[kxl164]

Hi all,

We are in the process of adopting our foster children. Their sibling was allowed to remain with birthfamily after birth. Birthfamily has since given child to a family out of state instead of dealing with DSS again. The child was not being treated well with birthfamily and is now being taken care of wonderfully.

Our issue. What do we do? What should we do? What can we do?

We thought the baby would be placed with us if the child came into care in our state. That is a common practice here. Everyone told us it would be a matter of time, but given our current adoption we could/should do nothing but wait and be open to the placement of the sibling if needed.

Now that the child is out of state ... is there anything for us to do? We believed the child would be growing up with siblings as part of our family, now the baby is not with birthfamily, nor with extended family, but with strangers out of state. (Strangers who are now family to the child, love the child, and want to keep the child.)

We would take this child in an instant, but we wouldn't want to remove any child from a loving home and cause further pain and confusion. We would like for all of the siblings to have contact, but the out of state family isn't responsive to us.

Words of wisdom?

[vegaschristina]

Unless the child was taken by the state, the birth parents have every right to select a family to place their child into, and it sounds like that's what they've done.

[kxl164]

Originally Posted by vegaschristina

Unless the child was taken by the state, the birth parents have every right to select a family to place their child into, and it sounds like that's what they've done.

I would be fine with this, if it wasn't for the coercion factor.