[athikers]

I understand your frustration and desire to keep your son's sibling with him. I also agree with several pp, this is a different family, who may or may not be capable of caring for this little one. Time will tell.

[greenrobin]

I'm sorry for your frustration and fear. It's a hard place to find yourself.

Sometimes, despite our very best efforts, our kids don't turn out like we raised them. That could be the case here. At least someone in the family is making an effort. And, the state will be looking in on them I'm sure.

The concept of next-of-kin is a strange one. When you adopt, you do become part of that kinship. But, if there is another close-blood relative, like a grandparent, who is willing to take the child, you end up where you are.
In our case, the kids' family has applied for custody and a homestudy was done--but this happened only after they came into care. The sw is pretty sure that the homestudy will be denied (although you never know) based upon psych evals and domestic violence issues. If we get to adopt, then that makes us the next of kin because the other family members will be unfit.

Your frustration and sadness are so clear. As hard as it is, you just have to wait and see how this plays out--and pray for whatever is best for the baby.

[infoster]

Originally Posted by mom2behappy

turned out the way he did does not mean that gparents aren't fit. do you know these gparents personally? secondly if mom was able to give birth and give guardianship to gparents that means that dss was not involved meaning the baby was not born wih any drugs or anything in its system.

Actually mom2behappy, yes I do know the Birth Parents personally and I am also aware of the G'Parents. I have known them since thier oldest daughter was 6 years old and she is now 12. These children have been put through hell because of the birth mom. She has allowed 3 different sex offenders in her home to sexually molest her two oldest daughters. What I am plainly stating is this thank-you very much. How can DCS pull 4 children (2 from birth, the last one just last summer) and then not this one just because it's a different county just two hours away! ABUSE does not just come in the form of drug abuse. In this case where the Mom and Father both have a filing cabinet not justa file aat the DCS office on child abuse and neglect it doesn't seem right to have this happen with good chances it will (4 out of 1) were at child could be harmed at anytime. DCS should go and watch out for this child based alone by the history abuse. Like I said she has only had 5 kids now and 4 of them were abused in some way.

[mommytoEli]

1/2 siblings are low on the list of family members. when our baby a was born...he was child #7 to come into care . with every child removed by cps, they checked all the same family members for placement of the child....so by the time #7 came around...it would be reasonable to say no one was fit to care for this baby...but still, they went back out, talked to, interviewed, visited any relative they could find...all teh same ones from each of hte times before.... we were last. as much as some complain cps doesn't give people many chances, i think they do give some MANY chances.....they gave these relatives 7 chances to prove they could parent her children. and then it was my turn. had someone closer- grandma, aunt, been able to care for the new baby...that is where he would have gone.

i bet if you were able to get a straight answer from someone, they would tell you that something has changed that allows her a chance. this wouldn't be the first case where a mother is allowed to keep her new baby so quickly after a tpr of another. hopefully they are still checking in on her and offerring her support services.

[infoster]

Thanks Mom2Eli. I did call the county DCS that Bio Mom did live in and where we recieved our son from today to give them the new address she is satying at now with Grandparents of new baby. They didn't realize that she was actually living there as well. They also thought it a good idea to call up that county DCS to have them keep a watchful eye on everything just in case. I feel more rleived now that there was at least a call made to let the other county be aware of the history. I hate sounding like a "baby snatcher". My Husband and I are extremely happy and blessed with our 13 month old. He is still our only baby! We don't feel the need to take anyone's babies just because we have the Bio Mom's
4th child. It is hard looking at my son now and knowing he has a baby sister not much younger than he is that could be neglected. I don't want to wonder about that, but we do know the history and I have seen the pictures of the bruises on her past children. It's only in our hearts to want to protect her. Anyhow DCS in this new county knows now to check up on her thats all that matters.

[mom2behappy]

my question to you was do you know the grandparents personally to deem them unfit to care for the child. my post wasn't meant as a personal attack to you my children were all adopted thru the state foster care system. I am an adoptive parent. I was merely trying to suggest that since dhs did not remove this child for whatever reason im not saying their choice was right or wrong, but because they DID NOT remove this child mom had the right to place child where ever she wanted to or she could have tried to raise it on her own legally she had this option. unless a chlld was killed by the parents immediate removal doesn't happen unless the child is born drug addicted in most cases.

[Becki_in_IN]

Originally Posted by infoster

Thanks Mom2Eli. I did call the county DCS that Bio Mom did live in and where we recieved our son from today to give them the new address she is satying at now with Grandparents of new baby. They didn't realize that she was actually living there as well. They also thought it a good idea to call up that county DCS to have them keep a watchful eye on everything just in case. I feel more rleived now that there was at least a call made to let the other county be aware of the history. I hate sounding like a "baby snatcher". My Husband and I are extremely happy and blessed with our 13 month old. He is still our only baby! We don't feel the need to take anyone's babies just because we have the Bio Mom's
4th child. It is hard looking at my son now and knowing he has a baby sister not much younger than he is that could be neglected. I don't want to wonder about that, but we do know the history and I have seen the pictures of the bruises on her past children. It's only in our hearts to want to protect her. Anyhow DCS in this new county knows now to check up on her thats all that matters.

Oh, i'm glad. I hope it all turns out for the best.

[hermommy]

Originally Posted by infoster

We adopted our son back in Febuary. His Bio Mom TPR'd in January and we weren't sure why she gave up so easily or quickly. Our son was her fourth child that was either volunatrily or involuntarily TPR'd. Well, I find out today that she was pregnant when she TPR'd with our son. She did not tell DCS right away because she knew that they would take this baby into custody as well until she finished her programs she did not finish with the other 4 kids now. DCS did find out right before the TPR with our son however. She moved to another county and had the baby there with a different Bio Dad than my son's. The Bio Dad of the new baby is in jail now, and his parents are allowing the Bio Mom to stay with them. Bio Mom has given the grandparents guardianship of the new baby, but Bio Mom lives with the Grandparents, and takes care of the baby. How can DCS take 4 of her kids now (the last 2 were from birth) and give her supervised visits only, but allow her to live with this one? Also DCS told my Husband and I that she wasn't pregnant when they made her take a pregnancy test before TPR of our son. Whay would they lie to us? Do we have any rights since we have the new babies half brother? DCS told us taht if she had another baby that we would be notified and we would be placed with the baby. Why didn't this happen? We have kept an open adoption arrangement with emails and pictures of our son to his Bio Mom and she NEVER told us she was expecting. Our son and the new baby are only 13 months apart! This is his little sister. How can you give one baby up to keep another? Don't get me wrong, we are so happy that she signed her rights over, and that we were able to adopt our son, but how can you make a choice like that? I feel betrayed by DCS in a way because they knew she was pregnant again and lied to us. Does guardianship with Grandparents over rule adoptive parents who have the babie's sibiling? Doesn't DCS/courts try and keep sibs together? Why do I feel like they (Bio Mom and DCS) have been sneaky about it all? Thanks for listening.

In my state if a woman is pregnant and has a open cps case all she has to do is sign that child over and her cps case is closed. They will watch her and eventually she will mess up they most always do. However, if the father has not been terminated then he still has rights to this child, and it is the same his family will be offered the child first, then you.