY DREAMS CAME TRUE). I am now in the adoption stage with her. I typed all this to let you know that if these delays, and me losing the chance to be a momma to the other children to hold my house free I would have never gotten my dd. I was told by my worker that there where case workers wanting to place children in my home but they held my home off until the decision came back about the sibiling group of 3. I now know why. God had a different plan. I just had to wait until she was born for his plan to come to sight. Hope this helps.

[CaddoRose]

Besides doing respite care, you could also only take school age children. This would help in terms of having to pay for daycare. Most of the day is in school and you might be able to find an after school program or a daycare for only after school. Other options are working part time and finding a Parents Day Out or Kinder Care program at a church for a younger child/baby.My FD goes on T & Th to PDO at $15 a day.

[DianeScraps]

Another option would be to ask your social worker if they know of a foster parent who does in-home day care.

They would probably not charge as much as a typical day care, are already familiar with the system and are more prepared to handle comments and situations that may come up with foster children.

[meshsgrl]

If you know clearly without a doubt that this is what God wants then He will also provide for you. I am jobless and went almost 2 months without kids. I have a small amount of unemployment coming in each month, but God has provided more then enough through other sources to pay for my monthly bills. I also have a decent savings to fall back on if needed. God will never be early or late. He is always RIGHT on time, remember this when you are worrying to much about the future.
Prayers

[onhazier]

What about doing in-home day care yourself? You'd be home for your kids and could take a few others to add to your household income.

[dakotabluebaby]

Thank you all so much for your replies.
HerMommy I really like what you said about God doesn't call the equip her equips those he calls.

I don't think I can do a day care in my home, because I have two large poodles and there are a LOT of SAHM in my area that do it. in another life I was a behavioral consultant...

It isn't so much that I couldn't get them into day care, its that the state won't pay for it, that's the waiting list. My husband said "what's the point of doing foster care if all your doing is paying to have the privilege of paying for someone else's child daycare all day" (As opposed to being able to stay home and help them) which I get. I had worked in a daycare long ago and there was this beautiful 1 yr old who was dropped off at 7 picked up at 6:30 and in bed by 8. It was two weeks before her parents found out she could walk.

I don't feel led to get another job, If I knew this was God's plan than I feel like ok I can have faith, but today I feel like maybe I am just being foolish. Trusting in God to take care of you is one thing, while sitting with your hand out waiting for something to appear is another.

[sergekel]

What if you got a job at a temp agency? They usually pay pretty well and you are not under any obligation to keep working for them after placement if you don't want to.

Could you alternate shifts with your hubby? This is how lots of families make money work while providing free 24-hour care for their little ones.

Another way is trading off with another mom needing child-care. You watch hers while she works and she watches yours while you work.

I've done it and it is hard but where there's a will there's a way and, like has been discussed, God will provide a way. Not always an easy or a convenient way, in my experience but He does provide in one way or another.

[dakotabluebaby]

So much of the past few months have pointed towards foster care, I prayed for supplies..was give TONS, I then said well maybe this is the way things always are, not a single offer since. I was worried about money before and it fell out of the sky (I had an accident 6 years ago settled 5 and oops they forgot to give me some of the settlement and my mortgage company over billed for escrow, so more)

Also, weird thing because I felt like God hasn't been there DH was out working, extremely thirsty and pissed because he wasn't asked to do more than originally thought (thus the need for water) and right as he says it a stranger asked him if he needed water and gave him two bottles.

BUT, my staying home rode on DH becoming a driver for UPS, he's been with the company for 7 years, but he is management not union SO they (insert favorite euphemism here) him and now he is part time for two months until peak in which they plan on using him again until Jan. So now I don't know what to do, this cuts our income by 60%.

Now what?

[hermommy]

wow that is tough. But through all that you have said in there God was there right on time in your time of need. You said that your hubby is down to part time. Maybe you could find a job that is part time as well. That way when he is at work you have the children and when you are at work he can take them. If you are in the will of God he WILL provide a way. He may not give you thousands but he can and will provide you your every need.
Good luck and God Bless

[EandDmom]

Well I can tell you we had $2000 in savings to have as back up income because we knew I would go down to just part time and possibly quit when we got our first placement. I did go to part time when the kids got here. In the first month we used $1500 of our savings. We did get 3 kids so that helped eat it up faster.

[hcg]

Is there another foster mom nearby who could look after another child while you were working?

I agree with PP - if God's putting you here, He will provide for you. Trusting and waiting are hard though!

[ca-bigsister]

This is my position. I pray to God and am Christian but I also look at my situation. I am a single parent but my mom helps out in the afternoon for school pickup and appointments.

It costs me a lot more each month for my FD than I get from the state. When I decided to take in my FD, I knew that she would need special services not provided for by the state. I did not want to always be waiting for the SW to get services. For myself, it is too stressful to always be at someone else's mercy waiting for them to do their job. If my FD needs services, then I get them and worry about reimbursement later. Mostly my SW gives me nothing. I pay for the lessons, etc. because FD needs them.

I think that you need to take care of yourself and your family (husband) first. When you are in a more comfortable financial position, then I would foster.

Fostering is way more stressful than I thought it would be. If there were financial stress on top of that, then I would really be crazed. This is just my opinion, and yes things can be provided by friends, extras, etc. But I would have a baseline for your foster children, and then accept the extras as gifts from God.

Just my thought.