[jennifer1150]

I got a call this morning that the 1yr old girl that I was going to be placed with didn't come into care. However, they wanted to know if I was interested in a 3 month old baby boy that is already in foster home but they need to change the agency he is with. I still have questions about this but said "yes".
Ok so any advice for a three month old boy???

[Robbin]

No advice, just enjoy him!

[CaddoRose]

Don't know if you've had to raise a baby, but at this age they eat a lot, pee a lot and sleep a lot! Try to rest when you can so you will be able to wake up at night to feed him. I found with DD that if I could go to sleep when she did at 9 at night, she would sleep till 12 and need to eat. That 3 hr span of sleep really helped me make it through. Have fun!

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by jennifer1150

I got a call this morning that the 1yr old girl that I was going to be placed with didn't come into care. However, they wanted to know if I was interested in a 3 month old baby boy that is already in foster home but they need to change the agency he is with. I still have questions about this but said "yes".
Ok so any advice for a three month old boy???

I'm happy for you, but sad for the child that he's going to have a disruption just because of "business". That is assuming his current foster home is a good one, of course - but the more changes in care a baby has, the higher the risk of attachment disorders, so if it is just an "agency" thing, it seems criminal.

[jennifer1150]

Just received the call that the current fps don't want to keep him because is goal is reun no trp.

[Boulderbabe]

That is just criminal----the current foster parents are going to cause this defenseless little baby the trauma of attachment, because they can't manage RU?

Whoa. What exactly did they think they were going into? This is fost/adopt, not Burger King. We're not the customers, and we don't get it our way....

[kxl164]

I'm glad to hear they are moving him to you. This child deserves to be living with parents who can commit to him fully for the time here is there. Birthparents have issues that prevent that right now, and it seems the first foster family has their own issues. Glad to know that he will be safe with your family from here on in. I think that if the other foster parents want/need to bail out now, good, get him out of there ASAP because most of these children need parents who can put up with a lot of issues (from RU to ADHD to learning to attachment...) and this child needs to be with parents who can handle what life throws at him/them for the long haul.

Best of Luck to your growing family!

[shycar]

Boulderbabe--you crack me up. That was well said.

[MamaS]

Just practical advice: Do not lean directly over him while changing a diaper. Stand to one side, and have a towel ready.

[suzyq18]

more practical stuff...
find out what kind of bottles and formula they've been using and the feeding/sleeping schedules. Babies do better when you keep them consistent. One of our first placements was a baby who had been breast fed only... poor little girl, she was so unhappy about not being latched on all the time. Since this baby you're getting has already been in care you should not have this issue.

We've had the little ones and they need our help so much, they are so needing the stability right now.
Enjoy the baby!

[Sam-N-Tony]

I'm jealous.... 3 month old's are fun, even though they still sleep a lot (usually not at night, LOL) but they are just sooo darn cute.

I just had a 3 month old for a month and we fell in love. Advice - bouncy seat, swing, playpen, find out what bottles or have them give you the bottles he uses (babies love consistency and their bottles), formula. Most importantly his schedule.

Good luck.... if you see someone peering through your windows it's me to come and kidnap your baby, LOL.

That stinks that there are fp out there who wanted to give this child "back" because it's not tpr, not all kids are tpr and they need to understand this. I think they should go up for review and to reevalutate what foster parenting is.

[AmahMama]

I think that is why we've had so many placements!! The fost/adopt thing is not condusive (sp?) to some people keeping a child that has not been tpr'd yet and the goal changes. We have had a large percentage of "our" kids come from other foster and foster/adopt homes and transition "home" (either to other adoptive parents or to bio {or family}). Some of the fos/ado homes have disrupted too!

Mostly when they are going to family.... Like BoulderBabe said - this isn't Burger King - and it is lives they are messing with!! It has always "annoyed" me when I hear "if I can't keep (fk) I don't want to invest any more of myself into (fk) if they aren't staying". They should be happy for the child because something evidently changed for the better to get the goal changed... Like the child doesn't have any "investment" there. People that want 0 chance of ru need to do staight adopt and leave the foster part out of it. And many times the "paper goal" can change more than once before the child is tpr'd...

Advice? - some 3 mo olds will sleep from 11 pm or so until daylight. I've always (snicker snicker) tried to "top them off" just before I go to bed and have had really good luck with this. This is a really great age as they are just starting to really focus and will begin baby coos and smiles soon. I will be second in line to kidnapp!!!

I keep telling agencies that I want infants - my guests now are 7 and 2!!! and in transition - previous fp's decided they couldn't handle the transition part???? It is difficult for the kids - they spend more and more time with bio and have 2 sets of rules and of course the "honeymoon" for bio isn't over yet.... but I enjoy the time to myself while they are having the unsupervised and overnight visits.... my dh enjoys it to... hehee!!

Have fun with him... love him... enjoy him... that's what it's all about!

[jennifer1150]

The placement fell through. They found a home for him in the county.

Tired of all these possible placements that fall through.

Thank you all for the advice. I may have the honor of fostering a 3 month old in the future.

[EandDmom]

I'm so very sorry. I'm sure your chance will come sooner than you think.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony

I'm jealous.... 3 month old's are fun, even though they still sleep a lot (usually not at night, LOL) but they are just sooo darn cute.

I just had a 3 month old for a month and we fell in love. Advice - bouncy seat, swing, playpen, find out what bottles or have them give you the bottles he uses (babies love consistency and their bottles), formula. Most importantly his schedule.

Good luck.... if you see someone peering through your windows it's me to come and kidnap your baby, LOL.

That stinks that there are fp out there who wanted to give this child "back" because it's not tpr, not all kids are tpr and they need to understand this. I think they should go up for review and to reevalutate what foster parenting is.

It's like another planet reading this thread vs. the reunification thread.

Here we are hearing about foster parents returning a kid because reunification is happening and they want to adopt.

On the other thread we are talking about NOT disrupting a long-term placement with foster parents to prevent attachment issues.

One thing posters all seem to have in common, however--we all want safe and loving homes for these little "lost" ones.

Hang in there, jennifer!