[jllambert]

We have precious baby girl that is placed with us for legal risk adoption. We got baby "G" when she was 4 days old. She is going to be 8 months old in just a few days. Our main fight has been against her maternal grandmother. CPS does NOT want this baby placed with the her, and in the past two hearings the judge has denied placement with the grandmother as well. So we have felt very secure in our future with this beautiful baby.

The grandmother showed up at a visit with Our Baby "G" on Friday with her other granddaughter (a 5 month old baby). This baby was taken from the grandmothers other daughter when she was born drug addicted (this was in a different county and Differet CPS department). They did not place that baby with the grandmother at that time due to these same reasons our CPS department did not want her to have "G". Well at the visit she said they gave her the baby and she signed papers on her(I believe these were placement papers~not adoption papers).
This is the worst thing that could have happened for our case against the grandmother getting "G"! It is now much more likely that we could lose "G" to the grandmother now that that CPS department placed a child in her home!

The grandmother failed her home study, has DUI history, and is still on probation for the last DUI in which she had her 2 youngest children(age 11 and 12 at that time of the DUI)in the car with her, there is domestic violence history in the house, lots of CPS history(mostly for neglect)with her own kids and some on a grandson she had while one of her daughters was in prison, Her sixteen year old daughter just got out of rehab, and there was a CPS investigation on the husband for sexual abuse of the 16 year old. The grandmother has had 5 kids of her own, the 3 adult children have all spent time in prison, all have drug and alcohol problems, and the two adult daughters have both given birth to drug exposed infants ("G"s mother has had 6 other kids and most were born drug exposed). Placing a baby in the grandmothers care can not be in the best interest of this or any child.

Please pray that the judge really looks at all of this, and not just the fact that another county messed up and placed other children with her. Please pray for us. Pray the judge in our case still realizes this grandmother should not have "G" and refuses to place the baby with her! Pray that the attorney Ad litem will not recommend placing with the grandmother( our ad litem attorney does not like CPS and usually tries to recommend the oppisit of the case worker). Pray that CPS is able to present their case against placing with the grandmother in such away the the judge will not have a second thought about keeping the baby in our home and out of her's. Pray, PRAY, PRAY that they don't take our baby away from us! We go back to court on September 30th! Pray also that we are able to intervene with our own attorney (we are still waiting to find out if that is possible). That way someone is fighting for us and our bond with "G". Also please pray for baby "C" that is already in the grandmothers care.
Please just pray!!

[RobinKay]

You will have my heartfelt prayers. What an awful thing you are facing for your precious little one.

[jllambert]

Thanks Robinkay! I am trying so hard to trust in the Lord, but sometimes I let my mind take over and before I know it I am feeling overcome with worry! I know the Lord hears our prayers and that he loves this child even more then we do!

[henderfive]

You will be in my prayers everyday, I hope it all works in your favor. What a rollercoaster ride. Just one question how old is grandma. Can she handle to babies at once. Sounds like this might be the type of family that does it for the benefits.
Henderfive

[jllambert]

The home study says she is 45 (she looks older)? The worker who over sees the visits says she gets nervous over the littlest things "G" does. I don't think she could care for one baby much less two so close together. She has a 16 yr old and a 15 yr old that she has had a hard time carrying for (She admitted this on the stand, and it is in the home study).
I find it strange that the daughter as lost 7 kids and she never ever tried to get any of those babies. She does not have contact with any of them and 4 live in the same small town she lives in!
I just don't understand why she is fighting so hard for "G"
I will be sad for us if she gets her, but I will never ever stop being worried about "G" if she gets her!
Thanks for the prayers Henderfive!

[henderfive]

I understand everything you are feeling. I took in my little ANGEL at birth because his grandma who already had his 5yr old brother was honest and said she just couldn't take care of both. Boys were RU with bmom after 2yrs. So believe me when I say I will pray everday for you!!!!!!!make sure to keep us posted. Try not to worry and use the energy to enjoy every minute with "G"
henderfive

[greenrobin]

45 is not old. I am 47, have 3 grown kids, a 12 yr old and am in the waiting for TPR phase on a 3 and almost 5 yr old. We're on tap if the pregnancy rumor about biomom is true.

I know that things can go either way--our kids' bio g-pa is petitioning for custody. He has DUI issues, domestic violence issues, drug addicted kid issues. We could be twins, you and I! The state worker said that in TX, DV is usually an automatic no go. But still....

Just because grandma got another baby from another county does not mean she will get G. Did she tell the unvarnished truth? Did the cw do a good background check? Did they do a homestudy or just a walk through to make sure the place was relatively clean and safe? Or did she lie to y'all about placement? You just don't know.

