[momof9wantingmore]

I cannot believe what happened this morning, first let me update. First placement in my new state, told only two weeks only, accepted placement based on being told it was short term. Some behavior problems started with the 4 year old. Called SW on Thursday left message, called Friday left message, she has Mondays off called first thing this morning and was advised by SW that the case has been transferred to a new SW, I asked about the two week placement and the behavior problems, she said she passed my concerns on to the new SW, when I tried to press the issue about why I had not heard back from her she got very cold and just kept repeating that she had transferred all my messages on to the new SW. So, I call new SW and guess what, SHE'S ON VACATION. So I called her supervisor left message, have heard nothing, so I finally called the old SW supervisor and told her the whole story and she said she would look into it and call me back today for sure. I am so not impressed with my introduction to foster care in the state of Washington. Please tell me what I can do now to make sure they understand that I not interested in a long term placement of two toddlers, it is not a good fit with my children and I am licensed for medically fragile.

Thanks

[Boulderbabe]

Call them back. Tell whoever answers that either you get a call back from a SW with a plan to move these kids, or you'll bring them to the office at 4 pm with all their belongings.

Do not tolerate bad treatment from DSS.

[momof9wantingmore]

Well, the SW supervisor called me back, he was very nice and said he was very sorry that this has happened and that these children were never a short term placement, mom has disappeared and they can't find any appropriate relatives. We talked for a long time and he has assured me that they will be moved within 10 days. I told him how bad I felt that these kids have to be moved again and he assured me that I have nothing to feel bad about and that I was lied to. He says he gets very upset when foster parents are treated this way because them they lose good foster parents. I really want these kids to go to a good home as I think it may be for a very long time. I hope that they keep their promise because these kids really are nice kids. I still feel so guilty!!!!

[MommyToTwo]

Where in WA are you? Our fostering experiences in that state were miserable. We were lied to, treated like trash, and misled with EVERY placement. Our situation ended up with us being blacklisted (which they insist they don't do) because we were advocating too much for a sib set that had been placed with us for adoption. Needless to say, we didn't get to adopt those two and never had another placement after that.

Dealing with the WA sw's we dealt with is the only reason we've not applied to foster anywhere else we've lived. They ruined it for us, and we loved doing it.

[Chancey]

Follow up by sending the Supervisor a confirmatory email stating something like: "Thank you for talking to me today in regards to the issues. To re-cap our conversation we discussed: 1) blah 2) blah 3)blah. Please provide an exact date no later than, August x as to when I can expect these children to be moved."

I'm sorry your experience started out so badly, but I have found that this can be "somewhat" of the norm. I have developed the above strategy and it really really really helps in dealing with CPS. When they figure out that I keep a paper trail and follow-up on non-responses they start acting much better. I have had the occasional worker who is great, so not every one is non-responsive.

[momof9wantingmore]

MommyToTwo-We live about 35 miles outside of Spokane, We are very discouraged, we fostered for 5 years and adopted 3 of our foster children in the state of California and it was mostly a positive experience. Don't give up I have a feeling that most states are not nearly as bad as Washington, I hope.

[NotAMomYet]

I can't help as we have not yet completed our adoption home study (by end of this month we'll be done) but wanted to say I hope that it's a fluke because we, too, are in the Spokane area/region ... maybe we should chat?

[SHAMROX]

I'm in Western WA and have had nothing but bad experiences. I had two little girls placed with me as they were "likely adoptable" and when they called to say they were being moved to the grandparents I called the adoption s/w sup - he said the s/w lied to me so I'd take the kids. Hello, how rude is that? I would've taken them anyway but still. Both my long-term placement's cases have been riddled with problems.

I'm sure its not throughout the state and I know a lot of it has to do with your s/w. I had an intern with my first foster daughter who was GREAT - she's an adoption worker now, but unfortunately not mine. She does a good job and I wish they'd all be like her.

Its been true in my experience that if they think you aren't keeping track of things then they'll get you. I had an adoption social worker tell me once "I didn't tell you your son had RAD" and I responded with "then why did you send a RAD pamphlet to my home visit with the licensor?". She said "it wasn't from me" - whatever. I want to send her a letter and tell her that my son's in attachment therapy now and all the issues he has that she should've helped me with 3 years ago.

I also was told that I "advocate too much" for my kids and that none of the social workers will want to work with me if I keep it up. That was a long time ago but I will never forget it.

