[KelleyF]

I would appreciate some advice regarding my fs's situation. So far, I have gotten very little info from CW but have since received some very disturbing info the other day and I can't stop thinking about whether I should do something.
He's the situation, when he arrived I was told the Mom was mentally ill(so was not able to reunify) and they were looking to reunify with the Dad. End of story, never heard anything else in the past 4 months that we've had him. Apparently they were at court the other day, the CW called me and said that BD could never be reunified (didn't say why) and that birthmom was doing pretty good, so they want to start overnights next week with her and "push this thing through at a very fast pace" (her exact words). What????!! The Mom has been mentally ill for many years, as well as drug abuse. She was in a mental institution a few months ago and now lives in a group home and has no job. How is this a good situation to raise a baby? It was only two weeks ago that the CW said the mother is doing better, but she only been having classes once a week so it will be a very long road for her. She also said if it falls through with the Dad, the baby will go to a long term foster home because the Mom won't be ready for a long time, if ever. I am in shock and so worried for this little guy. I feel they are putting my fs in a potentially dangerous situation, not to mention setting the Mom up for failure. I can't believe this is happening and I'm not sure if I should just shut my mouth and trust the CW's decision, or if I should get CASA involved. I did find out that the only way CASA would be involved is if they were requested to do so by the CW or a FP. This whole thing just doesn't make sense but maybe I should just mind my own business. Would any of you step in and get CASA involved or would you just trust that the CW knows what she's doing?? Thanks.

[arubagirl]

I would say something, since you are his "voice" for now. what about talking with his his law guardian ?

[reapingjoy]

I can only speak from my experience with our foster daughter & we only fostered once so take it for what it's worth. :-)

I would definitely outline your concerns for the CW & the CASA. CASAs are there only for the good of the child, they have no ulterior motive (like let's get this case over & done so I can close it out). Document every conversation with the CW & the CASA & anything else that you notice or find out.

I wish I had been a little more forceful about our fd. She was a newborn whose bmom was MIA & bdad was unknown. They told me there were no suitable relatives. It's a long story, but they did end up putting her with the mother of a 19 y.o. cousin who was best friends with the bmom & who really wanted this baby. She was not old/mature enough so CSB could not legally put her with the 19 y.o. However, during the entire homestudy process, the 19 y.o. was the one who came for visits (her mother only came to a couple), it was obvious the 19 y.o. was the one caring for & wanting the baby, her mother lied throughout her process about several different things, & both the CASA & I "knew" that they would be letting bmom have total freedom for contact even though CSB said absolutely not.

It still churns my stomach to think about it more than 2 years later. The CW we worked with was very new & has since gained a reputation for just trying to get his cases done with no homework or investigation on his side. He acted like he would take all of my concerns seriously, but he never did.

The CASA said he believed the same as I did, but that he had to have actual proof (meaning they had to put a 3 mo. old with this family & let them fail before he could do anything). About a month after she left, the CASA showed up on my doorstep asking for the information I had about fd missing dr. appts. since going to the relative. He said he had enough proof of trust issues to go before the magistrate. I never heard another word, but of course, was worried out of my mind about her.

After a year, we decided to adopt domestically & I wrote to the CW to find out if there was any chance fd would be coming back into the system or if he could tell me how she was doing. He said "XXX will be remaining in the care of relatives. Happy Holidays" ....seriously....

I do regret not going above his head to his supervisor with my concerns. The relative even lied outright in the staffing & all the CWs ate it up with a spoon....only the CASA & I saw through her. I can only hope she is doing ok....

I would definitely be a little stronger in voicing my concerns if I were to foster again. Sometimes, the fp is the voice of reason in the mess of bueracracy. And the CASA will be your biggest advocate probably.

Good luck!

[MassachusettsMom]

Speak up. You might be the only one looking out for the best interest of the child.

[pandatj]

We were in a similar situation. I know it wont make it easier, but what I have found is that sometimes SW change their minds as the case develops more and more. Maybe they have new information that isnt being shared with FP. I believe all FP should document everything, write a letter to your judge, be his voice. But in the end, it is the Judge that will make the decision. I cried too many nights missing the little guys that went back home, who are now back in care, or about to be. We could make ourselves sick this way... So, I work on the now. Doing what I am supposed to, praying to god, or your choice, that the judge will to... Things will work out as they are meant to be. If the babe does go home, just let the SW know that you would want to be a placement for him in the future, should he come back into care.

