[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by pandatj

It would work with any animal, so long as it is not a monkey, since they look like kids.

I was insulted when I first read your post. My kids do NOT look like monkeys!

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Jennymac~
Give us an update. Have the attacks stopped or at least lessened?

Over time, if the behavior does not get any better you may have to choose to disrupt the placement......not because of your FD but for your own bio child. Imagine the stress at 15 mo of being the "baby" only to have a violent child your age join the clan......YIKES!

Your FD may have to be placed into a home with only older children that she does not feel threatened by (but will still be jealous of).

Just be sure to not neglect the emotional needs of your own family while trying to meet the emotional needs of your foster children. It is easy to do without even realizing it.

Good Luck and let us know how it's going and what you did to make things better!!

Kim

[jennymac527]

Thanks for all of your support - I am so glad we found this site. Our FD is getting better. She throws typical tantrums now for an almost 2 year old... (drops to the floor, kicks feet) and we just look at her like we don't understand and then walk away or go about our business (ignore bad behavior, right?). This used to drive her nuts, but she quickly figured out that we don't give in to that nonsense. She still does it, but it lasts 30 seconds or so. My sister in law is a nanny for twins and came by to meet our FD. She said the behaviors between the babies (our BD and our FD) are totally normal - they basically ignore each other now - are nice to each other 10% of the time, and want to push or not share about 10% of the time... but it is mellowing out!

My hubby and I both feel that adding our FD has been like adding 3 more kids! It has been quite an adjustment! I am still working on 'bonding' with her. I thought that would come faster???

[meshsgrl]

Playing little marco polo type games can help too if your ears and patience aren't too worn out. We started with Sweet Pea saying boo! and then disappearing for a quick second and coming back. Then we'd disappear again and peek back and say boo-boo! which she thought was HILARIOUS so she started saying boo-boo back. When I got busy with one of the kids and she'd start getting riled up I'd hollar boo! at her and then she'd come back with a boo-boo and start giggling hysterically. We'd go back and forth like that for as long as it took to keep her calm. It helped when I had to do things like pee, or run down stairs to throw a load of laundry in. That way I was still engaging her but it freed me up to do other things at the same time


I know this an old thread but I wanted to say THANK YOU!!!!! Little d had his first visit today. he is also still adjusting to being without his big bro, so he is incrediby clingy and has to know where I am at ALL times!! When I I get out of his sight, this is what you hear
D... Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM
Me..What, What, What, What, WHAT?!?!?!?!?! This went on until i was back in his sight! I was soooo tired of it, and then I remembered reading about this!!!! We made a game out of it and now whenever he starts calling mom, I reply by saying marco....so basically we replaced mom with marco and what with polo!! He loves it and thinks its the funniest thing, and I can do things like laundry and dishes without losing my cool!! The only thing is it keeps running through my mind!!! I know in the big scheme of things this in only a teeny tiny problem, but it was driving me crazy!

[tvs4]

Ok, just a quick funny story. when my daughter was two she was at the community pool and heard kids playing "Marco Polo" but in her two year old brain it got twisted and she started yelling "TACO, POLO" so in our family that is now the game and it makes me giggle all the time.