[EandDmom]

We had a visit tonight. As I said before they do the sister and cousins with my foster kids and mom. Well when we picked up the kids (myself and the other foster parents) one of the cousins had no pants on and they said yeah they all had a messy diaper so we had to change them all. I thought ok no biggie got home and realized that out of the 8 diapers that I always keep in the bag I have 1 left. The visit was an hour and a half I hardly think the 2 kids I have in diapers went through 7 diapers. I started thinking mom had taken them but then I realized no the other foster parents didn't have a diaper bag so I'm guessing they used my diapers for all 5 of the kids that are in diapers. Like I can afford that! From now on they get 2 diapers in the bag and no more.

I guess I should be thankful they didn't take the extra set of clothes I have in the bag and put on the cousin that had to have his pants taken off.

[SHAMROX]

Yeah you could've lost your extra clothes! I would only put in two diapers; I think that's a good idea. I argued about providing a diaper bag; I didn't feel it was my responsibility. I'm so glad my kids' visits are over!

[suzyq18]

For our visits, our FS is changed new clothes and new diaper minutes before he leaves for the visit and I send along ONE diaper in a plastic grocery bag. That's it. Nothing else. Learned my lesson when I sent his really cute diaper bag with sippy cup, extra clothes, books, toys, crackers ... never saw that one again.

[kayb]

I spoke to cw about the diaper bag issue. For me, personally, I use my diaper bag as my purse. The front pocket is for my wallet etc.

Everytime I'd go for visit, the sw would try to take my diaper bag. I would simply tell them it's my purse, and hand them (in a nice stack) 1 diaper, 1 travel wipe box, bib and spit rag.

(one baby came with a diaper bag, which went to each visit with fs)

Another sw told me she believed it was part of the RU that birthmom should be providing her own diaper bag with snacks, diapers, change of clothes, etc as she goes thru RU to show she is 'progressing'.

you know the ol' saying...Give them a inch and they'll take a mile"

[CaddoRose]

This post really got me thinking. I always send a diaper and wipes to the visit ina plastic bag. Sometimes it comes back, other times it doesn't even if they didn't need to change her. I think I will call the CW and suggest that the parents bring these things to the visit. It will give them a chance to actually be prepared to be with a child for an hour. When Sweetpea was 6-9 months old, the Mom was feeding her coke and cheeto's for lunch! They usually bring stuff, but it's toys and snacks.

[timleenettesue]

I never send a diaper bag. It is the parent's responsibility to provide what their child needs. If they can't even supply what the child needs for a one or two hour visit, than how will they provide if the child goes home? It gives the sw a good look at what they would do if they were on their own.

[greenrobin]

We went to the first visit in 6 months last week. Sissy has recently potty trained, but consistancy of success is not EVEN in her vocabulary. So, we drop the kids off and I realized that the spare panties and jeans were in the vehicle. I started to go back, but I was taken over by my evil twin Skippy and didn't.

Dh asked me why. I told him if they wanted to be parents, they needed to take care of their little girl's needs.

Bad, huh?

[aclee]

Originally Posted by greenrobin

We went to the first visit in 6 months last week. Sissy has recently potty trained, but consistancy of success is not EVEN in her vocabulary. So, we drop the kids off and I realized that the spare panties and jeans were in the vehicle. I started to go back, but I was taken over by my evil twin Skippy and didn't.

Dh asked me why. I told him if they wanted to be parents, they needed to take care of their little girl's needs.

Bad, huh?

how did that go for them?

[stevenstwin]

well, that's ridiculous! I've heard plenty about the bio parents doing this, but this is the first time I've heard of another foster parent swiping supplies. You'd think they'd know better! I'd be SO tempted next time to say with a sweet smile "I didn't send any diapers today, since I figured it's your turn!". Okay, I wouldn't have the nerve to actually DO it, but I'd be tempted ;-)

[kayb]

That's funny greenrobin! I know "Skippy" too!!

[greenrobin]

Because you asked, I'll tell you--Sissy pulled it off without accidents.

Skippy says, "Darn it!"

I told her to hush, but she's being obstinant.

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

well, that's ridiculous! I've heard plenty about the bio parents doing this, but this is the first time I've heard of another foster parent swiping supplies. You'd think they'd know better! I'd be SO tempted next time to say with a sweet smile "I didn't send any diapers today, since I figured it's your turn!". Okay, I wouldn't have the nerve to actually DO it, but I'd be tempted ;-)

They didn't actually swipe them. They just didn't supply their foster kids a diaper bag for the visit so mom and aunt (the other bio mom) used my diapers for the other kids.
I would love to not take a bag but was told by cw I had to take a bag and also sippy cups with a drink in it. Mom and aunt have to supply dinner to the kids at these visits so I'm thinking well if they have to bring dinner why can't they also bring the diaper supplies?
Dh agrees though from now on they get 2 diapers and some wipes only. I always change them right before hand them over to mom so unless they have a birthmom they shouldn't need to change them so maybe I'll just do 1 diaper.

[aclee]

Originally Posted by EandDmom

I always change them right before hand them over to mom so unless they have a birthmom they shouldn't need to change them so maybe I'll just do 1 diaper.

Cracking up...this happened to me in another post and I had to go back and change all the b.m.s that had turned into "birthmom"s into "poop" it was like reading a mad lib...

[yorkiegirl]

I was sitting outside the visit room once for 30 minutes because I didnt have time to really go anywhere and be back in time, but anyway.... I heard the parents discussing the baby having a dirty diaper, --he didnt when I dropped him, by the way. Dad said are you gonna change him? I always leave a diaperbag filled.And she says well.... she'll be bcak in 30 minutes.Then a little later dad says, he really stinks wonder if she'll be back early.Finally the visit superviser suggested, why dont you just change him and they finally did , minutes before he came back to me.
They always always fill the kids with candy and plain sugar drinks, I get them back at 5pm, baby usually gets diarreahe and neither will eat.So... after trying to help them make better choices and they dont listen, I changed my routine and I feed them dinner before they go!!!!

[stevenstwin]

Yikes - sorry, I misread! And yes, I've heard plenty of CW's requiring the foster parents to provide supplies, but I personally feel it is wrong. The parents should have to do so, to prove they can handle the details, in my opinion. I know a lot of them also feel that they can take from us because we are getting PAID (and I've heard "I never got paid to take care of my own kids, ya know" both from the birth parents, and from other people in the public! but that's a whole 'nother rant ;-)

Originally Posted by EandDmom

They didn't actually swipe them. They just didn't supply their foster kids a diaper bag for the visit so mom and aunt (the other bio mom) used my diapers for the other kids.
I would love to not take a bag but was told by cw I had to take a bag and also sippy cups with a drink in it. Mom and aunt have to supply dinner to the kids at these visits so I'm thinking well if they have to bring dinner why can't they also bring the diaper supplies?
Dh agrees though from now on they get 2 diapers and some wipes only. I always change them right before hand them over to mom so unless they have a birthmom they shouldn't need to change them so maybe I'll just do 1 diaper.