[MamaKnkids]

I am doing my second respite foster this weekend (been here since Thursday) and I know NOTHING about these kids. When they dropped them off on they told me one might wet the bed (which I was prepared for, I have Pull Ups) but that was ALL. I knew their ages and how many sibs they have but that is all I know. Is that normal?

They are little girls, aged 7 and 4, and so far it is going well. They do have food issues (eat constantly, but I let them, as long as it is healthy, with sweets thrown in every once in a while - they are skinny) and also chew on EVERYTHING, I have to redirect that behavior as they have already chewed holes in some of my boys' toys.. but they are fairly normally delayed otherwise (I've always been told that foster kids tend to be 2 years behind and it is true for sure in this case)

Anyway, some of the things the oldest has said has disturbed me, like about being punished and how there used to be rats in her house. Do I assume that the SW's know all of that, or should I tell them? Should I write a little note for their regular foster mom letting them know how the weekend went, or is that not appropriate? I think some of the redirection of behavior that I've been doing really works with the 4 year old, but I don't know if I should put that in or not. For those with experience, both as respite and regular fosters, I would appreciate the advice.

When you do respites is this normal or just an our county, rural area overworked worker kind of thing?

I should add that our first respite was the same way, but since she was a teen she pretty much told me everything I needed to know on her own, and it was easy and great.

[CaddoRose]

Usually you don't know a lot about the kids for respite, but my CW knows what I will take and what I won't in terms of behaviors. I do try to find to if they have a favorite food, extreme likes or dislikes that would put them into a tail spin, or anything out of the ordinary I should know.

As far as the comments by the foster kids about rats and punishment- a lot depends on how long they have been in care and what they have experienced before they came into care. Our agency has a form which we fill out and mail back to our agency that allows us to answer a set of questions about their behavior during respite adn a place for comments. I would note the comments to the CW, but just as a mention of how they acted.

[Robbin]

If they talked freely to you about rats and punishment, the fmom and cw are probably well aware of those issues.

I would still tell the fmom. She'd be able to tell you if that was something the cw already knew about. If the fmom DID NOT know about those issues, then I would ask if she would mind if I called their cw and informed them of the particulars of that conversation.

As a fmom, I would want to know some details as far as behaviors, discipline, food, etc.

It's great getting NO information isn't it?

[meshsgrl]

I did respite for a a boy 7 and a his sis 3, acouple weeks ago. My agency has a paper they send for respite that fparents need to fill out... things like discipline methods, favorite foods, behaviors etc...
Well the Fmom put down the kids had no behavioral problems... nothing! The boy wasnt in my house 4 hrs he was totally inappropriate to my 11 yr old!!! I was furious!!
2 days later the SW was like... Oh yeah he does need to be supervised at all times around girls!!!
That was my first respite and I was not very happy!!!