[mykyry]

we did not go into foster care to adopt, but went ahead and became certified to do so just in case. Well "just in case" has happened. We have fell in love with our 4 1/2 month old fd. We have had her since she was 6 weeks old. We have really bonded. TPR is expected and both her worker and our R&C worker are supportive of us adopting her. We know we can give her a good, secure, loving home. Our biggest concern is our age...I am 45 and my dh is 50. We want only the best for our fd, but we are not sure it would be fair to her to adopt her at our age. Anyone else our age adopted infants?

[sgtfirstwife]

LOL....Yep been there done that...several times. I was 43 and my husband 36 when we adopted our seven year old. Now we have a one year old adopted son and are hoping to adopt our 6 month fs. Now I am nearly 50 and my husband will soon be 43.

Age to does not really matter. It is the love we can provide to the child. I still have lots of enegy. Besides things have changed since our mothers time. People have babies when they are fifty. One of my friends had twins at forty-five. We are better money wise, more stable and I think I have more patience now then ever. Besides now I can almost order off the kids menu and the senior menus at the same time LOL!!!

As long as you have the health, the patience and lots of love, I say go for it. You have been offered a special gift, grab hold and love with all you got.

Good Luck and much happiness

[mama-2-3]

I say "go for it." My in-laws had kids very late in life and they were/are the greatest parents (now grandparents). My husband has very fond memories of his childhood and the thought of their age never even crossed his mind while growing up. They took the kids on trips, drove them to baseball practice, helped them get paper routes, and loved them to pieces (which is all kids really want anyway... to feel special and loved).

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Originally Posted by mykyry

We know we can give her a good, secure, loving home.

That's all that needed to be considered in my book.

Don't focus on your age.....none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, so it is what we make of our children's TODAY that really matters. One day at a time-- be this child's loving parents.

Besides, I don't think anything happens by accident. You got licensed "just in case"......the "just in case" happens almost immediately on a child placed in your care since birth practically..........someone's trying to tell you something I'd say.

Good Luck!

Kim

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by mykyry

we did not go into foster care to adopt, but went ahead and became certified to do so just in case. Well "just in case" has happened. We have fell in love with our 4 1/2 month old fd. We have had her since she was 6 weeks old. We have really bonded. TPR is expected and both her worker and our R&C worker are supportive of us adopting her. We know we can give her a good, secure, loving home. Our biggest concern is our age...I am 45 and my dh is 50. We want only the best for our fd, but we are not sure it would be fair to her to adopt her at our age. Anyone else our age adopted infants?

Go for it!!! My dh is 54 and I am 53--we are going strong and enjoying ds who is 8. 50 is the "new 40" as far as am concerned!

You are all this little darling knows. If you want to raise her, go ahead.

I ignore the "are you his grandmother" comments. I color my hair and ignore the ignorant comments like that.

Our lil guy is so happy, and so will your darling daughter.

Let us celebrate your family birthday with you!

[greenrobin]

I'm 47, Dh will be 50 in a few months. We didn't license to adopt--we only wanted to foster. That was a mistake! We've had 5 other little bitties we'd have adopted if the opportunity arose.

Right now we're awaiting TPR on Bubba, 4, and Sissy, nearly 3 (which is the new 2) and perhaps a baby expected at the end of summer. And we're going for it.

Our friends keep asking us if we're crazy. I even got told the other day that I was no spring chicken! But, I just smile and nod. If they want to think that, then okay. And some days I agree! The bottom line is that loving kids doesn't have an upper age limit. I'll be 63 when Sissy graduates from high school. So what? I'm going to be 63 anyway

Only you can decide. Can YOU handle it? How would you feel if you said no? Which way looks best to you?

The only advice I can give is this: Pray. Then follow. It can never be wrong.

I wish you, your husband and the baby the best of all possible outcomes!

[CaddoRose]

I'm 45 and DH will be 50 in Nov. We're looking to adopt through foster care and also continue to do foster care utnil we just can't anymore! My DH's father was 53 when he was born, and he lived until he was 95. You are too old to be parents.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by CaddoRose

I'm 45 and DH will be 50 in Nov. We're looking to adopt through foster care and also continue to do foster care utnil we just can't anymore! My DH's father was 53 when he was born, and he lived until he was 95. You are too old to be parents.

Oops--did you mean you are NEVER to old to be parents or NOT too old to be parents?

[JessicaBaker]

Keep her history intact and do it

You love her and that's what counts

[twinflana]

I am 45 and my hubby is 53. We did not get licensed for foster/adopt, we were foster only. I swore I would never adopt then we got a cocaine addicted baby was he was 2 days old. We adopted him when he was 9 months old there was no way we could give him up. The day before we adopted him we received a 3 1/2 month old with medical needs. His mother surrendered a month later. We adopted him also. My granddaughter is 2 months older than the older boy but who cares. I get comments from everyone. I cant tell you how many times I have been called their grandma. I even decided to stop dyeing my hair because if they figure I am the grandma then what is the point of trying to cover the gray. We love them with all our hearts and would do the same thing again.

[TallulahGA]

I am 42 and my wonderful husband is 53. We are just a few weeks away from finalization on our adoption. Our son is 2 1/2. We are the only parents he knows since we got him as an infant. My husband has a 32 year old son from a previous marriage. I have no bio children so if I did not have this oppportunity to adopt my beautiful son, I would never of known the joy of motherhood. Nothing compares to it. There could be no greater calling than to love, teach and protect my son.

[CaddoRose]

Originally Posted by RobinKay

Oops--did you mean you are NEVER to old to be parents or NOT too old to be parents?

Haaa!! Yes, you are never too old to be parents!! LOL.

[yorkiegirl]

Im 45 my husband 42.We have an 8 and 2 yr old foster sons,no one has ever assumed they were our grandkids though I do have a 9 year old grand daughter.Everyone thinks we are in our 30s because they always warn us about getting 40 something--lol. I just laugh it all off.Your never too old to love and raise children!

[Ethans_Mom]

I'm 42 and DH is 50. We have a 3 1/2 year old and are looking at foster/adopt to add a precious daughter to our family. I don't see any problem with your ages!!

(we're hoping for an infant, but are open to any age younger than our son)

[KelleyF]

I know just what you mean. My dh and I have talked about this many times. He always says "do you know how old we'll be when he graduates?!!" I think my dh's biggest issue is that he's not sure if he'll be able to handle some difficult teenage years (hypothetically) when he's 60ish. We've had an extremely difficult year this past year with our 17 yr. old son and it has really given my husband a different perspective on adopting a baby at this point in our lives. I tend to focus on the here and now, and how great we feel and how much we love our fs. He looks more into the future. I know, you certainly can't "assume" bad things are going to happen, but you really should be prepared if they do. I guess adopting a baby at our ages (42 and 44) may not be the perfect scenario, but then again, these kids didn't come from the perfect scenario either. I think my dh would feel differently if we didn't already have 3 teenagers, and I'm sure this past year has really spooked him. (me too....a little)