[KT08]

I have had a 2-year-old since birth who calls me Mommy or Momma (of course). Case is headed to TPR/adoption.

Next week, I am taking in his 8-year-old sister, also for TPR/adoption. Honey Girl knows her birth parents and is currently placed with grandfather. I am not a relative.

I am sure at some point she is going to ask me why Sonny Boy calls me Mommy or will ask what she should call me, etc. I plan to adopt both children.

For now, should she call me "Katie", "Miss Katie", "Aunt Katie", "Momma Katie", "Mommy," etc?

Any thoughts on how to approach this issue with an 8-year-old? I thought I would just ask her what she wants to call me.....(as long as it's nice, of course).

[AmyAnne]

I would ask the child was she's comfortable with. My son started off WANTING to call us Mom and Dad, but it took him a few weeks to be able to do it. He called us by our first names until then.

I would avoid "Aunt Kate" because she may get confused over how she is related to you... unless that's ALREADY what she calls you.

I know many people had luck with the "Mommy Kate" one, because she can simply drop "Kate" when she's ready.

[Elle83]

We refer to each other as Mommy E.... and Daddy J...., the kids are allowed to call us by our first names if they want - it took our 3 and 4 yr old girls 4 weeks to make the switch to Mommy and Daddy, our other little ones (all under 5) picked up Mommy and Daddy within a few days. Our 9 year old always called us by our first names but that was a short term placement from the start - we have always found Mommy ____ works well...

[stevenstwin]

Fake names here, but you'll see the pattern...we started with Mrs. Wilson(!) and Bob. FS was 14 and had been my student, so was used to Mrs. Over time that became Sarah and Bob. Now it is Mom and Bob. I think it is funny that mine morphed so much, but hubby has always just been Bob. Point is - the kids will generally figure out what feels comfortable for them, and it can change over time.

[greenrobin]

When a child arrives, I always introduce myself by my first name. Then I let it go. Whatever the child decides--and except for 1 case, it's always been a variation of mom.--is fine as long as it's respectful.

My very favorite, though, was one little Hispanic girl who called me Dama Mamacita!

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by greenrobin

Dama Mamacita!

That is so cute!!
When the kids we have now arrived we just introduced ourselves as Joe and Cheryl and thats what they call us. The 4 yr old is starting to say you aren't my mommy with a question in her voice and I just say no I'm your friend and that makes her happy. The 1 yr old is starting to say mom mom mom like babies do and I guess I'm going to start answering him when he does I've been trying to figure out if I should acknowledge it with a what or just let him babble like I know he is doing. The kids are starting to call my husband daddy Joe but they have no dad in their lives so its easier I think for them to let him be that figure. They are very aware of mommy and that I'm not her. I'm fine with just Cheryl cause thats who I am.