[jeavesmom]

I was told today by the SW that even if kiddos are sick they HAVE to go on their visit with Bio Mom. Do others do this?

[suzyq18]

We will not send our FS out for a visit when he's sick. We take him to the pediatrician who writes a note. SW was totally fine with this and did not fight it. She knows that we put him first and it is not to avoid a visit.
Hope that helped you!

[Heyheather]

We have had 2 instances of sick infant twins and we also were told that they had to go. One time the bioparents wouldn't agree to the babies staying home after our CW asked. She said that at least they would learn what it takes to care of sick kids. Another instance they were both fevery and I just couldn't do it so our CW told me to make an appointment with our MD which I had already done and just told the bioparents that I wouldn't be able to get the babies to their visit and then to the MD (slight exageration on her part).

[hubbyswife]

We had to take a baby w a fever, runny nose and throwing up to a visit... which really irked me bc sometime after bmom called in that she couldn't make it bc she was sick.... I was WHY can't she come if I had to take the baby????? Grrr!!!

[Mummy_Big_Bird]

I am sure it must just depend on the worker.

A few months ago, my mom had shingles, and D was around my mom right before she found out she had it. I let the worker know that I was keeping an eye on D, because people with shingles can pass the chicken pox onto people who haven't had it yet. Well, it turned out that the SW was preggo!!! She didn't want to take any chances with herself or her unborn babe, so she cancelled the visit that week! She could have had another worker do the visit.

D never did get the chicken pox from my mom.

[stevenstwin]

I'm thinking it would have to depend on HOW sick. I don't think there would be any reason to miss a visit if a child had a cold or similar - but if they're sick enough to pretty much be in bed or up-chucking all over, I don't think it makes any sense to take them anywhere! In your case, I think I'd ask the worker to define "sick". Perhaps they've had problems with peopel in the past using every little sniffle as an excuse.

[irelady10]

I just cancelled a visit for my 6 mth. old FS who had a fever and vomiting...we have to travel over 80 minutes round trip plus the hour visit with bios he has only met twice...way too much stress for a sick little babe. I was worried they (DYFS) wouldn't let me cancel it, but they were fine with it. I am so pleased to say that my dealings with them are so pleasant!

How can they expect you to take a sick child to a visit? This is just not right!!!

[Mystik]

For me it's always just depended how sick she was. If she was still eating & playing I'd send her to the visit, but whenever her sickness caused her to be off her food and not interested in playing I knew she really wasn't well at all and would cancel the visit. In the last 16 months I've only had to cancel maybe for 4 visits max, so they know it's not a regular thing and they've never argued with me about it. I have been requested to make up the visit however and I always agree to that, which usually means an extra hour or two tacked on to a visit the following week or whatever. This extra time is usually too much for the birth mom to even think about so she refuses and we very very rarely have ever had to do a real make up.

[ALfostermom]

i have actually had the bios meet me at the dr office for their childrens visit twice. one happened to be the 4month old shot appointment and the other one daycare called 45 min before visit was to start and said the 2.5 yr old had a 103 temp. But other than that if they are to sick to go to school/daycare they do not go on visit.

[jeavesmom]

All the replies are my thoughts also .Our Monkey has strep throat and still running fever off and on and I am sure sweet pea will have ,that is usually how it goes!

I asked the Sw why the kids visits were upped at court and she said that the bio m lawyer argued that since biom lives 2 hours away that she should have more time .No one told her to move to where she is ! I just feel at times that everyone is about the bio parents and the kids get forgotten about!

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by jeavesmom

All the replies are my thoughts also .Our Monkey has strep throat and still running fever off and on and I am sure sweet pea will have ,that is usually how it goes!

I asked the Sw why the kids visits were upped at court and she said that the bio m lawyer argued that since biom lives 2 hours away that she should have more time .No one told her to move to where she is ! I just feel at times that everyone is about the bio parents and the kids get forgotten about!

Aren't the visits supposed to be about the kids? Trying to get them back home with family?

[jeavesmom]

Yes the visits are supposed to be about getting the kids back with their bio parents BUT when the Bio parents have NOt seen the kids in months and can not keep a 3 hour visit WHY put the kids through the trauma having having to spend all day with someone the do not know PLUS The kids doctor and therapist wrote letters stating the effects it could cause Monkey and his developmental progress that we have be working on

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by jeavesmom

Yes the visits are supposed to be about getting the kids back with their bio parents BUT when the Bio parents have NOt seen the kids in months and can not keep a 3 hour visit WHY put the kids through the trauma having having to spend all day with someone the do not know PLUS The kids doctor and therapist wrote letters stating the effects it could cause Monkey and his developmental progress that we have be working on

You are right--it does not seem to make sense.

[KelleyF]

My cw's have always left the decision up to me. They never question it if I tell them the kids are too sick for a visit. From what I have read in many posts, our state seems to be much less strict in many areas of foster care.

[Gentin]

I feel like they should go to visits when they are sick because if these parents are supposed to get their kids back - they need to learn what it is like to take care of them when they are healthy as well as when they are sick. I sent my FD to visit with a cough and fever and Dad had to give her ibuprofen but couldn't get her to take it so the supervisor had to help - that doesn't make it look so good for him when he is fighting a TPR and he can't even get her to take needed medications.