[lookingtofoster]

Hi everyone,
Has anyone ever breastfed their Foster Child or do you know the laws on it?? I am in MA and would really like to breastfeed my 3 month old foster baby but I'm not sure if it's allowed or what the guidelines/protocol are on that (and our family resource worker seems to be MIA so we can't easily ask her). He has a hard time with the formula and we never get enough from WIC to last us until the next check anyways so we're constantly buying more, which isnt a huge problem, but I would love to be able to nurse him anyways just for the added benefits. I would be getting tested/checked out just to make sure everything was a-okay for me to nurse him also!
Thanks so much I really appreciate any help or advice that you can give me!!!
(sorry if this sounds really scattered I've got a very fussy baby over here )

[mommy2fiveplus]

I would think that the mother's opinion would play a HUGE part in that decision.

[lookingtofoster]

Thanks so much for the reply, Thats what I was thinking also. Hmmm I guess we'll have to see.
Thanks again, I really appreciate the input

[carlychan]

Hello. I think it would be great to be able to breastfeed foster kids, but here it is absolutely not allowed. Too much risk to the baby, I guess. We are in California.

[EZ2Luv]

MA is a VERY difficult state to work with IMO when it comes to adoptions and foster care. I would be hard pressed to believe that you would be allowed to do it regardless of what the biomom said. Is there any way that biomom can express milk of her own for the baby?
I would be curious to know if in fact they would approve something like that as this is the first time I have heard a foster mom make such a request. I think it would be great if it were allowed because I am of the school of "breast is best" and encourage breastmilk whenever ppssible. I also see nothing wrong with amoms breast feeding. The only possible problem I see with a foster mom breast feeding is the bond it creates and what happens when baby is moved?

EZ

[LibbyHawkins]

Originally Posted by EZ2Luv

MA is a VERY difficult state to work with IMO when it comes to adoptions and foster care. I would be hard pressed to believe that you would be allowed to do it regardless of what the biomom said. Is there any way that biomom can express milk of her own for the baby?
I would be curious to know if in fact they would approve something like that as this is the first time I have heard a foster mom make such a request. I think it would be great if it were allowed because I am of the school of "breast is best" and encourage breastmilk whenever ppssible. I also see nothing wrong with amoms breast feeding. The only possible problem I see with a foster mom breast feeding is the bond it creates and what happens when baby is moved?

EZ

Besides all the logistical concerns of doing this, I would like to say, that my almost 5 month old fc couldn't be more bonded to me, I don't think it creates "more" of a bond.

I also don't believe I have less of a bond with my mother because I wasn't breast fed.

I am sorry if I misunderstood your implications, but I sure hope that I misunderstood.

[EZ2Luv]

Originally Posted by LibbyHawkins

Besides all the logistical concerns of doing this, I would like to say, that my almost 5 month old fc couldn't be more bonded to me, I don't think it creates "more" of a bond.

I also don't believe I have less of a bond with my mother because I wasn't breast fed.

I am sorry if I misunderstood your implications, but I sure hope that I misunderstood.

Not saying breasfeeding is the ONLY way to bond. I was not breastfed and I am an adoptee and I super bonded with amom. The fact is a breast fed baby that is not the bio of the fmom is going to bond to her, then what happens if the baby is moved. Babies can bond without being breast fed, but the possiblity of taking baby to breast for a long period of time when there are no guarentees of permanancy is going to hard on the baby. Ask any mother who breast feeds or has bread fed. Even when they express milk to bottle feed it is sometimes difficult to transition baby. The only way for a smooth transition to bottle is to alternate breast and EBM bottle fed from the very begining. Trust me I have BTDT. Some babies once they get that breast they won't settle for anything but.

EZ

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by EZ2Luv

Not saying breasfeeding is the ONLY way to bond. I was not breastfed and I am an adoptee and I super bonded with amom. The fact is a breast fed baby that is not the bio of the fmom is going to bond to her, then what happens if the baby is moved. Babies can bond without being breast fed, but the possiblity of taking baby to breast for a long period of time when there are no guarentees of permanancy is going to hard on the baby. Ask any mother who breast feeds or has bread fed. Even when they express milk to bottle feed it is sometimes difficult to transition baby. The only way for a smooth transition to bottle is to alternate breast and EBM bottle fed from the very begining. Trust me I have BTDT. Some babies once they get that breast they won't settle for anything but.


