[Gentin]

So my FD's mother had her second little girl yesterday and my CW asked if I would bring my FD up to meet her new sister. We are in the process of going to trial for TPR on my FD because the parents are contesting. Anyway I brought her up to meet her new sister and it is very confusing because DHHS is letting her keep the new baby as long as she is in a group home for young mothers but she can't have her daughter that lives with me???- She was in the same type of home with her daughter my FD and only made it a month before she called and told the state she couldn't handle it. The CW has already asked if I would take the new baby if they take it from the parents. It was just really weird and awkward yesterday due to the fact my FD has lived with me for 10 months and didn't want to go to her parents - she wanted to go to me - she was holding my hand, clinging to my leg and only wanting me to pick her up. Her mother has really bad anxiety problems and cried when she called me mom a few times! I also didn't mention that the father missed the entire labor and delivery on the new baby because he couldn't get a ride but the mother was in the hospital for about 24 hours. They didn't have a camera so I took a bunch of pictures for them because I felt bad. What a weird situation!!! Just had to vent

[sethsmommy]

That is awkward but how nice of you to help out. I think these parents want to parent but they just are not capable. So sad. I hope your tpr process goes smoothly. We are in that too.

[Gentin]

I do really feel bad for them because they do love their daughter but they are not capable of parenting so I just think it is a matter of time before they call me to take the new baby!

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I think the CW put you in a very awkard situation. I'm not sure how old your FD is but I think a quick viewing through the nursery window would have been sufficient without any interaction with biomom. From what you posted it sounds like that would have been best for FD AND biomom since she didn't handle the interaction well either.
Kim

[agathaj]

bmother cried a few times...it was understandable with emotions and hormones running high but I get sad when I hear other people deciding whether a bmother can or can not handle a visit. Many visits with my bchild have upset me but I still wanted them and I am glad they happened. If I hadn't wanted the visit I would have said so or not turned up. also as much as it is upsetting to hear the child call someone else mom, it's reasuring to see that your child has bonded with their f/amother.

[vegaschristina]

Originally Posted by Gentin

I do really feel bad for them because they do love their daughter but they are not capable of parenting so I just think it is a matter of time before they call me to take the new baby!

Sad isn't it? I have a sibling group of 3 now for the same reason. Because bmom just never could get it together, but loving her children was never an issue.

[Gentin]

Originally Posted by agathaj

bmother cried a few times...it was understandable with emotions and hormones running high but I get sad when I hear other people deciding whether a bmother can or can not handle a visit. Many visits with my bchild have upset me but I still wanted them and I am glad they happened. If I hadn't wanted the visit I would have said so or not turned up. also as much as it is upsetting to hear the child call someone else mom, it's reasuring to see that your child has bonded with their f/amother.

This has to parts - I never said in my post that the mother couldn't handle the visit - I gave the details of the visit - I know the mother wanted the visit and enjoys it with her daughter!

Second this mother is not like other mothers - she is mentally slow and incapable of understanding why she calls me mom - the last time she heard that she called the CW and cried and screamed about it!

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I think agathaj was referring to my post where I stated

Originally Posted by xxsurroundedbyxy

From what you posted it sounds like that would have been best for FD AND biomom since she didn't handle the interaction well either.

But in response to agathaj's quote of:

Originally Posted by agathaj

but I get sad when I hear other people deciding whether a bmother can or can not handle a visit. Many visits with my bchild have upset me but I still wanted them and I am glad they happened

I am sure you were glad that the visits happened, but was your child? If "many visits" upset you, perhaps they could have/should have been postponed. I have seen too many times, biomoms lose it in front of their children with little regard as to how if affects the child for days to come.

I only stated my opinion based upon the OP comments. It was stated that she was taking the FD to see her new sister (not her biomom) AND since emotions do run high with hormones after birth etc perhaps the CW asking the OP to bring the child at that time was not in the best interest of the child and that is who comes first.

Kim

[Gentin]

I get it now - I thought she was talking about my post but after reading everything I see - I think the CW was in the wrong asking me to bring my FD up to see the new baby - but it did make me feel good because the parents were very thankful and they got to see the bond I have with their daughter! I mean this case is in the process of TPR!

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Originally Posted by Gentin

I mean this case is in the process of TPR!

Exactly. That was the position from which I was coming from. With reunification more than likely not taking place, I think going to see the new sibling should have been left up to you but an emotional visit with mom would not have been in the best interest of the child.