[o2b30again]

We are in the process of adopting a sibling group from foster. The parents are young 22 and 25. They have had a child a year since they were together...and this is an on and off relationship. Get married, divorced, dating etc... So I was wondering how often it happens that a baby would come into foster in the future that would be a sibling to the ones I am adopting? Does it just come up in the system and will I be contacted? How often have you seen this happen? My SW even mentioned that we should be prepared. Shoot me your thoughts.

[luvmykids4]

As far as I know, it is relatively common for a birth mom or parents to have several children end up in care. We have a baby who has five older siblings who were all placed in care at different times. My husband and I actually mentioned the same possibility as you. If you would be interested in caring for a new sibling, I would mention it to your caseworker. They may not be able to place with you, but at least you tried. Friends of ours had a similar situation, but the sibling was then in a different county and our friends could not get the baby. Good luck.

[tinatyme]

I think it is very common. Most of the children I have been placed with have older and younger siblings. My most recent placements have been the 6th and 4th child of relatively young parents that have many child bearing years ahead of them. I echo the thought that if you would like the child to be placed with you that you should notify the department so they know that your home is open and that you are willing to consider it. We recently got word that it is something we will have to consider in the next few months but I'm nervous. I don't know if I'm up for 5 under 5!

[vegaschristina]

We were blessed to adopt our first foster child, and about 1 month after her adoption was finalized, we got the call saying her baby brother was in care, so we got him. About 9 months later, we got their baby sister. We're now past TPR (mom relinquished) and waiting on the whole adoption process to go thru again.

[straightblues]

I think it is common.

Just because a bio mom has children in the system, they do not automatically take a new baby. In my case, we were asked to be prepared to take another baby. Well the baby was born two months before TPR and the county let the birth mother keep it. In fact, the baby was at the TPR hearing. I don't understand how they can keep one, while being TPR'd on three, but the law sees them differently.

[tinatyme]

Originally Posted by straightblues

I think it is common.

Just because a bio mom has children in the system, they do not automatically take a new baby. In my case, we were asked to be prepared to take another baby. Well the baby was born two months before TPR and the county let the birth mother keep it. In fact, the baby was at the TPR hearing. I don't understand how they can keep one, while being TPR'd on three, but the law sees them differently.

In our state I was told it depended on whether the TPR was voluntary or involuntary and if the behaviors that required TPR previously had continued. Our fd sibling is due to be born in August and I'm told that the baby will definitely be taken. I think it depends on the state that you live in and their policies in terms of taking babies into care from birth. My state is pretty committed to taking babies at birth if there is any sign of drug use or neglect. A neighboring state is very lenient and I know many babies that have gone home with parents that have tested positive for drugs in the hospital and/or had previous cases of serious neglect. Unfortunately, a lot of those children end up coming into care when they are older and have already suffered abuse. It is a shame because usually they are the 4th, 5th, or even 11th child and there was definitely a reasonable expectation that the parent was not going to change their behavior with this child.

Of course then it is up to the foster parents to pick up the pieces and try to get them healthy. Then in a few months we hear that the birth mother is pregnant again. Very frustrating.

[unclederwood]

We are in a similiar position right now. Our adoption should be final on our 15 month FS and his 27 month sister this month. There birthmom is 18 and pregnant again. Ugh!!! BD is 21 and his new girlfriend is pregnant. The biological aunt and uncle ask us last week, if we would take either of the new babies. We are definitely open to taking them, but it's almost like you can't keep rescuing them from their bad judgment.

[BethanyB]

It happened to me. I was placed with my son when he was two weeks old. He already had a bio sister in foster care and mom was not working the plan so they took him at birth and placed him with me. I told the SW's that I would be interested in a sibling should that happen in time. Well it did happen and a bit sooner than I was ready for but I jumped in anyway when I got the call for my son's newborn sister.

She gave birth in another county in my state but they checked records and tracked down that she had kids in the system so they did not allow her to keep the new baby.

Now I was told that if she does have another child in another state, there would be no way to track us down here in our state. They told me to call from time to time to see if there were any other babies born. I have not done that as I really can't afford to take any more children as much as I would like to.

[lakin11]

We are in this situation. It can be both positive and negative.

With us, we are still in the process of adopting 3 siblings. We got their 1/2 brother at 2 months old. He will be 1 in just a few days......and going back to bios in just a few weeks.

We love and adore this little guy more than words can say. However, it is heartbreaking to all involved to know that he's going back to bio mom. While she never did any kind of case plan for the older 3, she did work one for the baby. I don't think she's changed, but she's fooled everyone enough to get him back.