EZ

I think you are saying that a baby that is not breast-fed is less likely to "bond" to the foster mom. That would be terribly unfortunate for the baby, because that is where attachment disorder starts. It is FAR better for the baby to bond and then be moved and have that bond disrupted, than for the baby to NOT bond in the first place. It is true that it hurts a child to have multiple placements, but it hurts them even more to not be able to attach in the first place. The tragedy of a child that does not bond very early in life is a lifetime legacy of pain and suffering. Fortunately, I do not believe that breastfeeding is the only way to accomplish this, but I did really want to address your idea (if I understand you correctly) that it is better for a baby NOT to bond to a foster mom.

[athikers]

I know this thread has been here before and I believe some states do allow this, check with someone specific to MA.

[Jensboys]

Have a friend (in BC, Canada) she was able and encouraged to breastfeed her premie foster son after he came home from the hospital. Firstmom's rights were terminated though.

[lookingtofoster]

Thank you so much for all of the replys and I'm sorry that I havent replied sooner.... The kiddos have been very busy the past couple days but they're both napping now so hopefully I have a minute. To address the pp's response, I understand what you're saying about the bond that breastfeeding creates and the way I think of it ,which I think is what you're saying, is not that a breast fed child is MORE bonded just that they would have an additional difficulty when moved if they would not switch from breast to bottle. That problem, in our case, would be solved because he goes to daycare from 9-3 because I need to work so he would need to take a bottle and I would probably have to supplement with formula so he would be used to that too. I would also try to gradually switch him back to formula from a bottle when I knew that it was close to the time where he would be moved back with biomom (which in his case is not until ATLEAST December but most likely later) and they will tell me atleast a few weeks before he goes back that he's moving back. Unfortunatley the biomom is, as far as I know, at this point not clean (she was on methadone) and is also in a jail that is very far away from us so having her express milk is not an option and I honestly don't think that she would. So I guess I will have to see what the SW worker says. EZ2luv is right though, MA is HORRIBLEEEE to work with and our "county" is even worse so I'll try to think positively but at this point I'm not super hopeful. Well thank you so so much for all of the replys and I would love to hear from anyone else who has any ideas or experiences with this.

[shycar]

Breastfeeding is a big no no here. The problem with the idea of moving from breast milk to bottle when the time comes for the move, is not knowing. With foster care you live everyday not knowing what will happen tomorrow. I have had a case where the sw call me right after court to have my fd things ready she is going home. The goal was for her to move in three months, but the Judge did not want to wait three months. I had an hour to wash and get her things ready, dh did not get to say good bye. Or I had two girls that were moved in a week to family, the girls did not even get trasition, they just said they are leaving next week-they were strangers to the girls. I can not imagine what would it do to a baby being breastfed going from one day to breastfed to the next a bottle. It would be terrible for the baby and the bmom. You might think you have enough time, but many times you dont know. Some babies take more then just a few weeks to transition them, some will refuse the bottle for months.

My sil breastfeeds her baby, OMG she had to go out of town when he was 3 months old. OMG the baby would not eat at all. I did not sleep and my sil had to come 3 days early becouse the baby would not take the bottle and we were affraid he would get sick. I told her I would never keep her babies over night if they are breastfed. (by the way this baby is no longer a baby, but it took her 6 month).

Something to think about, there are places that donate breastmilk. I heard they make sure the milk comes from healthy woman. That is a good option, if he is not doing well with formula, then maybe getting breastmilk donated in a bottle would be good for him.

[JessicaBaker]

I'm going to post a link to the thread that I started awhile ago on this topic. There are three pages of comments and it does get a little heated at times. Hope the link works:

Breastfeeding foster child

BTW, the friend who inquired about this has now privately adopted for the third time.

[lookingtofoster]

Thank you so so much for the link to the other post. I will definitley look at it and see what people said. I honestly didn't know how touchy this subject was but congratulations to your friend that is sooo exciting!!!!



Shycar--- Thanks so much for your reply. I definitley understand what you're saying but luckily with this little one I know for a fact that we will have him until atleast December but even if something crazy happened and they moved him unexpectedly he would luckily already be taking a bottle because of daycare like I had said in a previous post. I have always planned to and will be thinking about this alot and finding out more information before I make any decisions and will, like always think about making the best decision for everyone involved. Especially the baby. Thanks again for the replys I really appreciate them!!!

[Robbin]

The one thing I did not see mentioned here is also what happens if the baby would have TB or hepatitis, or God forbid, HIV? I think all of those things could be transmitted from nurser to nursee and visa versa. Believe me, I am not opposed to nursing (my 3 bio's were all breastfed, never even a bottle. My (now) 18 year old was actually nursed by my friend who was watching him when he got really fussy when my appt ran overtime, but I would really hesitate to recommend it for fostering because of disease transmission.