[blubutterflies03]

all the foster children I have in my home are here because their parents have been on drugs. For my Baby "B" his birthmom is in rehab now for 6 weeks now. My other 2 children who are siblings "Spiderman" and "Pinkdancer", parents are in jail and we awaiting the conclusion of their criminal hearing from today. They have been in care since November and the parents have done no rehabilitating whatsoever.

My question is, of all the foster children you have had in your own home, how many have gone home to successful rehabilitators vs. not? I am having a wierd feeling about my "baby b's" mom rehabilitating right now...just a funny feeling about something, and need to know how other cases have faired out. thanks.

[EandDmom]

Well this is my first placement so not any help to you really but it is for drugs. I found out today from caseworker mom no longer has her job. Not sure what happened last week I was told she had a new job now she is unemployed. I was also told mom missed one drug test so that is going down as a positive reading then she missed 2 retests that were scheduled. When we first got the kids almost 3 weeks ago we were told mom was very upset and was going to do everything to get her kids back as fast as possible. I guess that went out the window pretty fast. I have a bad feeling mom is having fun not worrying about taking care of the kids for awhile. I just hope at her next court date in aug. the judge doesn't send them home. They were put in fostercare the first time in April and are already back in care less than 3 months later for round 2.

[Yash]

I've had four placements. 2 of them I adopted. Birthmoms didn't work their case plans. 1 a relative adopted. And my lone foster daughter last I heard bio mom finally checked into rehab, Willow was 5 months and in her 3rd home, and was trying to get the courts to allow Willow to move into rehab with her.

EandDmom, your foster kids reentering the system is not unusual. I think the statistic is over 60% of the children who return home reenter the system within 6 months.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I have had 5 placements. Baby girl went home to mom a couple of weeks after we did respite for her. Mom was doing well. Two are in process of TPR and parents did nothing on plan. The other two are living with their grandmother while mom went to rehab out of state.

These cases fair VERY poorly here. We have few good rehabs close by AND none in the state that take those without insurance which is many of bioparents case. So the one out of state is where some go but the waiting list is LONG and they have to start working their case often before attending rehab. It's hard. From what I have heard they are not expecting mom to stay clean.

So my score is 1-4. Not exactly a winning season.

Kim

[AmahMama]

We've had lots of placements. Most were drugs. Most went to ru. Of 54 placements, 10 went to adoption, 8 went to family, 2 are still here, and the rest were ru'd, 2 sib grps of 2 were back into placement and went to adoption (that we know of). So roughly about 50% of the bio's did their case plan and carried out to RU. A couple of them really suprised me and they are still doing well (via the grapevine!). Horray for them!!

It is common for a bio to have hysterics at the time of removal, do thier "grieving" via self medication, and sober up to do a case plan (maybe). In my own experience, this seems like the "norm". Some of the "grieving" goes on until they are faces with tpr and then they "wake up" and comply. Some just seem to use the system as their babysitters and stay on enough of a "cycle" to keep it going for several years. Yes, it is less demanding to care for a child that has been raised properly and is now in school most days than it is to have a 24/7 infant. That's a harsh thing to say - but imho this happens way to often.... bio's having ru after several "chances" - and someone else has lovingly raised the child for years only to have the child sent home because "Mom" finally completed something. Ok - off my soapbox!!

This is just what I've found in my own life and others may have other experiences. Good luck....

[Robbin]

Our first placement was taken from mom and returned to dad in 4 months, her 1/2 bro was with us for 18 months then went w/grandma. Our second set of girls were returned to biomom. An 11 yr old boy was taken from mom, and returned to dad after about 6 months. A 7 yr old girl who had already been raped before we got her went to a psychiatric facility. We had a boy in and out for 6 years, who finally went to a facility for independent living. Then, we adopted two half sisters and an unrelated boy.

