[greenrobin]

Bubba requested and was granted a visit with the judge in his case. He's 4, but he's not stupid! I think he just wanted to be sure that there really was a judge, not just someone I made up. He's nervous, partly because it's anew situation, partly because he thinks he's going home tomorrow. We've already told him, but, again, he doesn't believe me.

He'll be visiting his GAL after the judge. I think this is the part that I really need advice on.

At the permanency meeting before court, GAL, CASA, DFPS and agency workers were all in agreement that these kids need to have some resolution and TPR was what would be sought. To have some idea about the kids, the GAL came out to the house in March. She asked Bubba where he wanted to live. He of course said with his birth mom. The GAL then missed the hearing, family members petitioned for custody, attorneys were appointed and the case was continued status quo.

Fast forward 4 months to the next hearing. Just before the hearing started, the GAL comes over and tells me that she is opposing TPR on behalf of her client. DFPS and CASA come over and we have a little whispered conversation, they think I'm going to testify that Bubba needs to go home! The GAL told me later that her job is to represent her client and follow his wishes. Well, there's a 2 year old involved here, too!

I keep reading on the boards that the GAL is supposed to look out for the best interest of his/her client. I know that lawyers generally do what their clients want. So which is it? I'm trying to be respectful, but I'm feeling both frustrated and nervous.

Okay, so this turned into a vent. Who knew!

[straightblues]

I really can't believe that the system is putting a 4 year old in this position. 4 year olds, no matter how mature, shouldn't have this much pressure or control put onto them. I would not be discussing the case with a 4 year old and would try my hardest not to let anyone else discuss it with him either. He is too young and doesn't have any power to fix it.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by greenrobin

Bubba requested and was granted a visit with the judge in his case. He's 4, but he's not stupid! I think he just wanted to be sure that there really was a judge, not just someone I made up. He's nervous, partly because it's anew situation, partly because he thinks he's going home tomorrow. We've already told him, but, again, he doesn't believe me.

He'll be visiting his GAL after the judge. I think this is the part that I really need advice on.

At the permanency meeting before court, GAL, CASA, DFPS and agency workers were all in agreement that these kids need to have some resolution and TPR was what would be sought. To have some idea about the kids, the GAL came out to the house in March. She asked Bubba where he wanted to live. He of course said with his birth mom. The GAL then missed the hearing, family members petitioned for custody, attorneys were appointed and the case was continued status quo.

Fast forward 4 months to the next hearing. Just before the hearing started, the GAL comes over and tells me that she is opposing TPR on behalf of her client. DFPS and CASA come over and we have a little whispered conversation, they think I'm going to testify that Bubba needs to go home! The GAL told me later that her job is to represent her client and follow his wishes. Well, there's a 2 year old involved here, too!

I keep reading on the boards that the GAL is supposed to look out for the best interest of his/her client. I know that lawyers generally do what their clients want. So which is it? I'm trying to be respectful, but I'm feeling both frustrated and nervous.

Okay, so this turned into a vent. Who knew!

You are so right to be concerned. Why is the GAL putting the burden on this little one? 4 yrs old is too young to make these life decisions.

Is there a therapist? That is the person who could really speak for the child, someone who knows when a child says I want to go to bmom that perhaps he is afraid to say he doesn't, or is afraid to say yes to foster mom because he'll get in trouble.

Will be keeping good thoughts going your way, and praying for a good decision for your child.

[greenrobin]

The judge is probably the most charming man I've ever met. Before we were finished, he gave the kids a small toy each from his amazing collection of stuff in his office. They admired a little toy on his secretary's desk, so he pulled a $20 bill out and gave it to them so that they could buy one for themselves. Bubba and Sissy

He asked about how the kids felt about me and they told him they loved me. I kept bringing up their mom, but they didn't want to talk about her today.

The judge also asked what he could do for me. I asked for written permission to travel out of state to visit my dad. His cancer treatment is going well, but I still want to see him. So, the judge dictated a letter that gives me permission to travel at my discretion for as far as I feel necessary for as long as I have the kids.

He also asked me what I thought should happen. I told him I didn't want to influence him in any way. He assured me I would not, so I told him that I wanted to keep the kids, but I really wanted whatever was best for them, no matter what that means for me. I think the best thing would be for their mom to get it together and get them back, but barring that, I'd want them. He asked for how long and I told him forever. He was surprised that I was talking adoption. I told him that I love them and would want to adopt if he would permit it.

His next question was about the family members who would want to keep contact. I told him that I could support some degree of openness, but that it would depend on the safety of the kids. I think it's important if it's at all possible. He said, "Thank you. You've now told me all I need to know."

I think the visit went very well.

The GAL visit, however, was rather vague. She wanted to know what we'd talked about. I told her. She let the kids draw on a notebook she had. She talked to them and then we left. I cannot understand what it is that she's looking for. Of course, my 12 yr old son decided to act a fool with Bubba when we were with the GAL. I'm sure that impressed her mightily.

She is a good attorney. I just wish that she felt she could be more up front with us.

[DianeScraps]

WOW ! that judge sounds awesome!

He needs to train more judges around the country!

[RobinKay]

Your judge sounded so kind. Since the birthparents are not doing what they need to do, I am so glad you are there for them. I am also glad they felt comfortable enough to just say to the judge that they loved you.

Best wishes for a good outcome.

[ca-bigsister]

I love your judge. He asked what he could do for you? I've been a CASA and never heard that. Wow - I am so happy that there are judges out there that really do have the kids' best interests at heart.

I wish the best for you. Thanks for sharing an inspiring story.

[tvs4]

I pray that judge gets to keep hearing the case! he seems like he was concerned about the children and asked for you opinion because at the moment you are the children's parent and in performing that role you should have some sense of what would be good for these kids. It is nice he had enough respect for you to ask you. I think that most foster parents if they are honest people and would have similar feelings that if the children's mom can do what she needs to do then she deserves to have her children returned to her but if she can't then the kids need to stay where they are loved.