I haven't met anyone with exactly the same situation as mine, but a couple have come close. Of course there are others who get the smooth-sailing cases - and those are great for those kids of course.

[Mystik]

Ugh! Here I've been hoping DH (who's active duty) would get stationed there in the near future so I could be closer to my family (in Canada). However, now that I've heard all this I don't know if I'll want to continue fostering while we're there. We were kind of hoping to pursue foster/adoption for a boy since DH is beginning to feel a bit over run being the only male in the home Maybe we'll just wait till we eventually end up in another State. I will say California has been wonderful. We've (for the most part) had very little issues besides things that can pretty much be expected anywhere we go.

I'm really sorry this was your first taste in Washington. Hopefully it'll get better from here and prove it's not just a corrupt state of lying CW's!!!

[missymissus]

I'm in Western washington and we've had a pretty decent experience so far. Our biggest problems were with the first licensor who seemed to be sick, on vacation, or on LOA pretty much constantly for several months.

We've only had one placement so far and his social worker has been awesome.

[momof9wantingmore]

missymissus-thanks so much for your positive reply, it gives me some hope that fostering in Washington might turn out okay after all. When we were foster parents in California it was a very enjoyable and fulfilling experience, of course we adopted our three lovely little ones from there, so I might be biased.

[Godmother]

I am in Western WA, too. My experiences have been miserable. It is almost impossible to get a kid moved. I took a 6 mo old boy and told them I could only keep him until he was 12 mo because he had to sleep in my room. When I told the case worker it was time to move him, she quit. I had to wait 2 mo to find out who the new case worker was. She started looking for a good placement for him. I was willing to be patient, but the caseworker for one of my other children reported me for having him in my room. She was mad because I told her it was time to move that baby before he turned a year old. She reported me for having 2 babies in my room which is not against the rules and for having a 17 mo old in my room. I thought the worst they could do to me was move him, which was what I wanted in the first place. No, they launched a formal facilities investigation and still wouldn't move either boy. I finally found a home for the older one and they moved him. I found a home for the younger one and they still refused to move him. Don't accept any kid you are not willing to keep forever!!! They treat you like a criminal for not following their rules, but you can't follow them because they won't do their jobs. I asked to have one boy moved and after 6 weeks of delays(check this relative, check that relative), I had an appointment to deliver him to the office. The caseworker met me in the parking lot because I had a car full of kids and couldn't come in. She told me she still hadn't found a home for him. I just said, "I am sorry. Here he is." He was making life miserable for all of us.

I have been a foster parent in CO, OR, and WA. WA is by far the most miserable. They have to hire outside agencies to recruit and retain foster parents because the state is so mean to us.

I wasn't going to be a foster parent after I moved here, but 2 kids that I had earlier in OR came back into care and their mother wanted them placed with me. It took 8 mo to get my license here. They kept telling me, "You are at the bottom of our list because we want to find homes for WA kids, not OR kids. We will work on your home study when we have nothing else to do." I kept telling them, "I have been a foster parent for 10 yrs. I only want 2 OR kids and I can take 2 WA kids too." I finally had to get an outside agency to force them to license me. It took 2 months to write up my homestudy after the visits and they had a copy of my OR homestudy that they could have just copied most of it from.

I love being a foster parent in OR and CO. I was always treated fairly and given respect. The caseworkers made a lot of mistakes and didn't always do their jobs, but they were always nice and friendly.

Here, some of them can barely supress their contempt for me. It is bizarre, I have never been treated this way in my life. They say it is not a matter of " if you get investigated, but when you get investigated." I had no idea it would be the caseworkers reporting you for things that are not against the rules and things that only they can remedy.

Soapbox off. Sorry for the rant.

[MommyToTwo]

We were also reported and investigated because of something that was said by a sw that had never met us OR our kids. By the time we heard about it we already had the kids moved, and the investigator didn't believe the allegations anyway, so we didn't really have to go through much.

I was amazed at the things that were said to us by SWs in WA. My husband, at a meeting, asked "What's more important than the welfare of the kids?" We were stunned when the SW had an answer. We told her that NOTHING should be more important, but she kept rambling on. One child was placed with us and we were not told for more than a month that this child has asthma and allergies and that she was supposed to be on a daily medication. One kid we had went more than 4 months without even having a SW assigned to him, and NO ONE checked on him.

I've considered looking into fostering here (PA) but I'm scared of dealing with the same old crap, and really I'm nervous that I could lose my two kids if there were false allegations made.