[msgypsylee]

My first FC--mom had failed rehab, dad never tried. They surrendered and I am adopting. My current FC---unknown dad, mom is goign to rehab soon hopefully. I'm crossing my fingers for her but she is a long time user so who knows.

[tinatyme]

Of the 9 placements that we have had 5 have been drug related and none of the parents were successful with rehabilitation. In our case the babies went to a birth father who didn't even know about the pregnancy, three to grandparents and one we are currently fostering and hoping to adopt.

We live in an area with high meth and IV drug use and I haven't seen a lot of the foster children in our area returned to their bparents that are/were users.

[EandDmom]

Originally Posted by Yash

EandDmom, your foster kids reentering the system is not unusual. I think the statistic is over 60% of the children who return home reenter the system within 6 months.

I didnt know that thanks for that info.

[greenrobin]

First fd went to live in a mission with her mother because there was no one else who'd take her--she and mom were VERY manipulative. Meth for mom, and as far as I can tell, she's still using.

The second sib set: 2 went to a psych facility and 1 went to an assessment home before being placed in a therapeutic home. The first 2 ended up living in a shelter. The state decided that what was best for the baby was to send her to the therapeutic home, too. They went to a drug addicted relative and are now back in care. They were legal risk kids last year. Mom was an addict. I don't think services were even offered.

Third group, no drug issue, just abuse. They went to relatives last summer then dropped out of sight. Not even the state cw knows where they are now.

Fourth set, drugs, alcohol, violence and crime issues. Dad is incarcerated again. Mom has been in and out of rehab, but apparently never really clean for more than a few days at a time on the outside. The TPR trial is this fall. She still has services offered, could still turn it around if she tried, but no one seems to think that's going to happen.

I'm evil for thinking this, but at this point, part of me is hoping she doesn't. I love her babies, my babies.

With every single placement we've had, we've been able to see how generational the problems are. Not only are we asking these people to lose an addiction, we're asking them to make a whole new life that they don't even know about. No wonder there's so many returns for our kids.

[MassachusettsMom]

WOW! Interesting thread. Begs the question as to why we keep these kids in limbo so long when the stats for their BPs are so bad.

For those of you who have seen kids come back into care, is there any sense of how long that typically takes?

We've known families whose foster kids have come back at 6 and 8 months after RU.

Our former FS was court-ordered RUed a few weeks ago after DSS lost at TPR. BPs never did rehab and evidence suggests that they are still using. We've been unofficially advised to keep our hearts open for a few months as DSS seems unconvinced that the BPs will be able to hold it together.

[afamilythroughfoster]

1st placement- born addicted to crack. Ru'd with dad who stated that only mom used. He looked clean and respectful. But have to wonder, if that was the case, why was he with her?

2nd placement we adopted mom wandered in/out of outpt rehab but could not commit. Ultimately ended up in jail on other charges.

3rd child-another foster family. Mom got to do inpatient rehab which does have better short term success since they're isolated. She moved as soon as she got the kids back. Never heard from again.

In our area, I've noticed they tend to dual track the children for RU and adopt. Being open about with the parents to let them know they're serious about losing their children and making adoptions go faster.

[tinatyme]

One of our babies was RU with the birthmom in a treatment halfway house. She ultimately moved out about 2 weeks after he returned to her and moved in with her girlfriend who had also just had a baby and was an addict. He returned to us after 2 months. It was so sad because all the things we had sent with him, clothes, bathtub, toys, medicine were gone. He came back to us in a dirty onesie in the middle of the winter! I don't even want to imagine what kind of care he received those two months. Fortunately at the same time that was happening his birth father was working to have his home approved and get custody. He seemed to be a great guy who was also raising his 7 year old daughter with his girlfriend. We were able to visit with the a baby a couple times after RU and it was easy to tell he was taken care of. I often wondered how/why he had procreated with the birthmom but it started to make my head hurt.

I have seen a couple of children returned to their foster families here and it is usually within 6 months.