[committedsoul]

I'm just dealing with a lot of racism within DHHS... as far as adopting Brandon... With me being black and him being white... it's such a messed up situation and it's now threatening Jon's adoption... I'm just in a space right now of utter loss. There is a whole lot of them and only one of me, so I just don't know what to do. I know that if I give it God, I have to trust Him to take care of it and I can't worry about it because whatever happens is in His will, but it's just not that easy. This has been going on for months and I know that if I was home in NJ, I would know where to go and who to turn to... but then again, if I was in NJ, this wouldn't be happening...

Brandon went to the potty for the first time just now... my living room smells like poo...

I love my kids...

I've obsessed over this and lost sleep over this and cried too many tears to wipe... and there is a part of me that says that I need to not obsess over what isn't mine... I'm stressing over what is, and the end of the day, someone else's child...

Part of me wants to let them go...

Thanks for letting me vent... there is so much more, but I gotta empty that potty...

[Robbin]

What a difficult time for you. It has got to be soooo frustrating to feel like you're "fighting city hall" .

Sometimes you have to let go, and let God. Sometimes you have to jump in and fight the good fight.

I am sorry that I have no advice to give you. I can only pray that the Lord gives you a clear direction, the tools that you need to fulfill His will, and peace about the situation.

[Mom2blessings]

I was looking at your signature...is your adoption final already with Brandon?

If racism is an issue, I think I would hire a lawyer. Your son deserves a mother who loves him...and color doesn't love. People do.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

I agree that it may be worth fighting for, if you feel up to it. Isn't there a federal law that race can't be used as a reason to not let a family adopt a child?

[missw005]

Don't give up, Committed!!!!!
I know you love your boys. Your SONS. Don't let those nasty DHS people take that away from you.
B's parents want you to adopt him. You want to adopt him. That's all that matters.
Fight, fight, FIGHT!!!!!! Bring them that Redbook article showing a successful black adopting white adoption. Have a bonding study done. Anything. Everything!!!
Then, once you've done everything you can, step back and try to relax. Know you've done everything you can, and that's the best you have. What happens after that is up to God.
I know it's hard to keep fighting with them beating you down all the time. But I also know you are one of the most courageous, loving, compassionate, independent and brave women I know. You can do it. I know you're tired, I know you're sick and tired........but these are your SONS, and they need you to find those hidden pockets of stamina, energy and resourcefulness to fight for them.
They are NOT someone else's kids, they are YOURS.

What did the NAACP say? Lawyers? Civil rights folks? I'm serious about going to the media, too - there's no excuse for racism these days.
You are their MOM. They are your SONS.

You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe in you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You , girl, and don't you ever forget it!!!!

Sandy

PS - Listen to India Arie's song, "Strength, Courage and Wisdom." You have all those things. Keep that song in your head!

[Boulderbabe]

Committed Soul: Sounds like it is time for you to hire an attorney.

If his bparents are willing to relinquish, what is the hold up?

[vegaschristina]

I agree with Boulderbabe...get the lawyer. Fight like hell for those kids. YOU are their mom, they are YOUR kids. These are not someone else's kids. Remember that.

[onhazier]

Seriously. Call the NAACP and the ACLU. This is racism at such an ugly level. They may have lawyers willing to take this on.

[bjhv5]

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!
we went through something similar excpet we are white and Ramey is black.They used different words to try to keep the rasism hidden but it was there. Luckily we had a great judge who was on our side and backed us up the whole way.Our adoption was final Spet 07.
FIGHT!

[Yash]

I'm with the others, it's time to call in the lawyer, NAACP, the ACLU, to protect yourself and your family.

cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall.

[EZ2Luv]

((HUGS)) and prayer!! Now call that lawyer ASAP. This is so wrong on so many levels. The thing these people are overlooking id LOVE and there is no clor eo that. Fight , you ahve all of us here praying for you and sending you energy. You can give something to God, but He also gives you wisdom. Based on all these posts it tells me that it would be wise to call a lawyer.

EZ

[mommytoEli]

i'm so frustrated when i read about your story. it is all so lame. don't give up....fight until the very end.

[EZ2Luv]

Oh Gosh I just looked at my post and noticed all my typos!! I was so heated after reading the OP that I was typing with such fury. It was supossed to say:

"The thing these people are overlooking is LOVE and there is no color of that"

Fight, you have all of us here praying for you and sending you energy"

I ll have to calm down before I type from now on or at least breath and proof read before hitting Post.

EZ

[committedsoul]

thank you to all of you for all of your prayers...

Boulderbabe... B's parents already relinquished. B is legally free for adoption... as is JD.

I found out today that the judge in the State of NJ has ordered me to appear in court on the 18th in newark NJ to answer to the false allegations here in Maine...

Mind you, nothing has been proven... an investigation that was supposed to have been completed in 30 days is now working on day 120...

What I don't understand is how the caseworker here in Maine can send information down to NJ slandering me when no information has been proven?

JD's caseworker will be here on Monday morning and his law guardian is coming on Wednesday (I think)...

JD's cw said that it is not their goal to remove JD, but the judge was very upset about the info (false) that she'd received... I have been told that NO information should have been forwarded anywhere until it was proven to be true... It is my understanding that there are things in that allegation that I have no idea about...

I went to the police regarding filing a complaint about the cw coming into my home without permission and was told that the DA would not take it because T was 16 at the time (WTH does that have to do with anything?!?!)

I'm just tired... drained...

To top it off, I spoke with the investigators supervisor last week and she told me thatthe investigation should have been closed out by now. Yesterday I spoke with the investigator herself (the sup. was out of the office) to find out the status, and she told me it would take at least 3-4 weeks for a wrap-up!!!

It's a losing battle for me and I know it. The kids adoption worker here in maine is willing to go to NJ with me on the 18th to testify... She's great. She feels that no matter the outcome, the kids should stay where they are...

I'm reluctant to contact the NAACP here... I don't know why, but I just am... It just seems like EVERYTHING is tainted...

I just don't know where to turn.

I love my little men, but I also love them enough to let them go, if need be. I just feel sorry for their loss... not just of me, but of each other... If they leave me, JD goes back to NJ and B stays here...

JD has taken on the job of potty training his brother... he even made up a song for when B gets it right...

I just don't know what to do. I'm just trying to keep the faith.

Thanks again.

Committed.

[stevenstwin]

I have no words of advice for you and can't imagine what it is like to be going through this right now - but I can offer you all my prayers and moral support that DHS becomes enlightened enough to leave a little boy with his mother!! ((HUGS))