[Happy_Cat]

My DH and I had a placement last Wednesday of two little ones. They are completely open for adoption except they were trying to decide what to do with an older sibling. We told them we would take the younger two, but not the older one. The older had previously been separated due to some allegations of abuse from him to the yougner ones.

Anyway, I got a call this afternoon making sure I could meet tomorrow at 10 to drop the kids off! It was the first I heard of it. The last family they were with had already told DFCS they would not take the older one, then they decided they didn't even want the younger two which is when they placed them with us. It seems like after they kids left that family decided they had made a mistake and would take all 3 of them.

I knew this placement could be temporary, but I can't believe that I wouldn't get the common courtesy of a phone call saying they would be moved.

This isn't even the first time DFCS has done this to us. We got a phone call asking if we would take a placement that we had previously had who had been reunited with bio and were coming back into custody. We, of course, said yes and started getting our house ready, we had recently moved so had to re-set up rooms. When we didn't hear from the case worker about a time I called her back and when I could finally get in touch with her she said "oh I forgot to tell you, their grandparents agreed to take them." What? You forgot to tell us? Is common courtesy to much to ask from them?

The kids we have worked with have been great, but my DH is about to say we will never do this again and I'm at my wits end. Are private agencies any better?

[Withay]

I am so sorry that this is happening. I don't know about private agencies, but the DHS office that I work with will once in a while 'forget' to call back with a change in a placement. I have gotten into the habit of asking how long until the cw will call me when my certifier calls regarding a placement. DHS now knows to contact me or I will complain.

I would recommend talking with your certifier about this issue. Explain that while you know that sometimes it gets chaotic during the placement, a phone call to let you know of any changes is important. Let them know that you expect to have that common courtesy.

[meshsgrl]

I never buy anything or make any changes for kids until I know they are on their way....
I also am not afraid to call to double check with things.... these people are human and to many of them this is simply a "job" they forget they are working with humans!!!

[Happy_Cat]

Thank you for the replies. I did call yesterday and finally got ahold of someone who I could complain too. They were apropriately apologetic and understanding that I might need more than a few hours notice before they leave. She offered to give me more time, but I had already told the kids they were moving this morning so I didn't want to tell them something different. It is just frustrating that this is seems status-quo since it has happened multiple times.

[greenrobin]

I work through a private agency. The bottom line is that DFPS calls the shots. My agency acts a sort of liason to find homes for kids who come through DFPS. They do not have custody of any kids. Yes, the agency is very good about keeping me updated on what they know, but--and this is a big but--sometimes the agency doesn't know any more (and sometimes less) than I do. Again, the cw from the state is actually in charge.

[c.a]

Check your state's regulations. In my state they have to give me three days notice before removing a kid from my home (unless judge orders immediate return to bio parents).

I did once have a CW give me the heads up that she overheard another CW planning to remove a child from my home same day to move to a family placement (no notice at all, just planning on showing up). I immediately called him and complained - and insisted on my three days.

I also take emergency (after hours placements). Once, a worker called at 1:00 a.m. and asked if I could take a placement. I said yes, then didn't hear from then for two hours. They found a family placement and then all went back to bed without contacting me. I had them all paged at 3:00 a.m. to follow up. Now they call me back.

Same with late pick ups (on emergency calls- when the worker is supposed to pick them up no later than 8:00 a.m. the next day). I told my social worker. If your workers are late - I will wait 5 minutes without a call and 15 with a call. Beyond that, the child is getting in my car and going to work with me. If that means that your caseworker has to chase me around all day to get the kid - tough. That only happened once.

This all being said, I am sympathetic that caseworkers are overloaded and often working in "crisis" mode. I do try to be sympathetic and know that often they are as frustrated as we are about always moving kids and rearranging schedules at the last minute.