Good luck... let us know how it works out.

[tvs4]

Something sounds off to me too.. either mom wasn't really mentally ill (at least as much as CW originally believed) or something else is "up". Maybe mom got a good lawyer and judge sided with mom's lawyer?

What is your relationship with the CW - can you ask direclty "why is this being rushed when the assumption was the mom was too mentally ill to care for the baby?" "what has changed to make her capable of care now?"

If you can't get an answer or if you are not comfortable I'd contact the child's lawyer and then maybe ask for a CASA or a supervisor.

just my opinion.

[KelleyF]

I just got off the phone with the CASA office and they told me that that "we are not assigned to that case because it is a conflict to our office"....OK?? what does that mean? When I asked her what that meant she just repeated the phrase. I asked the CW why all of a sudden is this being rushed and she said she got a good report from her CW so they were going to push it through. I didn't know someone could change their entire life in just 2 weeks!! I can't begin to imagine what has changed. The CW doesn't tell me much anyway. So now where do I go?

[Yash]

Did the CASA tell you who was representing the baby now? The baby has to have a lawyer. I would try to find this person, also if the CW isn't being unhelpful you could call his or her supervisor just to get clarification on what's going on.

[pandatj]

Our baby doesnt have a lawyer, GAL or a CASA... We only have a SW.

It takes sometimes up to being in care 6mo or more to get assigned here.

Good luck!!!

[KelleyF]

Yes, CASA told me to contact the baby's lawyer. I guess I'll have to ask the CW. I was trying to avoid that.

[Mummy_Big_Bird]

Just to put out another angle. I just had something similar happen in my own case, and I know you are from the same state as me (can tell by your avatar!).

I found the push for RU came from the program the bio mom was living in. They actually threatened the SW to give the baby back! The program said they would kick the mom out of the program if the baby wasn't living there by X amount of days. So DSS gave into it, so they wouldn't look like the bad guys in court.

The SW and her Supervisor even confessed to me that programs have been pulling this alot, because they get extra money for the kids to live at the program. Everyone at DSS felt that this mom was no way ready, but the program put them in a corner.

[KelleyF]

I'll bet that's exactly what's happening here. I wonder if there's anything I can do. If they reunify too early, I have no doubt my fs will end up right back in the system.

[AmahMama]

IMO, With the cw's, the programs, CASA's, it has become about the numbers. The number of ru's, the number of children, the amount of money stimulated by the children being in the wrong place. With budget cuts - children are "pushed" out as quickly as possible to make room on the calendars for the "incoming". The states have to report how large the caseloads are - and can be forced into a workforce they can't afford - they have to get cheaper labor - which means less qualified. It could also have been due to incorrect or exaggerated information being given to cw's and investigators. They've to back up so often - because of errors - they don't like to say much about the case - Hence every foster, every adoptive, every relative care parent should DOCUMENT every conversation with any person related to the case. It is so important to DOCUMENT!! Especially if the child is returned to care. I keep my "documents" and have referred to them often - for various reasons....

Good luck -

[SHAMROX]

Can I ask what state you're in? I'm in WA...I would definitely find who the "lawyer" is; I would think they wouldn't have someone assigned to represent just the baby, but maybe they haven't yet b/c they thought it would be an easy case.

Something isn't right. As a foster parent you are the advocate for the child; the CW and everyone else will not do the same things to help the child as you will. If you are comfortable, I would ask the CW the same questions you are asking us; how did the mom change her life in 2 weeks, what about the effect it will have on the baby, you are worried for his safety b/c a couple weeks of good reports is not enough improvement for a mentally ill person, etc.

In the cases I've had, I've been very much the advocate for my kids and the judge in my daughter's case complimented me on that. Of course right after that he got mad b/c I requested a CASA from my county because theirs is worthless. I had a judge once say that the FPs sometimes are the ones responsible for changing a child's life, because they advocate like the SWs are supposed to!

Good luck and keep us updated : 0

[Howdy]

I wonder if you could find out anything about the program the mother is in, such as, do they let the parent+child graduate out when it is not safe for the child, or do they report to the DFCS that the child would not be safe when the mother is released from the program?

If the child stays at the program with the mother, he should be safe while he is there, wouldn't he?

Personally, I would be much more comfortable having the child move to a supervised situation than just sent back home.