[MPJJJ]

Why do agencies list children who are already in an adoptive home? It is so crushing to click on a beautiful child, read the description and think (wow, that would be a great match for us!), start getting excited, and then read that the foster parents are persuing adoption. Why on earth even list the child? Its so disapointing!

[Boulderbabe]

I think in some states it's a legal requirement to list the kids if they aren't adopted by X date. So sorry that you've gotten your hopes up!

Have you given any thoughts to taking a kid from the moment he or she enters foster care? It's riskier for you, but it's a big advantage for the child emotionally, and can mean you have a child with fewer emtional issues down the road.....

[MPJJJ]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

I think in some states it's a legal requirement to list the kids if they aren't adopted by X date. So sorry that you've gotten your hopes up!

Have you given any thoughts to taking a kid from the moment he or she enters foster care? It's riskier for you, but it's a big advantage for the child emotionally, and can mean you have a child with fewer emtional issues down the road.....

We are straight foster, because that is all our county (maybe even our state) allows. There is no foster to adopt program. The photo listings are all out of state kids. I know I've only been licensed a month, but it doesn't hurt to look around. (Except for the discouragement when I read "this child is being adopted by the foster parents."

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by Boulderbabe

I think in some states it's a legal requirement to list the kids if they aren't adopted by X date. So sorry that you've gotten your hopes up!

Have you given any thoughts to taking a kid from the moment he or she enters foster care? It's riskier for you, but it's a big advantage for the child emotionally, and can mean you have a child with fewer emtional issues down the road.....

This is excellent advice--I credit my lil guy's emotional health to the fact that he did not get moved from foster home to foster home. He was in one place, then moved once, and then came to us. He was old enough to understand what was going on, and that helped also.

[Boulderbabe]

I can see why you're looking at the photolistings---when I was being licensed, I think I looked at every kid in North America on those listings! It's nice to think about what life will be like with a kid in the house.

It's worth curbing your enthusiasm just a little bit about the photolistings, though. Kids who are on those listings are generally the children that have been very hard to place. Sometimes they're hard to place because they are from a racial minority or because they are part of larger sib sets, so if those things are fine with you, that's great. Other times, though, the kids are hard to place because of their emotional problems, medical problems, or serious behavioral issues. As hard as it is (okay, it's almost impossible!), it's worth trying not to get TOO excited until you get full disclosure about the kids' problems from the SW. Otherwise, your excitement and joy might lead you into a situation you're not prepared for.

(Yep, learned that one the hard way! :-) It's hard not to fall in love, but the most important thing is making sure the kids don't ever have to move again....)

[blau5]

MPJJJ, I agree with you on the photolistings. When we inquire about children we are always told that the foster family has decided to adopt. We were told this about a girl we inquired about over 1.5 years ago and what makes me so mad is that she recently reappeared on the site again, now 1.5 years older!! This is so frustrating.

[lhutton]

I've also been told that some social workers will list a child if the foster parents are perceived as "dragging their heels" about deciding to adopt. They can then tell the foster parents, you need to make a decision now because we have someone else who is interested in the child.

I also had the experience of being the children had already been placed then being called over a year later to see if I was still interested. I keep looking at these listings but haven't had luck yet.

[Nicole Elaine]

I wish I knew! The other thing that bothers me is that there are so many children who AREN'T in adoptive homes who don't get put in the photolistings. We have an 11 year old we won't be adopting, and they are not even attempting to find an adoptive family for him. It's rather ridiculous in my opinion.