I'm glad we've had him and have been able to enjoy the time with him but the heartbreak this is going to bring on the other kids was not something we really thought about when we said yes. Honestly, I don't think we thought she'd stick it out, but she did.

Just a word of caution......if you are willing to take a sibling, think about the future as well. The older kids remember the situation they left, and know what the baby will be entering into. That kind of worry is not something we'd wish upon them again.

With another situation, we have 2 sibs, one we've had for 1 1/2 yrs the other came at 2 months as well. The baby in this case is going home as well. Of course her bio sister is really to young to understand it all, and has no memory of ever living w/ biomom.

[eomaia]

It seems to really vary by state, by county and by caseworker. Earlier this year in Iowa, there was a very sad case- the older sister had been put into foster care due to severe physical abuse, but the parents were allowed to keep the infant twins, and the older daughter was returned to them. A couple months later, the infant boy was dead, and the surviving girls both showed signs of severe ongoing abuse.

I've heard of other cases where infants were taken purely on the basis of past TPRs, or where parents were offered a deal- voluntarily TPR for older children in exchange for being allowed to keep the baby.

Personally, I think if someone has major issues that will always be a barrier to parenting, someone should explain that to them and encourage them to get sterilized.

[mommy2fiveplus]

Our ason's bio mom had lost two other kids in (one in CA and one in FL) when she had our son in MI. The nurses at the hospital noticed her previous c-section scars and she had reported that she had never had any other children. They also suspected mental health issues and had confirmed drug abuse, so they took baby P at birth (we picked him up at the hospital). We just finalized last month and they told us flat out to expect a call in 1-2 years because she told the court she was "just gonna have a new one" if they took this one.

We decided to encourage our good friends (struggling with infertility) to become licensed so they could adopt the sibling (if it happens) so the kids could grow up knowing each other. We want to continue to foster sibling groups and that could be jeprodized if we continue to adopt little bros and sis's since we already have 5 and MI limits foster care to 8 kids under 18. We asked the CW and the director of the agency and she said she thought that was a fabulous idea, and since our friends wanted to foster anyway the agency just gained a new family.

[hubbyswife]

straightblues- I dont get it either. We have had this situation. Ok, u cannot parent these children bc of your issues, which by the way, u haven't worked on, but u can parent this new baby..... go figure... i don't get it....

[tinatyme]

Originally Posted by mommy2fiveplus

We just finalized last month and they told us flat out to expect a call in 1-2 years because she told the court she was "just gonna have a new one" if they took this one.

One of our children's birthmom told me and the cw last October that she was trying to get pregnant again . . . and she did. It was no accident and definitely planned. Now this baby, her 8th(!), will end up in foster care as well. It makes me want to scream. There is no reason that another child should have to begin their life in foster care to a parent that has not and isn't planning on changing her behaviors in order to get them back. Already in our county there are multiple babies being placed from the hospital because of drug addicted mothers and then you have repeat bmom's who continue to get pregnant and even plan it. Is it the attention? Are they delusional? I don't understand. Either way, we are getting the nursery ready.

[fostermom4adoption]

We currently have two siblings. They are 4 and 2 and we have had them for 2 years in September. TPR has been granted but an appeal was filed, we are currently awaiting that which will should be complete in September. birthmom had a new baby in early July. Currently my really good friend has him so if we decide not to take baby the children will be connected, she is also a foster/adoptive parent. We are waiting main reason is I work a FT job and have no means for daycare until after child is 6 weeks old. Then there is a mom who appeared at 38 hr hearing stating he maybe the father. We visit with the baby regularly and infact are doing respite next weekend. I am very concerened b/c our CW and the babies CW tells me since our case is in appeal status she gets a whole new case with this child. How can a judge state in January that the BPs are unfit to raise the children and then in July they get another chance before the adoption process is even complete. It just does not seem right to me, maybe if it was a couple of years down the road and they actually had time to straighten their lives out but now...only 7 months later!!! I can see that they can't add this babies name to our TPR since our case is basicly done but why would this child not go directly to TPR status. But now, we start over with visits, caseplans, etc. My question is what is the likely hood that BPs actually get things straight and do you think DFCS will now also have grounds to stand on to say they have two children who have been TPRed??? Someone please help to ease my mind that it will be ok to take this new baby and bond with him and not have the fear of him being removed.

[OakShannon]

Originally Posted by tinatyme

Is it the attention? Are they delusional? I don't understand. Either way, we are getting the nursery ready.

It's appalling, isn't it? At the adoption support group I go to through my agency, there is a couple who have adopted 2 young siblings. They are the 12th and 13th children of these birthparents. ALL of them have been removed.

We were asked when we took Daniel if we would be interested in any siblings that were born later. I don't know that it would happen (and I hope not) but we said yes just in case.