[nurse mama]

We have had a vacation scheduled for months now. We didn't plan on having a placement at this time, but the mother has agreed to let the child go with us. It will be a really long road trip to a beach. The child is an infant. Do you guys usually take your placement or use respite? Apparently this will be my choice as I have permission for both. I am torn. On one hand, I hate to leave her. On the other, I hate to have her ride so far.

[vegaschristina]

We've always taken them with, but we did use respite when we moved into our new house so I could get unpacked without them underfoot.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

An infant will not only NOT enjoy the long ride, but will probably not see the beauty in a beach vacation. HeeHee. You would have to use major sunscreen and be under canopy etc all the time which leaves little fun time with the other kiddos or relaxation for yourself....and isn't that what a vacation is for. If you had given birth to this child you probably just would not have planned a vacation, but as it is, you are caring for this infant and should not put your family plans on hold.

We just took care of a beautiful 7mo old baby girl for the week and weekend of 4th of July so that her foster family could go to the lake and not worry about her. She did great and we enjoyed having her. They got to relax and have fun.

I suggest respite. Don't feel guilty for leaving her. She will be fine and if she could actually SAY what she wanted she would probably request respite herself. HeeHee. If you take her, you may feel guilty for lugging her to places she doesn't want to go, or making her nap in not so perfect napping places, or for spoiling fun for the other kids,......and then come back more tired than you were when you left. NO---don't do that!

If you know another foster family, you could ask them to do respite and then she would be with someone you know. If not, ask the caseworker to find someone early so that you can go meet them, give them a copy of the schedule she is on, find out what they already have in terms of carseat, stroller, highchair and what they don't have that you will need to send like formula, diapers, etc.

Good Luck and go have fun. You will return a much better foster mom for her.

Kim

[Chancey]

We drove to DisneyWorld from Texas and we put the infant we had at the time in respite. I was sure that it would not be any fun for us or him. It turned out really good and I was really pleased we chose to do that.

[jbee]

we always took our kids as babies (bio and fk) to myrtle beach (10 hours), we either drove at night, or if they were little and slept all day during the day. last time we drove 1/2 and stayed in a hotel. our kids were always good and did great.
the older boys are going to respite this year. i am not staying in a room or condo with two stinky teenage boys. i share a bathroom with them here and that alone is reason to leave them here.

[ranoutofnames]

When we are taking any vacation that has to do with water we put the little ones (under 3yrs old) in respite. Taking them along is just too stressful in those circumstances.

[vernellinnj]

I've always taken the child with me...never an infant though. Have fun!

[Boulderbabe]

I've done both things---I have taken my kids, and I have put them in respite.

Many kids are troopers on long car trips. I drove across the country when my son was 2, and he was awesome! The car is soothing, somehow. Just plan on taking a lot of breaks, and maybe even a day more than you planned if it's a long trip.

I've left kids, too. It's hard on them and hard on you. Avoid if possible. Babies don't understand why they are being left behind, and I think it is distressing to them.

[Yash]

I always took my kids with me. How long has the baby been with you? Who would did the respite care? Is it someone you know? Someone the baby is familiar with?

Jbee's suggestion of traveling while the baby is sleep is a great. Or splitting up the drive.

Have a great vacation.

[hubbyswife]

We took our then FD on a road trip for about 10 hrs. She was about 8mths at the time and she did great. We stopped plenty of times. We had gotten her about 2 months before and well I couldn't leave her. She was comfortable w us so I didn't want her to have to get used to someone else. It was a personal choice. She came to us neglected and didn't show much of emotions. By the time we were leaving for vacation she was laughing nd smiling..

It's up to you... if we couldn't have taken her w us, bmom had to give permission, we had respite lined up just in case.... but I think we might have cancelled our vacation, if we couldn't take her w us.

[mama-2-3]

We usually take the kids with us, but if I had an infant and was going on a long road trip, I would most likely use respite.

[msgypsylee]

I'm taking my almost 3 month old with me next month on the family vacation. I know she's just a baby and won't appreciate the ocean but I just can't not take her. Our car ride will be about 2.5 hours.

I have the beach canopy and there will be other adults there to help out.

[mom2behappy]

i have never used respite for my kids for any vacations. vacations are family times in my heart any child living in my home regardless of time there or age is my family and since I want them to always feel like family how would I explain to the older children that while yes i want you to feel like and behave as a family member I wont take you on a family vacation? this year my son turned 3 and for his birthday I took him to disneyworld back in april my current fd was nine months @ the time and my family kept saying I should leave her she wont understand nor wiil she enjoy the park she was too young for the rides etc. and my Aunt who is her babysitter and has been since she was 14 days old wanted me to leave her with her for the week that I would be in Disney. I took her with us and I was glad I did we took many pictures she is now going to be my adopted daughter so when she looks back @ those pics in the future of her brothers 3rd birthday she will see herself in the families disney trip also instead of wondering why she isn't in any when she was obviously born and living in the family @ that time.

[Withay]

I have always taken my fc on vacation with me. In fact, I have never used respite except for the time that I had pneumonia.

Two years ago, my sister and I took her 14 yo special needs daughter and all 3 of my fc - 8 mo, 4 mo and 2 mo on vacation in our RV where we travelled for 3 days and went 1/2 way across the country. They all did beautifully on the drive.

[vernellinnj]

I never used respite either. Must be my mom's fault....when I was young she didn't believe in us spending the night at anyone's house. I feel the same way. I need to get to know more FMs then it wouldn't feel like respite.