[shycar]

I know that Im going to be getting really frustrated. I have done many many unsupervised visit, but never had anyone miss so much.

Punky's dad tends to miss a lot of visit, excuses have been work, courts, and car not working. Now they are unsupervised, sw thinking this might work better. Nope. Monday I make arrangements for Thursday. I get a call Wed, he cant do it, so re-schedule for Friday. Thursday I get a call, he cant do it, so re-schedule for Sundy right after church. Now I do not have my cell phone on in church and I told him. To make in time for visit I have to leave 20 min early from church and I told him this. So I leave early, get outside, get all kids in car, turn on my phone, HE CANCELLED hissy: . Now he wants a make up. I dont mind making up visit once in awhile, but I have a life too. He can only do visit in evening, which is the middle of dinner and family time, but I dont mind, if he was regular, he is not. I am very active in my church and I do volunteer work on some evenings and I can not just cancel with them whenever dad wants a make up. Im frustrated. Whats going to happen when they get longer. Punky can not be up till 10pm becouse they can only do evening. They work weekends too. . I called sw and she is of course out till tomorrow. I did re-schedule visit for tomorrow, but I do not plan to give him two visit this week. With my schedule this week there is no way. Punky will be up late tomorrow, becouse of visit and I will mention that to sw also. I just needed to vent.

[tvs4]

Vent away... that would be very frustrating. Keep a document of all missed or rescheduled visits. I too have sympathy for people who have work schedules that change quickly, or family dynamics that make visits hard but it is not your job to cater to his every whim. I'd say set a day for a visit, if he shows great! if not then he'll have to wait until next week and time. With a weeks notice most people SHOUlD be able to find a way to make it to one visit - esp if you let him pick the day and time to work out for his work. Maybe it is time to let the CW do the visits and drop off so the CW can get a better understanding of what this is doing to your normal life and schedule.

vent away...

[TAC]

I can't believe such a burden has been put on you. Definitely, I would make it the responsibility of the sw to take care of transportation. I can't believe with the record prior he has unsupervised visits to begin with.

This is gravely unfair to you, your family and the child. Wish you well with this. As last reader posted, and I'm sure you know, document, document, document.

pat

[mrstkg1]

We were in a similar position once. Finally, we had to decide, okay, with the parent we decided what day would be best. Say we decided on Tuesday at 5:00, then that's when the visit is. If they have to cancel for some reason, then we'll see you next Tuesday at 5:00. Look at it this way, the sw's would not be doing this if they had to transport. The parent would have their day and time and that's it, it wouldn't even be possible. Your time is as important and you must hold the parent accountable. That is part of the problem. Best wishes.

[Robbin]

What we did for one unreliable parent (and the office was a 45 min one way drive) was have the parent call the night before or morning of the visit to confirm. If the cw didn't get the confirmation by a pre-arranged time, the visit was off until the next scheduled visit, and documented as a no-show.

It is absolutely unacceptable that this parent's irresponsibility should disrupt you, your family, and the child to this degree.

[Boulderbabe]

Have you talked this out with the social worker? It seems unreasonable to ask you to schedule so many visits in a week.

Maybe you can use the DSS policy: if he misses a visit because of any problems on his end, there are no makeups. He'll have to wait until the next scheduled visit.

[shycar]

Thanks Guys. I did leave a message to the sw. She is out of town till tomorrow, so hopefully we can chat. She is coming for a visit this week. The unsupervised visits is to start transition Punky home, so usually sw leave it up to foster parents and b-parents make their own schedule. I just dont know what will happen when they need to have her there all day long. I hope they have a sitter.