As hard as it is, you just have to breathe and let it go. After all, who in this world ever added a day to his life by worrying? God knows your heart. And the judge makes the final decision. This is a hard and scary place to be in, but you aren't alone in here!

Prayers and hugs to you.

[jllambert]

Thanks GreenRobin! I agree 45 is not old!! She is only 11 years older then me! But she is a mess and that is why I don't think she can care well for any child.
Thanks for your words! I will try to take them to heart! I am glad to have this message board!!!

[MassachusettsMom]

A few things to consider:
- Have you had a bonding study done on your little one? Your case worker or pediatrician should be able to give you a referral.
- Are there any early intervention specialists, therapists, etc. involved? Would they and your pediatrician be willing to write a letter as to what they believe would be in the child's best interest?
- The attorney for the child -- has s/he done due diligence in visiting the child, talking to people in your child's life and has s/he reached a determination as to what is in the child's best interest? What is that?

Keep us posted. I'd be particularly interested to see if you have any luck with your attorney.

Good luck and keep advocating!!

[OakShannon]

I will absolutely be praying for you and your little girl. Keep us posted about what happens.

[jllambert]

No we have not done a Bonding study! I will start looking in to that today!

The Attorney Ad Litem has never seen our baby. He has only talked to me once and that was because I took upon myself to go and introduce myself to him after our first hearing. If he has not done "due diligence " how do we bring this up in court? Is this something CPS can bring up or will it only be addressed if we have an intervening attorney? So Ad Litem has not recommended placing with Grandmother (because he knew the judge would chew him up and spit him out) But he seems to try and make her look better every time we go to court. Sometimes it comes across like he is her attorney!
One other thing we might have on our side is we have a relationship with the two older siblings to our baby. They have been adopted together and we have become close to them and get the kids together so they will know each other. The adoptive parents have come to every court date to show their support for us having this baby. If the baby goes to the grandmother she will not grow up knowing her brother and sister, because the grandmother has nothing to do with them at all!
Also this judge has been the judge for the last 6 kids this mother has had removed. She knows this family well and it seems she does not think much of the Grandmother.
But you just never know what a judge is going to do!
Thanks for the prayers and the inforamtion!

[jllambert]

thank you so much! I will be sure to update!!

[MassachusettsMom]

Originally Posted by jllambert

The Attorney Ad Litem has never seen our baby. He has only talked to me once and that was because I took upon myself to go and introduce myself to him after our first hearing. If he has not done "due diligence " how do we bring this up in court? Is this something CPS can bring up or will it only be addressed if we have an intervening attorney?

I'm not in your state, so I don't know for sure. But in MA there is a state agency that oversees the court-appointed attys for kids. They have written guidelines of what the attys are supposed to do (minimum visits, etc. etc.) If the atty doesn't do his job, you can file a complaint and try to get a new atty appointed. However, THAT IS NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA!! Sometimes it may make things worse.

But don't wait until the court date to bring it up. Instead, I'd mention it to your worker and your attorney and ask them that you have concerns about the child's atty and how best to proceed.

Feel free to PM me and we can chat in more detail.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by jllambert

This is the worst thing that could have happened for our case against the grandmother getting "G"! It is now much more likely that we could lose "G" to the grandmother now that that CPS department placed a child in her home!

Actually, it might be the best thing that could have happened. If I was a judge who was already concerned about her ability to care for a young child (consider the hectic and disruptive lifestyle she has), knowing she now has another infant would seal the deal for me. If I had any thoughts of placing the baby with the g-ma (and this judge had the opportunity to place G with grandma but didn't do it), knowing that the g-ma know has yet ANOTHER small child would just be the straw that broke the camel's back. And it would make it easier for me to say "Look. She's not a good candidate to begin with. She already had her hands full. And now she put herself in a position where she really can't have another child".

To me, having a grandchild newly placed in her home hurts her chances of ever getting "G". Even if she was an outstanding g-ma with a great history, having two small grandchildren (in addition to her own children) would be too much for some people. Considering her history, she'd be overwhelmed if any more children were added to her home.
I'll be praying for you and baby G (and the judge-that she does what's best for the baby)

[jllambert]

Kat-L boy I hope you are right! I agree I think this would be way to much for her, and I am praying the judge sees it that way! Thank you for you comment and your prayers!

Mass-mom I will talk to my case worker about it ASAP and if I ever get our attorney to call me back I will address it with him too!

Thanks again everyone for your comments and your prayers! Sometimes I feel so alone in all of this, but when I post here I always get the support I need!